Against the World

A/N: Still shows two women in a relationship. If that's not your thing, keep it moving for now.

Chapter 26: Scratch

Isabel was lying on her sofa with Jasmine lounging on her. They were both sleeping, peaceful breaths quietly escaping both of them. Cassandra was knocked out on the floor and equally asleep. Cassandra groaned and her eyes fluttered open. She realized that she did not want to be on the floor anymore; it was too hard and cold. She yawned and rubbed on eyes as she stood up. She marched over to the couch and crawled on.

Without waking completely up, Isabel and Jasmine made space for Cassandra by moving over. Cassandra ended up partially on Isabel, Jasmine, and the couch. Jasmine wrapped her arm around the child to make sure that she did not fall off of the sofa. Cassandra sighed as she cuddled up into Jasmine.

It was becoming a normal occurrence for them to end up curled up together. It was weird to Cassandra at first because she was not used to snuggling like they were. Sure, she and her mother had no problem being physical, but it was rarely soft or affectionate touching like now. She would not say it out loud, but she liked it and she suspected her mother did too. After all, her mother was allowing it to happen.

Isabel allowed quite a bit when it came to Jasmine, the child noticed. There were hugs and kisses, which Cassandra was not used to seeing at all when it came to her mother. Now, Cassandra knew from experience that her mother would hug and kiss, but her only experience really came from when she used to openly allow her mother to hug and kiss her. Other than that, she was not sure if her mother had ever hugged or kissed a person in her life. Yes, that even included Jason because Cassandra could not remember the last time that she even saw her father, let alone saw him be affectionate with her mother.

She honestly rarely thought about the man at all. Her mother did not mention him anymore. He did not call. She did not know where he was and the child hoped that things stayed that way.

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Jason sighed as he tried to concentrate on his computer screen, but he was having a hard time thanks to the loud conversation a few feet away. He was at work; he was employed in his father’s business, which basically rented things for all sorts of events and occasions. There were small divisions in the one floor office space and each division rented different items; Jason was in the sporting good section where they rented out everything from jet skis to basketball courts.

“Yeah, so, your wife had the baby last night?” one fellow asked another. Jason could not believe that two grown men were having such a conversation; it seemed like something that only women did in his opinion.

“Yeah! The most beautiful baby girl you ever will see!” the second man boasted and it was easy to hear in his voice that he was grinning from ear to ear. He sounded so proud, like he had done the greatest thing in the world by having a baby girl.

“I’d ask if you got pictures, but I know the answer to that. You’ve only been begging for a little girl since you heard you knocked the woman up,” the first guy teased.

“Got my little girl too! She’s the most adorable little thing you ever will see.”

Jason guessed from the brief moment of silence that the new proud father was whipping out pictures of his baby girl. Jason rolled his eyes while wondering what the hell kind of man would want a baby to be a daughter? He poked his head out of his cubicle just to make sure and he found the two men a couple of yards away. And, yes indeed, the new father was flashing pictures of his daughter.

Jason could not see the pictures, but he could see the look of joy on the man’s face. He knew that he did not look like that when Cassandra was born. He did not flash any pictures of his baby girl to any of his friends or teammates ever. Hell, he did not even own any pictures of Cassandra taken on his own. If Isabel did not send him pictures of their daughter, he would not own any pictures.

“Was I ever this happy to hold Cassandra?” Jason wondered while taking in the proud papa’s expression.

Mostly, his memories were full of struggles with Cassandra. He recalled battling with her for Isabel’s attention and affection; he was usually on the losing side. He remembered her disobeying anything that he said, even if it was obviously for her own safety. He recollected her being a horribly spoiled little brat…a brat that he had not seen in months.

“Has it really been that long?” Jason asked himself. His face shifted from an annoyed expression to one of baffled tension. His brow furrowed slightly and his mouth turned upward.

He tried to remember the last time that he saw his daughter and nothing was really coming to mind. He had not spoken to her since the last time he saw her because he never made an effort to call her or Isabel. They never made an effort to call him as far as he knew, so he figured that he might as well return the favor.

“It’s not like they care. I might as well be dead to them,” he grumbled to himself, pouting like an upset child.

He ran a frustrated hand through his hair; for some reason that he could not figure out, he was bothered. It troubled him to hear that proud father gushing over having a baby girl, wanting a baby girl. The guy was still going a few minutes later, wandering the office, showing everyone his pride and joy.

