First Love

I hate that longing...
that comes into my heart
once in awhile.
a daily reminder that i'll never have
a relationship.
a real one.
not filled with lust and drugs.
i wish, i could jusssstttt
remember guys that i actually knew and liked
instead of drugged out strangers with no names.
kisses filled to fulfill curiousity
and not nervous shy crush ones.
i still have one or two tears
that leak out.
you all say wait...
don't you think i've waited long enough.
do you think it's easy to see your taken friends
and not feel jealous.
i'm alright...
i'm alright...
i'll get over it.
hahaha keep waiting.
and waiting...
till my heart decays.

Our Blood

Why...
How could you disapoint me.
You put us all in suffering.
Tears of grief, confusion.
While you only made yourself suffer even more.
Blood coming down your poor wrists.
Masochist.
You did nothing to deserve any treatment
that your inflicting on yourself.
So why..
Do you think its good enough to do this because
its takes the pain away...
When you know...you've known forever, that
it only leads to more pain.
Its a vicious cycle, like meth.
So...why can't you stop...
Why did we have to send you for help.
Can't you just look at yourself.
If it really made you feel alive
then you would of seen the horror in
cutting your skin, you.
Then one day, you keep cutting deeper
deeper...see the veins...cut
Gone.
You could of have had a chance to break from it.
It's too late.
You can never erase those scars.
Both inside and out.
Fine, keep drowning in your self pity and misery.
I'm not mean, its the truth.
Talk to me and I'll listen or
talk to you, figure it out please.
Please...