Disclaimer: Okay people, this is intended as a PARODY do not be offended. You have been forewarned and to read on without heeding my warning would be quite idiotic. ANd do not worry I am not calling you idiotic.

Summary: This story parodies life and fiction alike. No one I know of is spared, no prisoners taken. I will make fun of everything I think I should. If I do not get to your favorite cliche or am otherwise unable to make you relate, please give me time and I should hope I get to it all.

I shall be writing several smaller stories on this and will at some point create a C2. For now however, the stories will be done chapter by chapter here, when the story changes, the title above the chapter number will as well.

ENJOY! And remember reviews are love!

Sophie

Chapter 1: My Own Personal Angst Fest

The rain slanted against the apartment windows, the thunder and lightening aggravating my already emotionally imbalanced perception of the world. The city beyond the window show cased in the lightning flash ans its usual neon lights.

“Angst! Angst! Angst!” I slammed my head against the table in time with my Angst chant. Quite certain that the world was full of idiots and they were all out too make my life miserable. I giggled then…Hehehe…ANGST! I guess you’re wondering what I’ve been smoking…but I haven’t I swear! I was just holding onto Lindsay Lohan’s cocaine and then I got arrested! Just kidding, well my boyfriend just dumped me for my friend Charlie…yeah…I, the beautiful social outcast with few friends, had a boyfriend! SHOCKER But I digress …David left me for Charles and they are now this small towns juiciest tidbit of gossip! How did I cope with my ability to turn a gorgeous college sophomore gay? I bought a large container of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, and sat at my computer watching Potter Puppet Pals…But honestly, Harry Potter has nothing to whine about! He saves the damn day! I on the other hand have a dark angsty rain cloud of DOOM hovering over my head!

It would seem to most that I am being needlessly angsty and dramatic, but alas this is not so! If it weren’t for the fact that I am almost as beautiful as my mother, I’d think that men turned gay at the mere thought of kissing me! ( I do hope everyone’s sarcasm detectors are in good working order for this next part at least)According to my dear, dear friends that only one out of four guys I date, realize while dating me that they are in fact homosexuals…which has a distinctly depressing effect on one’s emotions. In my twenty-two years, I have dated twelve men, four of which are now living with their significant others. The rest? They ALL managed to find an ugly little tramp with whom to cheat on me, all because I would not sacrifice myself so that they might satisfy their lust. A reasonable decision in the eyes of most women I know, but one held as unnatural and wrong by most males. Then what do these cheaters do? Why they have the audacity to ask if we might still be friends.

I am, and apparently always will be “Just a friend.”

But maybe, just maybe, Mistress Fate has someone for me. And by all that is chocolaty I will find him or my name isn’t Sophia Elizabeth Worthington

-Muse-