“Why don’t I feel that way about Cassie?” Jason wondered, feeling and looking very confused. He knew instinctively that he was the one that was wrong, not his coworker for being happy to have had a daughter.

He did not have any answers, but the more his coworker flashed pictures, the more Jason felt like the world’s biggest ass. That was helped when his coworker came over to him and started showing the pictures.

“Now, Jason, I know you probably don’t give a damn or anything. I mean, a young guy like you probably doesn’t even have a steady girlfriend, so I know you don’t have any kids. But, you just have to see my baby girl,” the man said and he started going through the thick pile of photos that he was holding.

Jason did not hesitate to look down at the pictures to see a perfect little girl with cocoa skin resting in a grinning father’s arms. The baby was sleeping, but that certainly did not stop her from being the star of several following photos; most of those co-starred the happy poppa. Jason knew that he never looked like that holding Cassandra and that just churned up his insides in a way that he never felt before. Something was wrong, he thought; and that something was him.

“Let me ask you a question,” Jason said after he finished going through the photos. He turned his attention to the older male, who he knew was pretty much a “manly” man. A manly man that was overjoyed to have a daughter…Jason could not understand it.

“Sure,” his coworker answered as he started putting his pictures away since he already hit everyone in his division. Now, the rest of the building was left.

“What made you want a little girl? You got boys or something already?” Jason inquired.

“Nope. Actually, this is my third little girl. I thought most people around here knew that since I’m always flashing pictures of the little beauty queens. I’m not sure why, but I always want a daughter. I wouldn’t mind having a son, of course, but I’m very happy to see my little girls show up. I can’t really explain it, but I very much enjoy having daughters,” he answered as best he could.

Jason pondered that for a moment. He was not sure what possessed him to ask the next question, but it did make it out of his mouth. “You never felt like you don’t want a daughter because you don’t know what to do with her?”

His coworker chuckled, as if that was a good joke. “Hell, I never know what do with my girls after they reach a certain age, but I damn sure never feel like I don’t want them. I love them, even when they drive me crazy. They’re kids, they’re going to make you nuts most of the time. You just push through it. You’ll see when you’re a father. You’ll know just what I mean,” the coworker stated and then he spotted someone who had not seen his adorable baby girl yet, so he rushed after them with the pictures in his hand.

Jason sighed; he felt worse now. Why was it he could not feel the same excitement about Cassandra? He wondered if Isabel’s excitement was something like his coworker’s. She was not one to show her excitement so easily outward, he knew that, but she did show signs of being ready to blow a gasket when their daughter was born, and beyond that. And he had not returned a fraction of that excitement, he realized.

He considered how he would feel if he was excited about something and Isabel showed indifference to it, at best; after all, she could show annoyance or anger toward it, which would make things worse. She had a way of deflating a lot of things for him or pissing him off, like when she stopped going to his football games. Damn it, she missed his whole last season, he recalled with his disdain hardening his face. And then he remembered why she started missing his games.

“She wanted to take care of the baby…” he muttered to himself. He put his head down while shaking it slightly.

Isabel had picked Cassandra over him, Jason remembered. His mind then asked him a strange question: why did he think that Isabel picked the baby over him? Would he feel the same way if Cassandra had been born a boy and Isabel still gushed over the child? He was not sure, but he was leaning toward “no.”

Jason suddenly found himself reaching for his phone. He was not sure what he was doing, but he had the urge to speak with Isabel. He dialed her number from memory and waited patiently for an answer. It only took two rings for someone to pick up and it was not a voice that he recognized.

“Isabel’s madhouse, an escapee speaking,” Jasmine joked. Cassandra was standing next to her, trying to hold back snickers from the weird way that Jasmine answered the phone.

“Uh…” Jason hesitated for a moment. “Where’s Isabel?” he blurted out rather rudely.

“Isabel stepped out for a moment. She should be back in ten minutes. May I ask who’s calling?” Jasmine countered.

“Jason. Could you just tell her that Jason called?” he requested and then he was about to hang up, but he stopped. “Who is this?” he inquired…well, really demanded. He could tell it was not Kat or Ellie, so he could not help wondering who was so familiar with Isabel to be left alone in her home and allowed to touch the phone. It had taken him a long time to gain such a privilege with her.

