Utterly Deceptive Twaddle Speak

Chapter 1: The Problem

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It is night time and I am sitting in a twenty-four hour diner outside of LA. I am the girl with the rather largish breasts(they’re real thank you very much!) long wavy black hair, wearing the sweat pants, tank top, and half hoodie with hot pink flip flops, being harassed by a flamboyantly gay hair stylist named Lily(his real name is Leonard Tronsky but as his friend he has made me promise not to call him that if I can avoid it…). Oh and I may have imbibed a bit of alcohol…at that damned party... because of that stupid man...Dammit they are frustrating!

My name is Alexandra Elizabeth Kincaid and I am a successful lawyer. I am rich and have rock star clients! Yeah right no, that’s a lie, well sort of. I am a lawyer, but also a talent manager. So how old am I? Well, I’m twenty-nine. I worked from freshman year of high school, past graduation for the money, and kept working. I had not been approved for federal aid at first so I had to take the long road. But it wasn’t that bad(well my job as a waitress was horrible but the spa work and the power plant were alright). So here I am today, I’ve passed the Bar exam and am now sharing an apartment with my best friend Damian, full name Damian Sebastian Renwick. We have been friend since we were eight years old. We were two of the most popular kids at our high school in the middle of nowhere, but I moved to California after graduation and he followed but not for a romantic reason, to my disappointment. He was cast in a movie after some scouts stopped at the mall near our home town and discovered him. He is now quite famous, and I am his lawyer and manager and…

“I am completely in love with him. I didn’t intend to fall for him but how can anyone not?” The alcohol made it easier to spill my guts, and as much as my brain tried to tell my mouth to be quiet, the words just kept falling from my lips.

“He sees me as his best friend who just happens to wear skirts, and is in fact female. That is how it always was, no matter what I did he never actually saw that my feeling were more.”

“Hun, here’s what you gotta do: first, you get a make over, nothing big just to enhance your beauty. Second, you get a new wardrobe and a boyfriend. Make him jealous and make him drool. I mean honey, we’ve all noticed that he scares off every guy you date, so get one that won’t be scared away, but is just as gorgeous as he is!” Lily somehow managed to whisper and squeal simultaneously, which is worse than it sounds.

For some reason I agreed with him, and that is what started me down the path I’m currently on…and as much as I love Lily, I’ll definitely kill him if his advice ruined my life.

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Hey y'all! Here's another story for you! When I get some reviews I'll give you the next chapter! Reviews are love!

Muse