A/N: Wow, that took a long-assed time to write. Here's hoping you enjoy it...

Have you ever loved someone? No, I don't mean that superficial, fake love, the kind which all boils down to physical attraction. I mean real love. The kind which makes you weak in the knees, a love which eats away at your very soul. A love that you would kill for, the kind you would die for... It's this kind of love that, even now, I still hold for her.

We had known each other all our lives. I never wanted anything more than to make her happy. Nothing could outweigh my love for her. Nothing was more important than her. Looking upon her now, you wouldn't know that she was once everything to me. I couldn't believe what I had done.

In our youth, we were inseperable.Not once did we fight, argue, or even bicker. We loved each other. To the amazement of all others, we actually found joy in each other's prescence. I loved her, and knew she felt the same toward me... only, her feelings had yet to reach the same extent as mine.In terms of strength, my love for her would always be unrequited. In her eyes, I would always be her brother, nothing more.

My feelings for her could only be considered sin. I didn't care, matters of the heart cannot be trifled with so easily. It was dirty, forbidden, wrong, but I made my decision. We grew up together, and I forced myself into supression. I was a fool, making a mockery of my own heart under the thin guise of 'protector'. It was a lie. The only one she needed protection from was me. I guarded her from the shame which would no doubt follow my confession. Either way, I'd send myself adrift into a sea of despair.

My heart split in half. I was left with two roads: repression or honesty. The former, I knew was the wiser of the paths. I continued my life, swarmed by forlorn hope. I only wanted her to be happy, my hope was her joy. Anything for her bliss, no matter how much pain I felt.

Naturally, I jumped at my first opportunity to flee. Academics were my escape. After high school, I went as far away as possible to college. The attempt failed. I couldn't forget my feelings. Within a year, I found myself returning with a clear head. I had finally made up my mind; I would tell her everything... If only I had the will to face her.

She had blossomed, even more beautiful than ever before. I was a failure. I failed to be with her, failed to make her happy, and even failed to forget about her. My life became an unending cycle of failure. Everything I did came back to that word: failure. I had to make it stop.Frustration had gotten the better of me. I was so close, and yet so far. It was time for me to take the second path. The path of honesty.

It was mid-afternoon, I crept up to her door. Each step, forced, each movement labored with unbearable intensity. My third attempt at speaking with her, the closest I'd gotten all day. My hand reached up, trembling. It took all the willpower I could muster to make even the lightest of rappings. Soon after, I was graced with her prescence.

"Morning," She answered, unkept from just awakening, her beauty shone through regardless. I was nervous, awkward, words could barely even hope to escape my throat.

"I... love... you..." I mumbled, but was ignored. She only began to walk away. Struggling past me, I caught hold of her arm. With her back to the wall, I gazed into her eyes. They were beautiful, but something was wrong. Deep within them was a look of fear. And beyond that was the source of that emotion- me.

Every frustraton, each moment of despair, everything I had ever dealt with, all poured into human shape. My lips parted, not knowing what to say, I hesitated. Words just wouldn't come, so I repeated myself. "I... love... you..." No other words existed in my mind.

"Wh- wha... I..." she began to speak, but I silenced her with my index finger, pressing against her soft, beautiful lips. Lips which I've dreamt of parting all my life.

"Shh!" I proceded to explain to her my ordeal. "For as long as I've known you, I've lovedyou. Not as a sibling, nor as a friend..." I paused, gathering my thoughts. "I... love you." My words were water in stream, unending, uninterrupted. I told her everything, but something was wrong.

Instead of the loving relief amd acceptyance I had hoped for, her face was plastered with a look of horror. A feeling of dread hit the bottom of my stomach. One last obstacle stood in my way; one thing which needed to be saidf. With my feelings bared, I needed to know if she felt the same.

"Will you... no. Could you love me, too?"

It was a simple question, but she offered me no answer. I asked again...

Nothing.

Her silence was the final straw. All of my love and affection were reconfigured into pure, unmitigated rage. My body moved on its own accord, becoming more forceful. "I love you, and only ask that you feel the same. If you cannot, then at the very least, grant me the courtesy of rejection..."

She remained silent, continuing to mock me. Her body tensed, pushing herself further away, but not responding. My pupils dialiated, sweat dripped from every pore. I had lost any sense of intellegence. I was a primal beast, driven solely by emotion. Rage took hold of my fragile constitution, and my anger took hold of her fragile body. My mind surrendered to this anger, and I fell into a trance. Upon awakening, I found myself staring down upon what my madness had wrought.

My beloved was no longer within this world. She had been taken from me, stolen by my own wrathful hand. Tears welled in my eyes at the sight of it.

Her body retained the warmth of the living; I couldn't believe the spirit had left the body. My pide had left me, following her spirit in tandem. With nothing left within me, I proceeded to act as an animal... I took the most valuable thing... I stole knowledge of her flesh.

Upon finishing, I wept. I cried for the death of my innocence as well as my beloved. I cried as I prepared to join them.

A leather belt, given to me as a gift... a gift from her of all people... that was the tool ofmy demise. The irony, a gift from her to end my worthless life... My fce was forcedinto a smirk, as I stood over her now cold, naked and lifeless body. I thrust my head through the loop. My eyes shut tight as I held my last breath.

A voice called out to me, but it was much too late. I had already given in to the appropriatley named lover's leap, welcoming me into death's sweet embrace.

My body drooped, swinging delicatley over that of my beloved. Simultaneously, I could feel my spirit become disjointed from my body. I was finally given that which I had sought for years. In death, we were finally able to be together. Only now, could we truly be as we should, together, and in love... She and I, bound together for all eterinity...

She and I, myself andthe one I love. Me and my beloved.