When does it end? When will I be able to sit near him without longing for him to hold me? Is there a point where I can be around him and not want his arms around me? Have I completely lost my mind?

With Billy, I never really wanted to be near him. I avoided him as often as I could, but Alan…I feel like he actually cares about me. I look forward to school every day simply because I get to be with him. If I didn't have Alan, I would have no reason to attend school.

I feel complete when I'm with him, and we're apart, I want nothing more than to run into his arms again. My day isn't complete unless I talk to him at least once. When he told me "In my eyes, you're everything an angel represents", I knew somehow that he meant it, that he was being honest with me.

If I were to somehow lose Alan, I don't know what I'd do. I probably wouldn't be able to handle it. He has already become more important to me that I would have ever thought possible. I know I'm not good enough for him, but I hope to be someday. With God, anything is possible…