There was that one terrifying realization only a few minutes ago when I realized that I not only love my best friend, but that I’m in love with him as well.

I call him my best friend not because of the reasons people would normally think, but because he is the only person that has been a true friend to me.

Since I’ve met him, he’s never lied to me, never intentionally hurt me, never refused to help me, and never let me down-not with anything important.

He is the one person that I know will always be there for me when I really need him, and somehow I feel that when I realize and accomplish my dreams, he’ll be one of the first people to tell me “well done.”

He’s the person that I want to be proud of me. For the past two years I have been trying to gain his attention by proving to him that I’m not the kid that most people my age are. In reality, I’ve proved the exact opposite.

But now I’ve grown up. In only the past few weeks I’ve grown and matured more than anyone should at this age.

I feel like such a completely new person, and I can’t even begin to describe what’s going on with me right now. I’m so overwhelmed by everything. I have this burning desire to do something great, not because I want to be recognized by the masses, only because I want to be recognized by him.

There are moments that I can look back on and my heart just seems to get heavy and loaded down with all these emotions, and it’s all because of something he’s done. There is so much going on with me right now that I can’t get it all straight. Everything is just coming out in big jumbled thoughts.

With the realization that I love him came the realization that he doesn’t love me, not the way I would want him to. He doesn’t and he never will.

As much as I want to beg the opposite, I have to admit that I’m not the right person for him. I want to be but I can’t.

That being said I don’t know what else I can say, so I’ll finish with this.

Sometimes there comes a time when a person realizes that the one person they care the most about would be better off without them. It’s the hardest thing in the world to accept, and even harder to admit. I’m admitting that now.

T.P.L. you have become so much more to me than a friend. Some days you have been what kept me going. I hope that eventually I can get past this and be content with being only friends.

Good luck with your life.