Chapter One.

The smell of dry air woke Maria, as she rubbed her eyes. For a moment, she almost felt the still form of Codie beside her as she rolled in place upon the soft bed. She remembered where she was then, as she reached out across the single bed to touch the thickly plastered wall of her dorm room. How could she forget this wondrous place, even for a minute?

Maria hadn’t meant to nap during her homework time, but her eyes had fallen shut somewhere during her reading and she’d fallen fast asleep. A tear still lay on her short lashes as she remembered the dream she’d had---the flashback of the life she’d had to live before coming to this new boarding school. How different things had been since her arrival, for now she had more than one friend who cared for her. Even the teachers seemed to like her, though Maria couldn’t help but wonder if things would be different if Codie were here.

“Maria? Are you awake?” Kursten asked as she entered the room with her long skinny cane in hand.

“I had the most awful dream, Kursten. I dreamed I was back at Chaplynn School, with Codie!” Maria told her best friend quietly, as she wiped at another tear.

“I dreamed I was twelve again. God, I hated those years.” Kursten said just as quietly, as Maria’s mouth dropped.

Her eyes threatened to overflow, as she mentally punched herself. She’d brought Kursten’s past back to her along with her own, and for some reason had no way to stop this from happening to her. Since she’d been a tiny little girl, she’d known she’d had uncanny gifts that were different from other people.

Maria could still remember the first time she’d ever known she was abnormal, and the memory made her shudder with dread. How afraid she’d been to know there was something she could do that others couldn’t even dream of, and how she hated the way her mother dismissed it as she had. Maria had needed her mother that day, and her mother had brushed her aside like some lost garbage she couldn’t bear to face yet.

“What are you thinking, Maria? It’s time to go, if you want to go swimming. Don’t you want to use the pool?” Kursten asked, bringing Maria back with great effort to the present.

The pool sounded so wonderful, Maria thought with a smile as she sat up. It was already the second week of school, and she had yet to use the big pool. She didn’t have to wonder why this was, as she’d spent her first week unable to do anything but homework and socialize. She’d been having her time of Moon, and had been thus prevented from the pleasures of swimming. Thank goodness that part of her month was over.

“I’m on my way.” Maria told Kursten at last, as she pulled her swimsuit underneath her blue shirt and red pants.

Giggling and talking quietly together, Maria and Kursten made their way across the campus to the gym. It was a warm September evening, and Maria could feel her hair sticking to her scalp as she walked still further and finally into the crowded locker room. There was nothing she wanted more than to hurry out of her clothes and into the cool pool.

“Excuse me.” A voice pardoned from beside her, as someone opened the locker next to her P.E. locker.

Maria looked over briefly, and dropped the pair of shoes she’d been attempting to drop into her locker. Standing beside her with blazing blue green eyes and short brown hair, was the person she’d never expected to see. A pair of clothes lay folded in those outstretched arms, and Maria felt the shock that only comes when one has been stunned by the most unexpected of happenings. Quickly, she opened her mouth to give the pardon the person beside her had wished for.

“Don’t worry Abraham.”

The figure beside her stopped short, and looked at Maria as though she might jump up and bite it. The round face contorted in fear, then turned to complete wonder as the green eyes found Maria’s face. A smile crossed Maria’s face, at the utter senselessness of her actions. Girls weren’t allowed to share their locker room with the boys, so why did the figure before her resemble that boy she’d seen in her mind so often?

“What did you say?” The figure asked, the voice unnaturally high and squeaky as it rose still further.

“I---I’m so soggy! What I meant was, it’s all right. You didn’t bum me.” Maria stammered as what must be a girl looked upon her.

“That’s not what you said. You called me Abraham.” The girl said quietly, as she continued to study Maria.

“You ready? I hear little Whitney Alicin is wanting to swim as well.” Kursten said as she approached Maria’s locker.

“What a little sweetheart! I’ll help her around the pool.” Maria told her friend, glad for the distraction.

Before the girl could speak further with Maria, she had gone away and slammed her locker closed behind her. Her face stung with the embarrassment of what she’d just done, and yet the mistake made no sense to her. She’d had troubles with her gift all her life, but this was ridiculous! How had it shown her a man where there was none? Why couldn’t she have been born a normal baby like everyone else?

