CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Kiss from a Rose

Tears rolled across the bridge of her nose, plunking onto her pillow. All she wanted was to feel his arms around her again, and that was something that would be denied for at least the remainder of her high school days. Dan probably thought she was an immature, little brat for pulling that old-fashioned, ‘jealousy’ card on him; and he was probably shocked by his own actions, meeting alone with her in that closet, hugging her closely and gazing at her lips. He’d probably avoid her now… Adults could be like that- extra cautious, even to the point of causing great pain. Hell, she was a young adult and was usually just like that- extra cautious. She deserved to be like that, and Katie confirmed that fact with her icy, blue-eyed stare. Just what the hell did she think she was doing, glorying in the feel of a man’s arms around her, happily driving both Kevin and Dan insane with her good looks?

She wasn’t even that good looking… it was just the Wonder Woman suit that emphasized her ‘assets’.

Her shoulders racked with the quiet sobs, broken by uneven breaths that were quiet enough not to awaken her sleeping parents.

Dan was the only one in the world… the only one who understood her. He was the one who’d introduced her to God’s love and reminded her of the beauty of the universe. He was the one who’d shaken her out of the hell whole of despair.

And she couldn’t have him. She was too young. And a relationship between them was illegal, wasn’t it? She thought she’d heard somewhere that in the state of Ohio, teachers could go to prison for having affairs with students; and that meant that they needed to keep their distance… stay far apart from one another.

Tap, tap, tap.

Her breath caught, her eyes roaming up toward the window, where a gloved hand appeared…. Tap, tap, tap.

“Oh, my God.” She jumped up, her heart pounding from the horror of finding a stranger outside her window. A red face invaded the glass, but her scream died in her throat when she recognized the slanted, white eyes. Spider-Man.

Dan Fields!! She rushed over, wearing the typical her t shirt and shorts that she wore every night, and hesitated before opening the window. She made a gesture, like lifting something over her head, hoping he’d take the hint, and he did. The mask came off, assuring her that it was her loveable English teacher, so she turned the lock and carefully slid the panel up.

“Dan!” she breathed, and he peered over his shoulder before meeting her gaze, wild eyed, his chest rapidly expanding and contracting.

“Rose, I was worried,” he whispered. “You were crying when you left.”

“I know…I’m… Look, you shouldn’t stand out there,” she hissed, peeking at the door to ensure that she’d locked it. “Someone might see you. Come in.”

His eyes widened in horror.

“Don’t worry- Alice has snuck in here a million times, and my parents never heard a damned thing.”

“Rose, if I get caught-”

He bit his lip as he glanced behind him again, and held up his finger. “We’ll do this right. I’ll ring the doorbell.”

“Well, that would look suspicious!” She argued.

Frowning now, “But at least your parents would know that we’re talking, as opposed to catching me inside of your bedroom.”

“But, Dan-” Her mom might understand, but her dad… Who the hell knew what he would think?

A car horn went off. Bekah clamped her hands over his forearms. The horn sounded again and again, and all she could think was that someone had spotted him and was trying to warn her parents. He escaped her grip, ducking into the darkness; but she wasn’t about to let him get away that easily. He’d come all the way out here, and damn it, they were going to talk! She thrust herself out the window, landing with a thud on the ground… just like… just like the day that Kristin went…

Her heart pounding, she gaped at the tree branches bowing overhead- the perfect Halloween effect, with the full moon glowing in the distance.

Someone grabbed her, and if she hadn’t known that Dan had been out there moments before, she would have screamed.

“Rose, you’ll freeze!” He hissed, tossing a brown, leather jacket over her shoulders. She curled into him, both of them resting behind the bush underneath her window, his arms around her, his breath materializing in the chill air as it caressed her cheek.

Maybe this was wrong… but it felt so good… She lifted her head, smiling softly at his round eyes, which slowly warmed as they traveled along her face. They sat like that while their hearts recovered from the shock of that car horn, the fear that they were about to be caught… and then… he cupped his hand under her jaw, whispering in a barely audible tone, “You’re a beautiful girl, Rebekah.”

Just as her heart picked up again from the complement and her eyes fastened on his full lips, he added, “And I care for you… I care too much.”

Too much? God, she knew that was true, but to hear this… No… “Dan-”

“We need to keep our distance, Rose, do you understand?”

Dragging the air through lungs that would rather cry out in the moonlight, she pulled her knees toward her chest, planting her chin over top of them.

“Believe me,” he rasped, brushing her hair away from her face, his speech becoming more hurried, his voice tripping at times from emotion, “ Believe me, if you were older, I would be all over you. I wouldn’t give you a damn moment’s rest; but you’re only seventeen, and you’re my student! I could go to jail for getting too close, and to be honest, I don’t trust myself as much as I wish I could.”

While the tears reformed, the words played in her head like broken piano chords- too young, student, jail… if she was only older, only older…. But I don’t deserve him… But God forgave me, and I-

“And God knows I don’t want to play around with your heart, Rebekah. I see where this is headed, and we can’t let it go any further.”

Gasping, she lifted her head again. Moisture shimmered in his eyes- the wetness of un-fallen tears which he seemed to be straining to hold back, as his brows pulled together and his lips pursed tightly until he licked him and continued, “I didn’t want to tell you this in email, and I didn’t want to just… not say anything. You deserve to know where I stand. I don’t want you guessing.”

