NoteThis is also posted at my DeviantArt by the same name pen name just with dashes.

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Passion

By Otaku Sage of Llamas

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pas-sion

4b: intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction

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You lack passion!

I can just imagine the voice in my head saying that to me.

When was the last time that I drew something and didn't rip it up in the end?

The once colorful fulfill posters that covered my wall in joy are now gone from existence. The walls are bare.

When have I started writing a tale and not finish it because I lacked the motivation to do so?

It's like I am drowning under the powerful waves of the ocean. Struggling against the current in a vain attempt to reach the surface once more.

But the surface doesn't come. No, I am sinking further into the deepest depths of the ocean.

Or it's like trying to fly with broken wings. You see everyone up in the sky spreading their smiles of happiness.

But here I am stuck on this dreadful earth with nowhere to go.

My once vivid imagination has taken a wrong turn and leaves me alone with reality.

I don't want to face my reality.

Anxiety. Sadness. Disappointment.

What's driving me now?

I have wasted enough time in art and got nowhere. And writing English literature is my Achilles' heel.

I am envious of those that can draw to awe their viewers and authors that captivate their audience. Because, I can't.

The shadows are steadily overtaking the earth. The sun is not in sight to those abandoned on this solid earth.

I try harder to fly. I gain momentum and jump with all my might. Then gravity works its magic and next thing I know I am on my rear.

I look back at these broken wings. No, they won't take me anywhere. They can't even carry me to the top of a tree.

But I will not give up.

I get back up on my own two feet and try again.

This time, the voice in my head echoes:

Don't give up! Keep trying!

But disappointment comes again when I find myself familiar with the ground once more.

My hands shake. Tears are threatening to fall down my face. This failure is unbearable.

Puddles began to form around my body and I look up to notice that it is not my tears. The blackened sky has started to weep too.

For the rest of the day, I stay on that same spot on the ground and allow the rain to cleanse my body.

Maybe tomorrow I will try again even though I already know what the result will be.

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The next day, I awaken in a place that I did not recognize.

Sheets are wrapped around my body that are now clothed in silk pajamas rather than the horrid brown dress I was wearing.

The bed is soft. Unlike the hard surface of the earth.

As I move to leave this comfortable bed, another person makes there entrance into this sober bedroom.

A woman in her mid twenties that was shocked to find me awake. Her honey colored hair reached past her shoulders. Warm, jade eyes looked towards my own harsh blue eyes.

“Oh, you are awake. I made you breakfast.” She indicated the silver tray that she held in her hands. There was eggs, toast, sausage, bacon, and orange juice. All I could ever want.

I reluctantly accepted the tray and took a vicious bite out of the toast as if I was a starved man.

“You really shouldn’t be lying outside when it’s raining. You can get sick that way.” I merely grunted. I was too busy eating my meal to care what she was saying.

As soon as I was done, I stood up to leave. But that woman tried to stop me,

“Where are you going? It’s still raining!” She grabbed my wrist gently pulling me back to the bed.

“I don’t care whether it’s raining or if there’s a hurricane out there.” I manage to yank away my wrist from her grasp.

“Just leave me be!” I stormed out back into the outside world.

It was the same as I last saw it. That sky was still there to taunt me with its dark aura. The rain was still pouring down without any care in the world.

This was not the appropriate weather to try to fly in. No matter, I will try anyways.

I will try so that I can say to myself that I did not try to do nothing to change my predicament.

I will forever fight against my own fate.

Even if I only fail in the end.

I can’t just sit around and do nothing about it.

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And so, I try to fly once again.

But now, I find myself above a cliff. How stupid of me to not check my surroundings before trying to fly!

And again, gravity is working against me.

I am falling…falling…

Ground level is no longer in sight.

And now there is nothing but darkness.

I am numb.

Where am I now?

Then my eyes are blinded by a shining light.

I open my eyes and find myself in a town filled with white. There’s no darkness here. That’s comforting.

I am greeted by yet another figure. However, this time she has a full set of wings.

“Hello, Akito.” I was shocked that she knew my name when I had not told her.

“Where am I?”

“You are free.” What a strange response…

“Just take a look at your wings.” I turn my head and find that my wings were no longer broken. Instead, they were complete. My heart lifted.

“You are free to fly wherever you wish to go.”

This was the greatest gift that someone could ever give to me.

And I won’t let this gift go to waste either.

From this day, I am reborn with a heart filled with passion once again.