Wiping furiously at her face in case the tears began to fall, Maria wandered over to the corner locker where Whitney Alicin struggled with her swimsuit. Her wheelchair seemed to be in the way at the moment, and Maria felt a pang of sadness for the girl who’d had her life changed forever by a vehicle wreck six years ago. Now Whitney was nine years old, and she’d never be able to run again like the other children.

“Let me help you, Whitney. I’ll move the chair, and together we’ll get the naughty swimsuit to go on properly.” Maria offered as she moved the chair away.

“Who are you? I know you?” Whitney asked softly, as Maria pushed the wheelchair aside and walked slowly to the smaller girl.

“No, but I see you everyday. Hold on to me now, and I’ll help lift you. That’s a girl.” Maria said encouragingly as she gently moved Whitney’s legs into the holes of the suit and pulled it up to the girl’s shoulders.

“What are you doing?” The voice of a teacher asked accusingly, as Whitney was pulled from Maria’s shoulders.

“I was---I was---helping---“

“It’s not appropriate to touch your piers like that, Maria Liara. You should know better than to try and take advantage of a girl who can’t defend herself.” The teacher snapped, as Maria’s face reddened once again.

“I most certainly was not trying to take advantage of Whitney! I was trying to help her---“

“I don’t want to hear it, Maria! I’m contacting your dorm parents over this.” The teacher told her angrily, as she handled Whitney none too gently.

“You don’t understand! I was----“

“I understand perfectly well. You tried to take advantage of a girl who can’t walk.” The teacher stated as she stood to leave.

“No!”

With a crash that thundered loudly around the locker room, one of the rows of lockers teetered dangerously before flipping onto its side. Lockers popped open all along the rows, and Maria felt a dull thumping behind her skull. She had caused this catastrophe, and the teacher had to know it. As she’d feared, Maria had lost control of her gift again, and now they’d turn her in for experimentation as her mother had feared long ago.

“I’m---I’m so soggy!” Maria said in a quiet quivering voice that carried across the locker room as though she’d shouted the words.

“Don’t be sorry, just don’t do it again. Go out to the pool now, so I can stand these lockers up again.” The teacher told her, as a look of relief crossed Maria’s face.

Maria had the distinct impression she and the teacher had been on different subjects, but wisely said nothing as she walked out to the pool. It had been a near miss in that locker room, and if the teacher had been paying attention to her face, she might have known Maria had been the cause of such mishaps. If there was one thing she hated most in the entire world, it was that curse she had that plagued her with mishaps such as that incident in the girls’ locker room.

“Where were you? I waited for you.” Kursten told Maria as she found her best friend seated patiently beside the water.

“I tried to help Whitney get ready. She’s such a darling of a child, don’t you think? Oh Kursten, don’t you want children? I know we’re only thirteen, but wouldn’t it just be great?” Maria asked, her heart lodged inside of her throat as she looked at her best friend of three years.

“It would be cool! To be the mothers we never had. I wouldn’t drink and beat my daughter like my mother does, and you wouldn’t run out on yours. How would we do it? Our fathers would just make sure we couldn’t keep ours.” Kursten said bitterly, the light in her eyes dimming as she realized the implications.

“We wouldn’t let them, Kursten.” Maria replied fiercely. “We’ll run far away together as soon as we’re pregnant. We’ll find our own way in life, and we’ll earn enough money to raise our babies happily. I know we can do it!”

Kursten looked into the face of her best friend, and Maria smiled encouragingly though she knew Kursten couldn’t see it. She could clearly see the wheels spinning in Kursten’s head, and knew the girl was on her side. What were friends, if not willing to go the distance together?

“We’re missing something, Maria.” Kursten said seriously.

“Don’t tell me it’s a place to go. We can stay here and tell nobody we’re pregnant at first. Kursten, they don’t have to know.” Maria said hopefully, refusing to allow this new light to die so soon.

“No! We just need men! How do we get pregnant without sleeping with somebody?” Kursten asked, the smile breaking across her face.

