Questions and an Answer

What is it? What is it about him that makes you want him so? Why does he make you want everyone to disappear so you can be alone with him? What is it about him that makes you feel the way you do?

This is so overwhelming. All of the emotions mixed within your heart. What can you say when all you want to do is be with him? He’s the sweetest guy you’ve ever met and probably the sweetest one you’ll ever get. You’re trying to write all this down while still feeling his embrace, even though he left long ago. You feel his presence; he’s always with you, though he’s no where in sight. How can it be possible? How can you like him with all your heart but always have room for more? These emotions come pouring out if you, but there’s no need for words. It’s an unspoken bond between the two of you, yet to say it would make it official. That’s why you are writing these words, for him to read what he already knows, what you can not say.

And what of those three little words? Is it time for them after just a month? But you’re almost absolutely sure about it. What else could this feeling be? You’ve never felt this way about anyone before. Sure you might have said it before and sure at the time you probably thought it was true. But this is different. You are absolutely sure you’ve never felt this before. For if you had, you would know it’s name. Actually, you’re certain you know what it is; you just can’t say it. The one word, the one emotion, to sum up all of your feelings is one too powerful to mention by name. It’s only been a month, you tell yourself. Far too early to say something like that. You just happen to like him a lot...a whole lot. But your mind is in denial of what is true in your heart. Your mind says to trust your heart while your heart says to trust your mind. Either way there are only two words to describe your emotions. You choose one but it’s not enough so you choose the other. It seems right but it’s hard to believe you feel such a thing after only a month of dating such an amazing person.

Is there such a thing as soul mates? If there is, he is yours. Is there such a thing a true love? If there is, you are certainly feeling it. There are no words to describe how he makes you feel; what it’s like to be around him; all the cute things he does. The way he looks at you, so intently, studying you with his eyes outmatching the depths of the deepest ocean. They are the most confusing part about him, those eyes. They say many things yet always have the same gleam in them when he looks at you. But you don’t mind, it’s cute and it makes him who he is. And so do all the other small things. Just by kissing your lips, he can turn the worst day into the best. Just by holding your hand, he can wipe away all of your fears. When you hug him, he holds you so close and so tight, you can’t break away even if you wanted to...but why would you want to? You like him way too much.

But is it just liking him? What about that other highly powerful four-letter word? You know you want to tell him; it’s just too early. Or is it? It just depends on how you look at your relationship. Some may say: Yes, tell him! While others would advise: No, it’s too early, wait. But wait for what and how long? How long could you go without telling him how you feel? Even if you told him...would he feel the same way? Or would he say it was too early? Either way, you know now that you can not deny what your heart and mind are saying; for they are the same thing. You can not run from the truth any longer. And why were you running in the first place? You were afraid of getting hurt again. You were afraid of falling hard and finally not being able to pick yourself up without all the bruises and cuts. But somehow, this time, it’s different. That’s what you said last time though. And the time before that and the time before that. But somehow, in your mind you know for sure that this time is different. You know what you feel and you know how to describe it and its wonders. You know what to call this emotion that surrounds you. You know you can not hide any longer. You know you love him.