“I don’t think that’s how this works,” Jasmine teased. “Besides, I told you, I’m an escapee from Isabel’s madhouse.”

Jason growled. “Isabel isn’t going to like that you’re playing on her phone.”

“Well, I have to say the mini-version of her is getting a kick out of it. I’ll let her know you called,” Jasmine stated and then she hung up the phone before Jason could utter another phrase.

“Who was that?” Cassandra asked curiously.

“Some guy named Jason.” Jasmine shrugged; the name held no value to her.

Cassandra immediately frowned at the mention of his name; her face hardened and she looked nothing like a little kid from the stone-cold stare in her eyes. She wondered what the hell he wanted, calling the house and apparently wanting to speak to her mother. She thought that Jason was gone forever and Jasmine was his replacement.

“Come on, kiddo, let’s eat lunch before your mother comes back and hits me with a pot for not feeding you,” Jasmine remarked.

Cassandra followed Jasmine into the kitchen and they had a quiet lunch. They were watching cartoons by the time Isabel returned. Isabel joined them on the sofa, flopping down next to Jasmine. Jasmine immediately curled into Isabel’s solid frame.

“Anything happen while I was out? I see my firefly hasn’t decided to kill you and hide the body yet,” Isabel remarked, speaking to her girlfriend.

“I think I’m safe from that until she can reach the higher shelves. She still needs me until then,” Jasmine quipped. “You did get a phone call while you were out. A rather rude man named Jason called.”

“Jason?” Isabel echoed and her body went stiff for a moment. Jasmine felt it since she was leaning on the street-fighter.

“Who is he?” Jasmine asked curiously.

“He’s my bug’s father. I haven’t heard from him in a really long time,” Isabel answered, eyes focusing on the phone not too far away.

“What do you think he wants?” Jasmine asked, some worry creeping into her voice and in her eyes. She had not thought too much on Cassandra’s father since it did not seem like he was factor in things, but now that she knew he existed, she wondered what type of relationship he had with Isabel and if it was going to be a problem.

“I’m not too sure, but I’m certain it’s nothing to worry about. If it’s something important, he’ll call back.” Isabel shrugged. She had no desire to speak with Jason right now. She was trying to sort out her life and find what made her happy, not confuse herself further with his presence looming about.

“You’re not going to call him back?” Jasmine inquired with a slightly perplexed expression. Cassandra remained looking forward at the television, but she was quite anxious to hear the answer to that question.

“No, I’m not going to call him back. Right now, I just want to relax with you two,” Isabel answered and she kissed the top of Jasmine’s head. She then ruffled her daughter’s hair.

Both Jasmine and Cassandra smiled from that response. They all relaxed on the sofa and sent most of the night as they usually did. The only interruption of the night was the phone ringing. Cassandra rushed to the phone, wanting to see the caller ID and hopefully get her mother to not bother answering it if it was a certain man that she found extremely annoying. The child was not fast enough, though. Isabel grabbed the phone while her daughter growled at her.

“Yeah?” Isabel answered the phone, not really caring who it was on the other end.

“I called earlier. Where were you?” Jason demanded to know.

“The voice sounds familiar, but I can’t place the name or when the fuck you became my owner,” she replied with some bite.

“Same old Isabel. I don’t even know why I bothered to call.”

“That makes two of us. What the fuck did you call for?” she inquired in a short tone. He was certainly not making her miss him with his attitude. She could not believe that he had been on her mind lately considering the way that he was acting right now.

“Who was that woman that answered your phone earlier?”

Isabel paused for a moment and then let her mouth answer without any filter from her brain. “A friend. What’s it to you?” she countered.

“She was rude to me.”

“She says you were rude to her. I’m more inclined to believe her since I’ve seen how you can be.”

“Oh, so you’ll just believe some stranger over me?” he demanded to know.

“Didn’t I just say she’s my friend? That means I know her and you have a problem with your attitude. You’re fucking being rude right now. So, how about you tell me why the hell you called and we get over this? I haven’t heard from you in a long time and it seems like that was blessing,” she remarked in a hard tone.

“Oh, if that’s the case then maybe I’ll never call you again,” he snapped.

“Please, don’t fucking make me any promises you don’t plan to keep. Now, once again, why the hell did you call?”