Maria looked about the pool, a look of concentration crossing her face. The school had little to brag of when it came to men. Most of the men there were slow minded and not interested in taking any girl, but she knew there were a scant few she could use for the purpose. What else were they good for?

A boy in the grade just below hers passed her by then, but Maria didn’t need that one. He was too young to properly produce children, and the one behind him had bad genes. That brown haired boy across the pool would have been perfect, if he didn’t already have a girlfriend. How hard was this going to be, finding a man to use as they would, and then ditch once they received the right results.

It really wouldn’t be too hard to get the men to do as they wished, Maria was confident of this. They’d both be gaining---the man would be getting what he desired from the girls, and the girls in turn would be getting what they desired most. It would be a win win situation for all involved, and more than any boy could ask for. What boy would want to be tied down with a woman and children?

“Earth to Maria! Come back to Earth, Maria.” Kursten said, slipping into the pool as the teacher gave her a dirty look.’ “I’m soggy, Kursten. I do not think either of these will do.” Maria said softly, dropping into the water beside her.

“So, what do we do? Your sister and father watch you like a hawk, and besides you live out in the woods. There’s nobody for miles and miles.” Kursten declared, her smile evident.

“Give me a month, Kursten. Give me that month, and I shall be pregnant.” Maria told her, as she closed her eyes and sank fully into the depths of the water.

The man would have to smell clean, Maria thought to herself as she swam the laps in the barricaded section of the water. He could not have that impure smell most had, even some virgin men. While theirs might be cleaner than the men with experience, they were not clean enough for her.

Maria gasped suddenly, as the tears sprang to her eyes. Grabbing a nearby floating raft, she pulled it upside down and over her head and grasped the sides with her hands. Nobody in the world must see the weakness tears brought to her. They must not see her cry, especially with tears of horror for herself.

When had she become such a monster? Had it been when Shawn and Logan had loved her sister Cody and never looked at her though her heart longed to be seen? Had it been even sooner, when the man she’d loved for three years had declared love for Cody in front of the entire school, and she’d accepted him as a dare? How long had she been heartless, allowing her gift to run rampant with the knowledge men were impure and imperfect?

Quietly sobbing beneath the upturned boat raft, Maria knew she hated herself entirely. She was the kind of person she’d seen in her nightmares now, and knew not how she could go back to the human being she once had been. If only there could be a way to damn this gift---to rid herself of it for once and for all.

“I hate you. I hate you so much it hurts.” Maria sobbed, speaking to her gift in general.

“Is that so nice to say to yourself?” A voice asked, startling her so that she banged her head against the rubber top of the boat.

A man Maria had never seen before had slipped beneath the rubber sides of the boat, and now stared at her as he held the top outside with both hands. Maria felt the redness cross her face even before she could look the man in his face. How dare him intrude upon her privacy?

“What do you want?” She asked angrily, as she placed her hatred of her gift deep inside of her.

“I wanted to know if you were all right. So, are you all right?” He asked her as he looked into her eyes.

Maria knew his type. She’d seen them often enough, and she hated them all. These were the type she’d grown to like, and the type who loved her sister instead. She wouldn’t let herself fall at any time, with this one. She’d be strong this time.

“Sizing me up?” The man asked, his brilliant blue eyes shining with amusement.

“Leave me be. I haven’t the time for you. Not now, and not ever.” Maria told him in her most businesslike tones.

“Outchee. Barely known me a minute, and already hate me. You’re not the first and you won’t be the last. So, what’s your name?” The man asked, as his short straight black hair caught her attention, plastered as it was to his abnormally large head.

“Maria. And your name is Idiot. So, leave me alone, Idiot.” She shot back, feeling the beginnings of the lightheaded dizziness that came with lack of fresh air.

“Let me show you what I mean. My name is Nicholas Adams. And you would be?” The man asked, moving the long legs attached to his tall and slender body smoothly through the water.

“Maria Rogers. Now leave me be!” Maria spoke sharply now, her eyes blazing as she glared.

“Maria Rogers. I think I’ve heard of you. You came from that tiny little town three hundred miles north of here. So, nice to meet you.” The man told her, smiling as he tried to take her hand.

