There are two things
in this life that I am
certain upon.
Jam is good,
and scones are
heavenly.

I would like to take
the hand of the man
(or woman)
who suggested that
these delicacies
should go together.

Mr (or Miss) your
idea was divine,
you should be
honoured the world over,
a plaque upon every
wall, a jar of jam in every home.

We will overthrow
the evils of 'low fat'
and 'low sugar'.
Give me jam,
give me scones!
Give me heaven!

Our battle cry of "no!"
as we march through
the supermarkets,
liberating the tastes of a nation,
pausing only to comfort
our fallen companions.

We will call forreinforcements from
clotted cream and ice cream.
We will tear through the
battlements, and crush
our enemies.

Once the battle is over,
we will lick our wounds
and comfort our stomachs
with the magical healing
powers of jam, scones,
clotted cream and
ice cream soda.

There are two things
in this life that I am
certain upon.
Jam is good,
and scones are
heavenly.