It was late afternoon as I looked down in confusion at the two weak-looking energy cables that seemed to go out far into the distance to a speck of land I could just barely see. Disgust coiled in my soul as I reached down to probe it, to see who was trying to claim a spot on my little island. Although I had a suspicion of just who the person was, I was too damned cautious at this point not to be sure before acting. Now more than ever I had to be pretty damn careful who I let onto my island.

A few minutes later, I felt more than heard myself scream in rage. Glaring at the cable, the cold fire of hate burned thought my veins. I didn’t stop it; I merely let it run its course until it died enough for me to think. My mouth tasted of the dirty copper of my blood, and I swallowed it a few times while I cleared my head. To say I felt blind-sided didn’t even begin to cover it.

The sudden pain from my still halved soul drove me to my knees before I could brace myself against it. Most times, I could ignore it, the same way that an amputee would ignore the phantom pain from a missing limb. Time had done wonders for the adjustment, and the fact that this attempt appeared to be just as flimsy and half-hearted as the first one also helped, and I rode out the pain like a lover in absolute silence until it faded again.

“So, what will you do?” A musical multi-tonal voice asked behind me as I managed to get onto my feet again. This was a welcome and most beloved visitor, unlike others, she was allowed to come and go in my island home as often as she wished at any time.

Shaking my head, I managed to clear the after-affects, and studied the beginnings of the bridge’s sloppy construction. “I will do nothing, judging from the look of this, it’ll die on it’s own without my meddling.” I shrugged and turned away to face her. “If it survives, than that is what the gods and fates themselves decree and I won’t challenge it.”

My Lady looked at me and cocked her head. “Yet you are not pleased with this.” She stated, not bothering to make it a question.

“No,” I said, falling in step with the Lady who I served. “I’m not pleased with this in the least. Why in the world is she possibly doing this now?” I demanded.

“Whether she admits it or not, the two of you are bound to one another. She may have seemed to have moved on with her life, maybe taken a lover or two, but in the end she couldn’t stay away from you.” She replied. “You were a major driving force in her life young one.”

I snarled before I could stop myself. “That never mattered before. She seemed to manage just fine on her own. I was the one who was left to clean up the mess and ended up split in two, it’s taken me this long to heal to this point, but we both know that I’ll never really be whole. The bond I had with Gary was never like this!” I wasn’t bitter, just cold.

She nodded. “True, this wasn’t what was originally intended. However, I do know that she was just as hurt as you are, but you’re better at expressing it than she is. Keep in mind that you are the one who makes her write.”

“That may be true, but damnit, she turns me inside out! I might not be whole, but I certainly don’t want to end up dead!”

Now my Lady smiled at me and kissed the crescent moon on my brow. “I have faith in you as well as in your abilities. You are a survivor, and I’m very proud of you.”

This made me smile. “I swore to serve, but I never said anything about blind obedience.” I reminded her.

Smiling, she looked amused as she nodded before she soundlessly walked away. I knew without asking that she was heading back to her own bridge.

Sighing, I continued on my way to my little tower. The sand felt warm beneath my bare feet as I walked. Unlike most islands, mine was absolutely silent save for the waves crashing on the shores around me. I reveled in the stillness, the temple-like peace which allowed me the freedom to think without haste or distraction. A smile spread on my face as I carefully wiped my feet before opening the door to the cellar to get some fruit for my lunch.

A few minutes later with a small basket of fruit in my hands, thankful that I didn’t eat that much as I began to climb the stairs; sometimes pausing to gaze outside to look at the various bridges that surrounded my home. Some of them were aged and strong; others were sill fragile or warped and decaying while new ones continued to grow to replace the ones no longer there. As I climbed I saw only emptiness where I knew yours to be.

When I reached the top, I almost dropped my meal, stunned by what my eyes were showing me. In the middle of the living quarters was a squirrel that reminded me of you. I was confused to say the least. How in the name of the Goddess had it gotten here without my knowing it? To say the least, there were no other squirrels on the island!