Maria felt her head growing steadily warmer, and tried to control the rising panic within her. It was a constant fight to keep her curse under control---a fight she lost most of the time. She’d be damned if she’d lose this fight. This man would not make her lose control of her curse, in a million trillion years.

Giving him one last glare, Maria slipped beneath the side of the boat and into the wide pool. Dodging what she knew was his outstretched hand, she swam smoothly and easily to the side of the pool and allowed her slender figure to rest beneath the surface. If only she could---but she should not and knew this well.

Seeing the man edging from beneath the boat, Maria grasped one of the heavy rubber weights from the side of the pool and released the wall. She’d fought it knowing she shouldn’t try this, but he’d have caught her easily as he was so much larger than she, and she didn’t want to see him. She’d just wait here at the bottom of the pool till the people had gone away.

With a thud just audible to her ears, Maria’s feet hit the bottom of the pool. The water was so very peaceful down here, with the hill that rolled to the deepest parts, rolling softly into her eardrums as she sat upon the floor. Raising her head, Maria slowly exhaled the air from her lungs, and lay down on the floor. It wouldn’t be long now, she thought as she felt the warmth spread through her head once again.

It was hard to breathe down here, but every hard-earned breath was worth it. One hand had caught the bubble of air she’d allowed to escape her lungs, and she pulled the breath in and out of her lungs again and again as she recycled the air she’d held. It was a temporary fix, and would only last her about three to four minutes at most, but it was worth it. He’d forget her by the time she surfaced for air, probably assuming she’d gone home for the evening.

How dreamlike was the water when she could hear none of the activity above. The world was only ten feet above her, but in this watery depth it seemed so much further. Down here, her curse did not matter to her, and it could harm none. As she lay here beneath the chlorinated waters, she wondered what it might be like to drown and be no more to the Earth.

She imagined it would be difficult to die, though death would have been almost a blessing to her. Free would she be from the curse she endured every day, and free would her father and sister be from raising such a freak. If anything, Cody deserved at least that much.

The burning began to fill her lungs, and she knew she should go for air soon. She could wait a moment, she thought as she playfully splashed the water across her face. She’d at least two more minutes before she’d begin feeling the dizziness. She’d stay here in the seclusion of her watery world until then, and enjoy the peace and quiet it offered her.

A distant wave caught her ears then, and she knew somebody had just jumped into the water directly above her head. They jumped right on top of me, she thought as she smiled. Too bad I’ll never feel that affect. I wonder if they even know they jumped right on my stomach?

Laughing the last of her air away, Maria stood on trembling legs and fumbled for the wall. Finding it close to her, she held the brick in one hand and kicked from the floor with the other. She rose easily from it, and in a few short seconds she broke the surface with a soft little splash that sent ripples down all round her.

The surface waters were quiet now, and from a distance Maria saw the long silvery hair of the life guard as she surfaced. The look of sheer terror that had crossed the elderly lady’s face brought alarm to Maria, and for a long moment she wondered if somebody had not surfaced. Had there ever been a death in this pool? But there had, and she knew there had. She could see the spirits of children old and young, and two old men as they swam lazily around the water.

“Maria! There you are!” The woman cried as she swam wildly for her.

“What?” Maria asked in confusion as she felt the guard seize her.

“You’re alive! We all thought---“ The woman told her frantically as she squeezed her.

“Oh my! I’m just fine, Miss Lunivon.” Maria told the woman, as she saw a tear trickle down the woman’s face.

A haze of shock registered within Maria’s brain, as she watched the tear fall. Nobody had ever cared for her, let alone cried. She had heard Cody crying many a night while they shared their bed and her sister had believed her sound asleep, but Maria guessed that was because she felt trapped. How many other girls had to raise their freak sisters?

“Oh Miss Lunivon, I’m fine. Really I am!” Maria assured her, as she crawled out of the pool.

“You’ve mighty long times between breaths, Maria Rogers. Go now, and dress up. I commend your diving abilities.” Miss Lunivon told her, the woman’s voice trembling ever so slightly as she shakily followed the girl from the pool.