She nodded slightly, wanting to thank him. But how could she thank him for saying what she didn’t want to hear? Not that she hadn’t already thanked him for the other times he’d said things she didn’t want to hear. But this was different… painfully different… And he was right. Every damned thing he’d said was right. “I know…” she managed to whisper. “I…”

He followed her bowing head, both of them lifting at the same time to scout one another’s eyes. “You what?” He prompted.

“I know… I care too much for you, too.”

The strain eased from his expression, and as he inhaled, a tear escaped, which she quickly caught. Eying the wet drop on her finger tip, she wished she could hold it like that forever- a part of Dan Fields, the man who’d made a difference in her life. The man she could never have. Or was ‘never’ an exaggeration? That depended a lot on both of them… a lot of decisions and a lot of…

His warm lips pressed against her forehead. “Thank you for understanding…” he breathed. “It says a lot about you.”

Closing her eyes, smelling his cologne, her hand sliding up a firm bicep, over a thick shoulder to his strong, squared jaw, she wondered if she dared to ask the question that had risen along with the motion of her hand. They’d probably never be in this position again… never have the opportunity, alone in the dark… Clearing her throat quietly, she forced the words out- “One kiss?”

His puffing breath silenced, his hand frozen behind her head. “What?”

“Just one,” she squeaked, her forehead resting against his chin. “That will be all… no more…”

The night air hummed through the trees, frolicking with her hair, sending shivers down her spine. Her teacher cupped his hand under her jaw, prompting her to look up. His finger traced her quivering lips, his eyes saying what he wasn’t voicing as they followed the motion of his finger from one corner of her mouth to the other.

Maybe she was a jerk for requesting that kiss… maybe she should slap herself, let him go, and spend the rest of her night the way she had for the past few months- in tears. If he thought she was a jerk, he wasn’t showing it. His mouth neared hers, hesitating…and then… contact. Goose bumps swept over her body, from her head to her toe.

The first kiss was little more than a brush… but then his tongue swept against hers, his arms pulling her closer as she returned the kiss- firm and wet, and despite the melancholy of the preceding moments, their hearts were knocking together like lunatics beating on a prison door.

But then his mouth strokes slowed, the kiss taking on a deeper, more poignant meaning. This was a goodbye kiss- one that had at first excited them, but now their hearts were sinking back into reality. Still, she could feel it- the longing… the desire to have him in every way. It just seemed so natural for two people who’d already bonded in such emotional, mental, and spiritual ways.

Her fingers explored his thick hair, while he gripped her shoulder firmly, their tongues slow dancing in a swaying sort of motion- back… and forth… their heads bobbing ever so softly.

A goodbye kiss; a goodbye dance. It reminded her of a song she’d heard a number of times on one of the light rock stations…

Tomorrow I must leave, and the dawn knows no reprieve.

God, give me strength when I am leaving.

So lift your hands to heaven and pray.

That we'll be back together someday.

Tonight I need your sweet caress. Hold me in the darkness.

Tonight you'll calm my restlessness. Who'll relieve my sadness?

Oh, God… She deepened her kiss. It wasn’t like they were… in love… Was it?

As we move to embrace. Tears run down your face.

I can't believe this pain. It's driving me insane.

Without your touch I will be lonely.

This was the first time they’d ever touched like this, and perhaps it never should have happened. If it hadn’t happened, then she couldn’t miss his touch, could she?

Suddenly, his lips broke away. Their fluffy breath mingled in the space between them, and her inhale sounded choppy, as sobs threatened to cut loose.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his hands framing her face, his brows twisted in deep regret. “Maybe it would have been better if we hadn’t done that…”

Yeah, she thought. Because now her heart felt like it was in her throat… and she doubted it would retreat any time soon.

“That was a little too nice… and it can’t happen again, Rose.”

Did he really think he needed to reiterate? Did he think she was that careless about the consequences of a serious relationship between them?

Her hands were now clasped inside of his, warm but trembling as he bowed his head and asked, “Are you OK?”

What did he expect her to say? Oh yeah, she’d be peachy keen and a-OK? How was she supposed to face him at school, knowing what had just happened tonight, knowing that she had to keep her distance? How could she… how could she just… how could she just let go? They’d become far too emotional in just a little bit of time… it was insane.

“I’ll be fine,” she said as firmly as she could muster and pulled his jacket off of her back. As she handed it over, he gave her that ‘wounded’ look… like he just couldn’t bear to see her in pain. “Go,” she whispered, “before one of the neighbors see us.”

Not that her neighbors would give a damn. They were too busy partying.

But he shook his head slowly. “Not until your safe inside.”

Was his care for her well-being supposed to make her feel better? Was she ever supposed to… God, this was so mixed up.

She pushed herself up, gazing down at him for a long moment before hoisting her leg over the sill. Ripping her eyes away from him, she lowered the window, thankful that it didn’t announce her business to the world by screeching. Then she waited. Waited to see his broad form rise from the ground and return from what ever direction he’d come. It took at least three minutes, and she knew why… he felt like hell. He was the adult… he was the teacher… he wasn’t supposed to let this happen… supposedly, anyway.

He was only a man, not God, and he knew that. And she was only a girl… a young woman who was… something… maybe in love…

Finally, Dan came to his feet, mask in place- and those damned, white eyes met hers for only a split second before they disappeared. He ran in the direction of the park, fading into the night, and leaving her… with her hands pressed to the glass.

oo

So, anyone care to comment, or am I just writing for myself here? lol