– broken, actually. Like petals on a flower, plucked off one by one
and thrown into the wind. The piece of me are being torn off and
tossed away, because no one wants them. I don't want to be like
this. I keep trying to keep a happy face, but the tears keep finding
a way to sneak in. I keep making mistakes, and every time I promise
not to repeat them, it ends up that I do. I'm not trying to make
this hell; I'm only trying to make it through. I don't want our
existence to be a raging forest fire between us. There's no water
to put the fire out here. There's only more gasoline, pouring from
my mouth, pooling at my feet, burning in front of me. Where's the
water? There's no relief. There's no help. There's only pain.
I'm trying, and I know you don't believe me, but it's so hard.
It's so hard to get things right. Fate threw me an awful dice roll
the day I was born. Fate laughed at me and decided I would be its
little play thing. Fate snickered and I cried. I didn't want to be
like this. The brains waves just don't connect, I'm losing
everything. I'm losing someone I thought I could trust, someone
I've know for what seems like forever. This wasn't a friendship
that was supposed to end. This wasn't supposed to end. It wasn't
supposed to end. I don't want to it end. I just want to be free.
But even that's too much to ask for.