“Miss Lunivon, are you all right? I didn’t mean to frighten you if I did.” Maria said as she hugged the woman.

“I’m fine. Go now and dress for home. The pool closed over an hour ago.” Miss Lunivon told her, as Maria felt the breath leave her body.

Hours later, Maria lay awake in her bed. The time had long passed for her to be sleeping, but still she held the novel she had been reading upon her slender lap. The events of the evening played again and again within her mind, and she wondered how long she had remained beneath the surface of the water. Things weren’t right with her curse, and now Kursten suspected something unnatural was afoot with her.

“Tell me the truth, Maria Rogers. They didn’t have to keep their voices down tonight, when they talked about you. Miss Lunivon told Darcy you were under the water for two hours. They called in the fucking searchers, Maria.” She had said, sounding near to panic as she lay beside Maria.

“I couldn’t have been under the water that long. Come on Kursten, that’s impossible. Three minutes maybe, but never two hours.” Maria lied, her temper rising with the words her best friend had said.

Kursten had not pushed the subject, but her words burned into Maria’s mind the rest of the night. Searchers hadn’t been something Maria had known of, but the fact that they’d been called for her had never been something anyone had ever done for her. Only once when she’d disappeared could Maria have remembered searchers coming for her, but then Maria had been angry with her father for forgetting her so completely.

She could remember well that night this last summer, when he’d decided to spoil her sister Cody for graduating Middle School. In his agreement to her, he’d promised to buy alcohol for Cody and her friends, if they should come up with the money. How Maria had hated alcohol.

Cody had found five or so friends to join her at her party at the local pond, and Maria had joined them for a time before growing too cold. After offers of alcohol from her sister, Maria had gone home to call a friend. Instead she had found the telephone number of some group in church who were playing a game of Christians and Communists, and they’d invited her to attend. This had been the first time Maria had been invited to attend any gathering without her sister, and she’d agreed wholeheartedly.

She had told her drunken father then that she was to attend the group, and had given him the number where to find her. He’d wished her luck, and she’d gone to spend a fun-filled night away from home with the group of people. It had been the most fun she’d had in years, and the first time she’d stayed the night away from home since she’d was eleven. She hated her father for ruining that experience for her, especially since he’d allowed Cody to go wherever she liked, for as long as she liked.

Sighing deeply, Maria turned her head toward the wall and laid her novel aside at last. If she was to go on with her life and finally have the baby she wanted so desperately, she’d have to rid herself of the hate and anger she carried. She’d not allow her feelings to carry into her pregnancy and attach themselves to the unborn and innocent child. She didn’t have time to harbor them any longer, and still she wondered how she’d rid herself of the feelings and emotions she’d held all these years.

“Maria, it’s time to get up! We’ll miss the showers if we don’t hurry.” Kursten told her as the door to her single bedroom burst open.

A gasp came from the girl, as she stared at the robot head clock that adorned her desk. It read five AM now, the time she was to wake for school. Had she really been awake all night? How was she to get through the school day without having rested the night before? She’d not be able to concentrate on her work if she hadn’t rested.

“It’s not time yet!” Maria whined as she pressed the clock.

To her astonishment, the clock cheerfully spoke Five AM and she felt her heart sink into her stomach as she sat slowly up. She could already hear the bathwater running and knew the tub had been taken. For her negligence, she’d lost the tub and would not even be allowed relaxation before her trying day at school. Even the showers would be cold, if she didn’t hurry.

“Believe me now?” Kursten asked, as though to slam the point into place.

A sigh was all the young girl allowed to slip from her red lips, as she rose slowly. Pulling the covers over the bed and tucking tem neatly beneath the board, Maria hurried to her closet to pick her clothes out. By six-thirty, boys would be allowed into the dorm to see the girls and she’d have no part of their seeing her with immodest clothes.

Finding what she’d wear at last, Maria hung the clothes over the chair in the bathroom and climbed into the stall. The sound of somebody singing reached her from the bathtub across the way, the voice angelic in its purity and simplicity. Whitney had taken the bathtub, and Maria smiled as she started the warm water flowing. Sweet baby girl, she’d give the bath for her any day.