( C r a z y G l u e )
chapter one

If this was a cheesy story, I'd say "I heart him." And, since it is a cheesy story, I guess that's what I'll say. I heart him. I think I heart him more than I heart crazy glue. Which is hard to come by, because the whole damn world hearts crazy glue. He was just special.

There was a point in time that, had he walked by me, I would've forgotten how to breathe. But not anymore. Not after years and years of disciplining myself in the art of AIR.

"...Callum... You're turning a shade of bluish-purple that brings out those bright green eyes of your's." ...I really should've trained more vigorously when I was learning how to breathe around him.

"..." I took a breath that was too deep and choked on air, stumbling over my own limbs, which were long. I was tall, and not in a good way. I was so freakishly tall that I had to duck to make it through some doorways.

Also, before you get confused, I'm Callum. Yes, that is a boys' name. Yes, my mom was drugged up on pain pills when she wrote it on my birth certificate. Seriously. They'd planned on naming me Emily, but give my mom a pen while she's on any type of medication and who knows what she's gonna write.

Back to reality. In which he was staring at me strangely while I choked on nothing. I felt myself blush slightly, and Brooke patted me on my back consolingly as he left the room. I sighed. I'm sure that left him feeling like I was a normal person who would be a great girlfriend.

I thought it couldn't get worse. I thought that, maybe, the Gods would not rain misery down upon my soul. And I was wrong. My cell phone rang, playing the My Little Pony theme song, and, while it made me look like a jackass-idiot, that wasn't the worst part. Oh, no. Gods are more vindictive than that. I closed my eyes, and prayed to every God I could think of that it wouldn't be her.

But it was. It was my mom. The mom that I hadn't seen in months that wanted to spend quality time with me after the divorce... She just didn't get why I'd chosen to live with my dad instead of her. I smashed my head into the lunch table, long dark blonde hair lashing at random things.

I stared at it with desperation while Brooke held back a chortle, grey eyes shining mischievously and she offered me no help. Boy, she had a gruesome sense of humor.

I answered, looking like even more of a jackass-idiot for talking on my cell phone while eating my lunch. Or maybe I looked like a business person, but I doubt it, because most business people don't have a My Little Pony ring tone.

“...” I closed my eyes tight and answered. “Hello?”

“Hi!” I could hear the perky smile in her voice and shot a look of despair at Brooke who widened her eyes innocently and started up a conversation with Phoebe who was twirling a strand of ebony hair around her finger. I'm pretty sure they were talking about llamas.

“Hi, mom.”

“So... Are we still on for this weekend?”

I narrowed my eyes and saw a flash of white as I attempted to calm the beast that was my anger. “When did I agree to go anywhere with you this weekend in the first place? Maybe I have other plans!” I'm not sure, but I think some of my anger may have seeped into that sentence.

“Well, you're agreeing right now, of course! Why would you pass up spending time with me?” I bet she smiled sweetly after that. I growled at the thought.

See, it's not that my mom's a bad person, or that she's overly annoying, it's just that I blame her for the divorce. She'd been cheating on my dad for years with some Spanish kid name Enrique (and I'll admit, it's a great name,) and dad had even known about it. But, love is love, so I couldn't really criticize him for not leaving her sooner.

Which is another reason I chose to live with my dad, besides the fact that I was pissed at my mom. He wasn't going to remarry any time soon, because he was still in love with my mom. So, you know, no Cinderella story with evil step mothers and horrible step sisters.

“I do have plans this weekend, mom.” Not exactly true, but I'm sure I could get plans by the end of the week.

“With who? Some boy?”

“Sure.” Maybe I should've thought that answer out...

“Well, then I'm going to meet him! Bring him over to my apartment before you crazy kids go out! You know where it is.” I was silent for a moment before what she said clicked...

“But--”

“Oh, I have to go! Remember to bring that boy to my apartment, you hear? Love you!” Then she hung up and I paled dramatically.

“Hey, Brooke?” I asked, not looking at her.