Jason was ready to keep his little back and forth going with Isabel, but then he realized that he was not going to win by doing that. He was also not getting what he wanted by doing such a thing with her. He took a deep, calming breath before his next sentence.

“I was thinking about you earlier,” he admitted in a composed tone. “I just wanted to talk to you.”

The silence suggested that Isabel was stunned by that information. He smiled to himself, picturing her face all wide-eyed and slack-jawed. He decided that he was going to have to remember the moment and make sure that he remembered what he did.

“You just wanted to talk to me?” she echoed, sounding like she did not understand. She did not understand how he could act the way that he did and then have the nerve to say that he just wanted to talk to her.

“Yes. I was thinking about you and Cassie. So, what’ve you been up to?” he asked curiously. He was surprised to find out that he was seriously interested in not just her, but in Cassandra’s life too. He tried to remember the last time that he saw her or their daughter.

“You’re serious?” she inquired skeptically. She could not recall the last time he seemed to give a damn about her or their daughter, their daughter especially.

“Yes, I’m serious.” His clear, strong voice backed his words.

Isabel was quiet again. She glanced around, wondering if Cassandra or Jasmine was paying her any mind to take note of the change in her demeanor. Cassandra wandered out onto the balcony, undoubtedly beating up the heavy bag out there. Jasmine was in the kitchen, but Isabel did not have a good line of vision on her to know if her girlfriend had noticed her little slip.

“Still, what the hell do you want to talk about? You never wanted to just talk before,” Isabel pointed out. Back when they were a couple, she recalled that she was the one always calling him. She always wondered about that. She had convinced herself that she did not care much about him, but she was the one that was always reaching out when they were apart. Now, she was tired of reaching when she knew that she was only going to be jerked around.

“Like I said, I was thinking about you. I was wondering how you were doing. Maybe we could get together or something. I mean, you, me, and Cassandra, of course,” he proposed, hope sneaking into his voice. God, he realized at that moment that he missed her. He missed her and he missed his daughter.

“No, I can’t get together,” she answered, eyes drifting toward the kitchen. No way in hell was she going to fuck up a rather all right little relationship with Jasmine to go back to all of the anguish and suffering that Jason put her through.

“Why not?” he inquired, sounding shocked that she had turned him down. It was a rare day when she did not want to do something with him, especially if it involved him spending time with Cassandra.

“Jason, I’m going to be honest and blunt with you, like always. I’m seeing someone now. I’ve moved on from you. Cassie likes her and she treats the both of us well,” Isabel explained.

“She?” he echoed, now confused. Why did it sound like Isabel was dating a woman?

“Yes, she. I have a girlfriend. I like her and I like spending time with her. I’m not going to throw it all the fuck away because you missed me for one brief moment or had a daydream that made you think of me,” she informed him in a businesslike manner.

“But, you’re not gay…” he muttered.

“No, I’m not. I like who I like. That’s how I am and how I was raised. I like her and I would rather be with her. I appreciate you calling and thinking of me, but from now on when you call, it should be to speak with our bug and nothing more. I’ve moved on, Jason, and I suggest you do the same,” she said in a very calm and deliberate tone.

“You left me for a woman?” he asked. He was in a daze and could not even fathom being angry or upset. He was just bewildered. Since when did Isabel date women?

“Grow up, Jason, and move on.” Isabel disconnected the call on that.

The raven-haired Amazon knew that she did the right thing there, but there was still a part of her that wondered. Maybe she should have listened to Jason and heard him out. But, then what? Go back to the same thing with him, hating and loving him at the same time, watching him ignore their child, waiting for him to become a man instead of a spoiled brat? She did not have time for that, she mentally insisted. Still, part of her dared to wonder.

“I would ask if I should be worried,” Jasmine commented as she came up behind Isabel and embraced her. She carefully snuggled her face into Isabel’s powerful shoulder while being mindful of the two cups that she was carrying, both of which contained hot tea.

“I’m sure you heard the conversation. There’s nothing for you to worry about,” Isabel assured the younger woman.

Jasmine nodded into Isabel’s shoulder before inhaling her lover’s scent. Isabel removed the mugs from Jasmine’s hands and placed them down on the coffee table. She then turned to sit on the sofa. Jasmine wasted no time curling into the taller woman.

