:: I Guess I Just ::

I guess I just prefer the concrete now;
None of that nurturing, abstract nonsense.
Oh, I will take any solid food that comes my way,
But I have no intent to swallow it.
It's rich
And I can't afford to waste too much time
Contemplating its flavours.
I will let it have its fun,
Dance on my tongue,
But I'd rather take a sip of simplistic pleasure
Than devour some philosophy
And hold it in my stomach for days.

I guess I just don't care for explanations now:
When I see someone laugh
I smile too
Because I discern there is happiness somewhere-
Does it matter the source?
You say you're sorry and bring me flowers-
Roses and daisies, you couldn't decide which-
And you go on with pleas of forgiveness.
But it's okay- I knew you were wrong
And sorry was enough, Dear.
Just let me touch you.
Oh, shut up and kiss me.
Sing me your new song
And I'll lose myself in the melody,
The lyrics and its reasoning can wait till tomorrow.

I guess I just doubt myself now.
I like the way the pencil feels in my hand
And the marks it leaves all pretty and used
On the paper
And the way it smears my fingertips
More than I like to sit and actually
Form some thought.
Things used to just come to me;
Now they pass through.
My fingers struggle to grasp them
Before they slip into dreams of yesterday.
This is all I wanted to do, and now
I feel I've failed,
Though it's probably just another dry spell.
That's what I keep telling myself.
So I grab a glass of milk
And sun myself for a while
And by tomorrow I'll have forgotten
All I could have, should have done today.