I Wonder What He Was Thinking

It was Christmastime. People do tons of crazy irrational things at Christmastime.

My best friend threw a party, a Christmas/Chanukah party. She invited us to come exchange gifts and have a good time. It was cold and rainy outside. But inside the house was warm and full of cheerful people chatting, drinking cider, and singing (there was so much singing throughout the night). I don’t know what it was about this place but it seemed so golden. I didn’t think it was possible for a place to feel like a color until I walked into the living room. Mistletoe and holly hung all around and music circulated through the room. Most of the party was simply a party more singing, talking, and of course cider.

Then it happened, I started thinking about a friend of mine. He wasn’t your average guy. In fact, most average guys would probably find him a little off color. As I watched him I realized the feelings I had had for him, the past few months, were starting to bother me. I started to feel like I had to show him or tell him somehow. At the end of the party that chance came.

As soon as attention of leaving party members were somewhere else I walked up to him and took his hand. I lost my nerve as leaned close to him and kissed him on the cheek (my original “plan” was to just kiss him). He stood there shocked as if he didn’t know what just happened. I didn’t stay at the party for very much longer but I wish I did. For even now a question nags at the back of my mind. When I kissed him what was he thinking?