We stared at each other in silence then I crossed the room to place the basket on the small table I used for both writing as well as eating. My uninvited guest watched my every movement with wide soulful eyes, its bushy tail wrapped around itself. Somehow the animal looked lost, lonely and hopeful all at the same time. I couldn’t help but smile slightly before I spoke. “You must be lost, I’m sorry, but there are no nuts here for me to offer you.” I sat down, picked up a piece of fruit and took a bite.

As though in answer, the squirrel chirped, and hopped over only to scamper up the back of my chair to perch on my shoulder. Rubbing its head against my cheek, the squirrel’s tail covered the back of my neck in a swath of warmth, seemingly content to stay there.

“Affectionate little thing aren’t you?” I commented, breaking the silence after I had finished another mouthful. Feeling the squirrel stroke my cheek again with its head, I chuckled softly and rubbed its head in return, absently listening to the soft chitter chatter in my ear as I continued my meal. Once finished, I gently put my guest on the table and cleaned up my meal. Heading back downstairs, I threw the cores on the compost heap before rinsing out the basket. Absently I hung it on the hook among the others that were already there to dry in the dying sun, then returned back upstairs to watch the sunset from my window.

Settling down into my usual place at the window, I gazed out the window and watched the sun set and let my thoughts wander as the squirrel jumped down from the table and settled into my lap. The stillness of the place seeped into my mind and soothed my restless thoughts. The squirrel however, didn’t seem to share my contentment and twitched beneath my hand, asking for pats.

“Yes, yes…” I murmured to it, petting it absently while my mind was still a long ways away. “I’m petting you, so relax. You must not get much attention where you come from.”

All this time, I was still pondering what to do about you. Even after all this time, I still felt the burning void you had so coldly left behind. However, I wasn’t about to let you spread your mayhem to the peaceful place I had spent so long to built. A part of me still longed for you, missed you and wanted you back in my life regardless of the cost; however I knew better than to listen to that voice. Was I happy without you? No. But I had still found contentment in whatever minor peace I had obtained during those three years of silence, and I wasn’t willing to give that up for a faded tearstained dream.

Turning my head slightly, I looked outside and gazed down at the bridges that spanned that side of my island. While it was true I lived here on my own and shared this place with no one, I wasn’t really that lonely. I could see my circle of friends whenever I chose. These were ones that cared about me and valued me for what I had to give. There were times that I had considered a convent, but I still enjoyed the freedom that I had, even though it might not have been much by your standards. Smiling, I felt at peace.

The moon was just starting to rise when I finally came back to myself and I gently moved my now sleeping yet still twitching guest to stand and stretch. Looking at all the stacks of journals I had scattered around the room, my smile turned into a grin. All of these were mine, and I reminded myself that eventually I was going to need to get an addition put onto the tower for all of these. A yawn caught me by surprise and I decided that enough was enough for the night. Padding over to my sleeping corner I curled up after stripping my clothes and only dimly sensed my guest making itself comfortable against the back of my neck before I fell fast asleep.

When I woke up the next morning, the squirrel was gone again. With a shrug, I tidied when I’d slept and went to wash up, not bothering to dress. In the privacy of my own place, clothes weren’t really needed until later in the day. I rarely if ever ate breakfast, so after my bath, I began to make the rounds to check on my bridges.

All was well until I came to the grounds for yours. While yours hadn’t changed, as I had privately wondered, I noticed that a gift had been left there for me. On top of some leaves there was a small pile of nuts that were already cracked and ready to eat. Picking them up, I couldn’t help but think about a Greek myth I had once read about Persephone and the pomegranate seeds, however I shook it off sharply. You would not have planned that, seeing as you’d never (at least to my knowledge anyway) been interested in mythology. I also knew you weren’t that desiring of my company after all these years apart out in the exciting world with having your bindless no-strings-attached desires fully met.

However, as I walked back to my tower with the squirrel’s gift cupped in my slender hands, I still couldn’t help but wonder: Was that squirrel, as my Lady may have suggested, the part of your soul that was bound to my own? If that was so, then what was the meaning behind the gift I’d found?

Putting those questions out of my mind, I went back to my tower to eat and to write. I trusted that things would work out on their own if I waited long enough. After all, I had learned how to wait things out a long time ago.

If it didn’t… Well, I knew where the matches were if it was needed.