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“Ugly”

Giddy children run through rays of sunlight and puffs of grass
As I watch, hidden behind musty curtains, green like vomit.
I remember once, long ago, I ran through shards of laughing friendship.

Time fades, memories die,
I find my life is but a lie.

Giggling like bubbles, we shared our secrets, the boy next door
With the pouty lips and glittering eyes. Her elbow, bony and playful,
Springs into my ribs as he passes, whistling in happy yellow of sunshine and kisses.

Time fades, memories die,
I find my life is but a lie.

Black and green with envy, I glare at them like a television set,
Hypnotic and repulsive, as they dance and sing of love and rainbow puppies.
Ugly, I cry when I lose my love. Ugly, I laugh when he moves away.

Time fades, memories die,
I find my life is but a lie.

Volcanoes shoot schoolwork into my bedroom, once cozy and safe,
As angels lead him to her once again, angels black with vicious aid.
They laugh in awkward silence but dinner sparks their songs again.

Time fades, memories die,
I find my life is but a lie.

Ugly, I watch her steal my love again, shining in heavenly splendor.
Through the glowing nights they talk while I grunt in maroon and indigo
Sadness, led astray from joy by betrayal, black, greedy, and ugly.

Time fades, memories die,
I find my life is but a lie.

Bells cheer their pure white marriage, blissful in the soaring clouds,
But I wait, ugly, alone, uninvited. Behind my ugly green curtains, I
Watch their children play as they laugh from an open window.

Time fades, memories die,
I find my life is but a lie.

I remember, pink flower petals and sky blue sidewalks ago, when she
Told me “I love him” and childhood clung to her heels; I knew I must
Love him too. Ugly, I wanted her beauty and gained only curtains the color of vomit.

Time fades, memories die,
I find my life is but a lie.