She glanced towards me carefully, grey eyes glinting. “Yeah?” she asked gently, probably wondering if I was going to break.

“Do you know anyone who has self esteem that's low enough to actually tolerate me on a date?”

Brooke smiled, cheshire cat-esque. “Can't say that I do, dear." And neither did I. Oh, shit.

I sighed heavily, closed my eyes, rammed my head into the cafeteria table again, and cussed.

---

“So, captain,” I said, saluting Brooke, “What's the plan?" Though I wasn't paying much attention. It was Monday in the park after school and we had a bag of jumbo marshmallows.

“...Well, before I tell you about my brilliant plan, I have to set you straight on something. See, you called me captain, and then you saluted me. What are you? A soldier or a pirate? Soldiers don't say captain, and pirates don't salute.” Then she glanced at me expectantly.

I just snorted. “What kind of dork corrects someone about something like that?”

“It's a known fact, Cal,” she sulkily replied.

I sighed and looked up at the clouds, bored. If I squinted and leaned back towards the huge tree we were sitting under, one of them looked like my grandmother in the shower... I shook my head, and turned back to Brooke.

“So, we have until Friday to get you a date, because your mom expects you over there on Saturday, right?”

“Affirmative.” I stated then beamed.

“...You couldn't just say 'right'?” She squinted at the sun, pulling red hair into a pony tail.

“Affirmative makes me feel like some super special, super cool person.”

Brooke scrunched up her nose as she leaned the back of her head on the trunk of the tree behind us. “You know, you're weird, Callum. I don't know why I'm your best friend. You'd think you'd go for someone more... insane and in need of therapy.”

I grinned my biggest grin. “You are insane and in need of therapy. We're just different kinds of crazy.”

She blinked twice and completely ignored me. “Anyway, that gives us four days to find you a date, not counting today. I've got Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C. We move on to the next letter if the plan doesn't work.”

I tilted my head to the side and looked thoughtful. “Okay... But we're starting with Plan C, then Plan A, then Plan B. Otherwise it seems too... oh, what's the word?”

“Organized?”

“No, I was thinking potatoey.” I threw her a sidelong glance. “I guess organized works, too.”

She scrunched up her nose again and disregarded my comments. “Plan A: we go clubbing and find you some random guy who doesn't look extremely skeezy to escort you to your mom's. And that's it. You don't actually go on a date with him.” She stared at me in exasperation as I tried to stuff a jumbo marshmallow up my nose. It wasn't working out very well.

I noticed her eyes burning holes in the side of my face, and I quickly turned my head towards her. “Oh. Yeah. That. That sounds good,” I said, marshmallow still stuck halfway in my nose.

She just glared at me and continued her rant. So I continued trying to shove marshmallows up my nose, agreeing to everything she said.

“Okay. I guess we're going with C, then.” But she didn't look happy. Probably because she hated being ignored. Not that I was ignoring her. I just wasn't... realizing that she was talking. Which doesn't make much sense, but that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

“Um... What's Plan C again?”

She narrowed her eyes. “You're gonna go around the school and tell random people that you need a date for Saturday. And, if you're lucky, word will get around and someone will take up the offer.”

I looked up at the clouds again, marshmallows falling from my nostrils. I stood and picked up my bag. Brooke followed suit.

“Wait, so, some random guy I don't know is gonna be taking me out on a date?” My skeptical green eyes found her and I waited for some sort of answer.

Brooke shrugged, while hitching up the black strap of her book bag. “You might know him.”

I narrowed my eyes and started walking in the direction of my house. This was going to be the longest week of my life, and I knew it.

---

author's note: hey, readers! tell me if this deserves a second chapter! i don't really know at the moment. i wanted to write out at least five chapters before putting this up, but i gotta know if it should be continued, 'cause i think it's kinda... ishy and i don't know if anyone's gonna be reading it... :D tell me what you think!

and! and! if you see any errors, feel free to point them out. i think i got them all when i edited, but i don't know.

p.s. sorry about the crappy title. when i start writing more chapters, i'll rename it.