“You know, this was the first time I’ve heard anything about Cassie’s father since I’ve been with you,” Jasmine noted in a low voice.

“There’s nothing really to talk about. He wasn’t ready to have a child and it showed before the firefly was born. He didn’t adjust,” Isabel said bluntly.

“How long were you with him?” Jasmine asked curiously.

“Too long.”

“Can I have numbers this time or do you want to just keep it a secret?” Jasmine teased, smiling a little. She ran her fingers up and down Isabel’s thigh as a way to coax the answer from her.

“I think I was with him from when I was eighteen until a few months ago, but I’m not sure if I would really count it like that. It’s complicated. I mean, our relationship was never really stellar, but after I had the bug and he moved out, things got really strange. We never officially broke up, but I think that we weren’t together then either,” Isabel tried to explain.

Jasmine nodded. “Sounds complex. Do you still have feelings for him?” she asked, now sounding shy and frightened.

“None. I feel nothing toward that man-child. No bitterness, no joy, nothing. I’m with you now and you’re who I want to be with. So, don’t worry about it,” the street-fighter assured her girlfriend and helped ease Jasmine’s nerves with a kiss to her temple.

The caramel-skinned college student smiled. “You’re too sweet. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

“Good. Now, let’s have some of this tea you were kind enough to bring out,” Isabel said while leaning over to reach for the mugs. In her mind, she noted that Jasmine had made her tea more times in one day than Jason ever did during their whole relationship. She was certain that she had made the right decision by telling him to move on.

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Jason stared at his phone in a shocked and confused manner. He did not understand what just happened. It sounded like Isabel had pretty much dumped him and for a woman no less. It did not make any sense to his mind; Isabel was not gay. He had never seen her check out a girl before, but, then again, he had never caught her scoping out a guy either. For everything that they went through, looking back on it, he dared to think that Isabel only had eyes for him when they were together. This thought gave him some hope.

“She couldn’t be serious. I mean, she’s never gone after anyone before. She was with me and that was that, all the time. She was just joking or something like that,” he tried to assure himself. But, he knew that Isabel was not one to joke.

He considered that she might have just lied, but that was not her style. Isabel was blunt and honest to a fault. It was not like her to make something up, even if she was trying to get him to stay away from her. She said what was on her mind.

“So, is she really dating a woman? Does she really want me to move on?” Jason wondered.

As much as he reasoned that was exactly what she was telling him, he was also able to talk himself into believing that she was joking. He was not sure which side to believe. He wanted confirmation, but he was not sure where to get it. He was tempted to call Kat and ask, but he knew that she would say whatever she thought hurt him the most.

He considered calling friends of Isabel, but realized that they never moved in the same circles really. He was not sure who most of her friends were, aside for her sister and Ellie. He frowned and stared at the phone as if the object offended him.

“Do I really know so little about this woman? The woman I know I love? What the hell?” he asked himself. A minor headache was starting to pound at the front of his brain, making him grimace.

Isabel’s words started echoing through his mind: grow up. He liked to think that he had. He had a decent paying job. He was looking forward to getting his own home sometime soon. He felt like he was doing adult things, but listening to her tell him to grow up, he was starting to doubt himself.

“What did she mean by grow up? I am grown. Does she mean grow up and away from her? Was there something else to her words? Maybe I should call her back,” he considered because he just felt more and more confused with everything as he thought about what happened.

Isabel had not seemed completely hostile, he thought. She was willing to speak with him, so she might be willing to do so again if he called back. Maybe she would explain what she meant by grow up, he figured. He stared at his phone, something in the back of his mind telling him that he knew that she would only get upset if he asked her what she meant.

“She told me to grow up. I think this is something that I need to figure out on my own or I do have to let her go,” Jason said to himself.

Despite how cranky Isabel always was, something inside of his was not willing to part with her. He always felt like that, even when he put himself in self-imposed exile, cutting himself off from her. Still, something inside of him identified her as his love and even when they were apart, they did not feel apart to him. She was a part of him. She was under his skin and he liked her there. He was not willing to let that go, no matter how much in it itched to have her under his skin.

“This isn’t over, Iz. I just can’t let it be over,” Jason whispered in a determined voice and a hard look in his eye.

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Next time: Isabel and Jasmine’s relationship hit a few bumps while Kat accidentally breaks into the movie business.