I Just Don't know

How do I say I love you
When there’s so much that I have to hide.
How do I say I hate you?
When you’ll never know why.

There are so many things I haven’t told you
I can’t tell you
I don’t know why.
There’s so much that you haven’t told me.
How do I cry to you when you won’t cry to me?

How do you open my soul?
When I don’t have a soul to open.
Are you really who you seem to be?
Or is it just something that I want to see.

I seem to hurt the people I love.
You don’t seem to mind that I can’t care.
I can care.
I just care too much.
I worry for love.
I worry for hate.

Would you love me if you knew?
Would you love me if you didn’t?
I’ll never know how to tell you how much you matter.
To matter is to hurt.

I hate to hurt.
I hate you.
You’ve done nothing to make me hate you.
But you could so I won’t

I won’t talk.
I won’t listen.
I’ll just stop.
And when you don’t care about me.
I’ll tell myself I told you so.
Because I didn’t care to begin with.

A/N: I do not write stuff like this. I write short stories and I attempt to write novels but I don't do stuff like this. So I know it sucks. I just don't care, because I was sitting here and it hit me and I couldn't stop. So here it is.