The day was gorgeous. Sunny, but with a slight breeze that nipped at me as I sat beneath my favorite tree on campus. The breeze proceeded to remind me that it was now October, not the summer that it continued to feel like. The change of color in the leaves should have been enough to remind me, as they created a beautiful view from the hill I sat on. I removed my I-pod from my purse, in an attempt to decide my playlist for this week. I was mainly a request DJ, but I had to have some backups in case no one called!

As I sat there, listening to “Closing Time” by Semisonic, I could hear someone attempting to sneak up on me through the grass. Just when the person reached me, I opened my eyes and leaned my head back against the side of the tree. Sure enough, there was Ryan Cambrian, my best friend. Well, it went back a bit further and deeper than that, since we actually dated for about a year in high school back in Connecticut, but now I just consider him my best friend.

“Hey, you!” I laughed as he jumped back a bit. No matter how many times I catch him doing that, he never seems to get that I can hear him over my music. He grins his usual, boyish grin and sprawls his lengthy body on the ground next to me, his head by my feet. That grin still made my stomach flip… ‘NO!’ my mind screamed at me. After what happened last time, I wasn’t about to let myself head back down the road to love again. That way, danger laid.

“Hay’s for horses, Melissa, you know that!” His cinnamon-brown eyes sparkled with mischief, as I rolled my own deep blue orbs.

“Don’t you think I get enough childish antics working at the daycare, Ryan?” He just smirked and snatched my I-pod out of my hand. The sudden movement jerked my head forward with the gadget and I screeched in surprise. I could see him switching songs on me.

“What do you think yo-” I started to respond before the opening chords of “Your Guardian Angel” by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus came on. Lately, that had become ‘our’ song. I smiled at him, a bit sweeter than usual, as he reached up and gave my auburn ponytail a playful tug. I took my I-pod back and went back to my former position.

We sat there in silence for a few minutes. I had my eyes closed and was focusing on the music and he was…. I don’t know. Probably daydreaming, like usual. Then, the next song my I-pod chose came on. Of course, it had to be “Your Song” by Elton John. Suddenly, the sunlight seemed colder and the wind that much more bitter. My eyes began to fill with tears, despite the fact that they were closed. I shut my eyes tighter against them, as I got the feeling someone was watching me. I opened my eyes and, through the blur of tears, caught Ryan’s brown eyes, that were now filled with concern. He sat up and pulled me into a hug, taking the I-pod from my hands and pausing the song. I could tell he knew what it was without even looking. There was only one song that caused me to react like that anymore.

“God, I don’t get why you were so hung up on him, Mel. He couldn’t handle you.” Ryan whispered gently, his strong, tanned arms still around me. I’d heard this numerous times from both him and my roommate, Carolyn Malouf.

“I loved him as he was, but I wasn’t good enough. I was too involved in music. I was too impractical.” I had begun to ramble. This usually happened.

“Mel, calm down. You shouldn’t have to change. No one should have to change for someone they love. Phillip is so lucky he graduated last year. Otherwise, he’d be a dead man right now, for what he’s doing to you.” Ryan told me heatedly. I had to let myself smile at that a bit. That was the way he had always been, both before and after we went out. He was always ready to destroy anything that made me upset.

“It doesn’t matter now. I’m not going to be stupid enough to fall into that trap again. I’ll be an old maid, if I have to, but I’m not going to lose my heart again.” I said as much to myself as to Ryan, having to remind my heart of my resolution. I could feel him tense a bit as I said that, then a new song came into my ears. “Crash and Burn” by Savage Garden. How appropriate. Though it may seem like I’m bad now about this whole Phillip thing, I was worse last month. Right after it happened, I almost had a breakdown. I couldn’t handle everything, but Ryan was right there. He’d let me scream and cry at him all night if need be. That really helped me. It was moments like that that kept me alive, I think, now that I look back on it.

“Hey, you can’t let one bad experience sour you on love for the rest of your life. That one person might be right around the corner, Mel. If you give up on love, you’re gonna ruin someone else’s life as well as your own.” That’s my Ryan. Always the major believer in soul mates, he was. Wait, had I just thought… MY Ryan?!

“We’ll see.” I murmured, a bit wrapped up in my thoughts. Ryan just tugged my ponytail again and changed the song. I slipped out of his embrace and settled back against the tree as he moved to get up and go. Before leaving for his class, he surprised me by bending over and kissing the top of my head. As “Bring It On Home” by Little Big Town played, I figured him right. I can’t give up on love. Especially not when it’s right in front of me.