i had so much to tell you,

so much excitement and joy. but it will have to wait another day i think.

my cat is dying.

it has myocarthia, i think is the name.

basically its heart is to big for its lungs to breath

properly.

its sad.

he has to take these pills that we must force feed him, as he heaves and coughs.

hes such a beautiful cat, but now hes just grumpy and sore

and it makes me sad.

the vets say it'll either go away with the meds, or he'll die out of the blue one night, or he'll be taking meds for the rest of his life.

i hope for the first, but fear the second and the third is too sorrowful.

its just not fair.

he deserves to be here.

but i gess we must just bless him with our presence where needed, and be thankful to have his,

for as long as hes on this earth with us.

just like any being-or animal.

we never know when our time will come.

so we must be greatful for the time we have together...

--

i feel sorta mellow.

my excitement is now stuck

flattened

underneath a plie of sadness,

that wreeks with used anxiety meds,

like worn socks in a pile of dirty clothing.

-

i havent felt this sad in a while, its almost surreal.

im chucking a sicky tomorro.