Sweet Torture

It all seems so far away now. Like it happened decades ago. But it’s really only been a year. One long year. It figures that right when I thought I was over her I had to see her again.

Melanie and I had a very complicated relationship. We couldn’t tell anyone about us for the fear of what they would think. The only time we had together was the time when no one was looking. I only felt her lips touch mine once every few weeks, when we were able to find a place that no one else knew about. Those sweet moments turned into torture.

I wanted to be able to love her in front of everyone, not behind their backs. So I did the only thing I could do. I confessed that I was in love with a girl and I didn’t care what anyone thought. The only problem was, Mel cared. She denied it all and ran away with her ex-boyfriend.

That was a year ago today. For awhile after she was gone, I was depressed. All I could do was think about everything we’d shared and wish to have it back someday. But then I finally forced myself to try to be happy without Mel. I found someone new, and I was able to be with her whenever I wanted.

Now Mel was standing in front of me, telling me all about how she finally told her parents and friends, and that she was coming back to me. I remembered those nights in my room when I wanted to have what I used to have. I wanted to throw my arms around her and kiss her forehead, her neck, her collarbone. I wanted us to be us again.

And it broke my heart to say no.