|A Twist of Dialogue
Author: Halfbloodlycan PM
A humorous spoof of out of character situations between the characters of Whispers of Rebellion.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Parody/Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,313 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 05-25-08 - Published: 08-22-07 - id: 2406206
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
Based off my story, 'Whispers of Reform', characters. Different from Eventhorzon42's version which is also based off of it. Have fun.
Xavix: "Introducing our first character, Saavey."
Saavedro: "Please, can you not call me that."
Xav: "Sorry, habit, I mean Saavedro."
Saav: "Yeah, hi, where are we exactly?"
Xav: "Soon we'll be heading to, uh," checks map) "…Caracan? I guess." Turns to someone and asks for directions) "Is that before or after we reach the mountains?" (Continues consulting someone for directions.)
Saav: "It seems Xavix is currently unavailable…I mean for talking at the moment, so I guess I should continue this myself." (walks out the door)
Saav: walks into a bar and bumps into Vera "Sorry." Turns around to take a different direction and walks into Perrin) "Sorry, Perrin, Master, Sir."
Perrin: Looks at him skeptically) "Saavedro, I told you, you don't have to call me anything other than Perrin unless we're in the company of the king or other high ranking officers."
Saav: "Okay, sorry sir, I mean, Perrin."
Perrin: Sighs and rolls his eyes) "…and for the last time, stop apologizing for everything. Xavix seems to be catching that; I'm beginning to think it's contagious."
Xav: "Sorry I'm late" (glances over toward Saavedro who looks nervous) "…but I got lost on the path of life. Okay, no, actually I got lost trying to find my way through that forest. I mean who would've thought I would run into bandits who prefer to steal body parts instead of money." (Receives several stares) "What, I'm serious; they tried to cut my hands off. I only barely managed to lose them coming in here."
Perrin: "Are you saying there's a chance they followed you?"
Xav: "Probably" scoffs and rolls eyes) "…but you could take them."
(Bandits enter with swords)
Saavedro: (Walks by, takes out his sword, stabs the guy nearest him who spontaneously bursts into flames)
Stella: (Walks by, takes out her whip, it grows metal spikes as she binds the remaining bandits and they all die of blood loss) "Geez, you call them bandits? That was pathetic."
Denya: walks in) "Hey guys, what's up?"
Vera: "Nothing, just killing some bandits."
Denya: "That reminds me, those officers killed another customer."
(Several people draw weapons claiming they have to leave suddenly)
Xav: "Okay then, so anyways I'm glad to see you all made it."
Vera: "Yeah and you would have been here sooner if you had come with us."
Xav: "And I would have, but someone ditched me." Glares at Saavedro)
Saav: "I didn't ditch you; I just left without you."
Xav: "They're the same."
Perrin: "Now that that's over…"
Xav: Mutters something under her breath that sounds like "probably went to find his girlfriend")
Saav: (Who heard the comment) "I do not have a girlfriend."
Perrin: "Come on, we all know you do." (Grins mischievously)
Saav: "No, I don't."
Everyone: "Yes, you do."
Saav: "No, I don't."
Everyone: "Yes, you do."
Saav: "No, I don…"
Vera:Covers Saavedro's mouth with her hand) "Will you shut up!?"
Saav: "Fine, then what about Perrin and what's-her-name?"
Perrin: "For the last time we are not together."
Perrin: "What's that supposed to mean? I've gone through this a million times: I think I would know if we were going out. Do I have to spell it out for you?"
Xav: "Maybe you do."
Perrin: "Oh, I see where this is going. If you're trying to be subtle, it's not working too well."
Xav: "Daffer." (translation, Damn)
Vera: "Well, this place is a real snooze fest; maybe we could strike up a more interesting conversation. I could care less about your pathetic love lives."
Denya: "Good idea, let's have a random sword fight."
Vera: "You don't have a sword; you have those stupid stick things."
(Officer walks in)
Saav: (Watches the officer sneak up on Denya and picks up a table knife, throws it at the officer hitting him in the left eye, and grazing Denya)
Denya: (Unaware of the officer screaming behind her) "Hey! You could've killed me!"
Saav: "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sor-"gets smacked upside the head by Perrin)
Saav: "Thanks, I needed that. Where were we?"
Perrin: "We were just about to watch a sword fight with only one sword."
Denya: "Fine, then we could watch a fight between two people with swords."
Vera: "Nah, I change my mind. Let's watch two people beat each other up without weapons!"
Xavix: "Okay so where were we?"
Denya: "We were about to watch a sword fight."
Vera: "Correction, we were about to watch a fist fight."
Xav: "With who?"
(An officer walks in and passes Misa Amane, his sword is dripping with blood. Misa jumps up and grabs him in a headlock. She beats him over the head with her broadsword. The doorknob turns and Nessa Ancalimion walks in. She stands and stares at everyone then quickly takes a step back and closes the door. Misa kills the officer and, as if on cue, Nessa walks back in.)
Denya: "Nessa guess what..."
Nessa: "I don't want to know." Walks to the back of the room.)
Xavix: "Well, that was fun." (Rolls eyes) "Hey Saavedro I've been wondering, how did you become Perrin's apprentice?"
Saav: "Ah, well, we were childhood friends, but Perrin's family moved to Caracan. We kept in touch occasionally. One day when I was out running errands outside the village, I came back to find it destroyed, and dead."
Sohrea: "Oh, I'm so sorry."
Saav: "It's fine, anyway, oh yeah, how did I become his apprentice? After that day I traveled to Caracan and asked around for him. I remember the day well."
Saavedro steps up to Perrin's door and knocks. Perrin opens the door and looks at Saavedro quizzically.
Saav: "Hi, remember me?"
Perrin: "Should I?" His mouth accidentally slips into a smug grin giving away his thoughts.) "How long has it been? I mean, why are you here?"
Saav: Oh nothing much, just my hometown was destroyed by the King and now I just want to feel fire coursing through his veins until he explodes." (ends up looking at his palms with an evil glint in his eye)
Perrin: I see, so you want revenge, huh?
Saav: Yes, sweet revenge.
Perrin: (Looks at Saavedro like he's insane since he's always so sweet natured "Okay, well I'm bored so why don't you become my apprentice."
Saav: "Really? That'd be great."
Xav: "So, maybe now we can head to Daknae, and this time you guys can't ditch me."
(Later, on the Alden River on the way to Daknae…)
(Jubin and several others board a raft they have just made. Jubin loses her balance and falls in. Perrin is about to jump in when Rogue grabs him shouting.)
Rogue: "Don't go you'll drown in the rapids!"
Perrin: (Falls in along with Rogue and everyone else who attached themselves to him.)
Everyone: (comes out of the river soaked)
(A strange, melodious voice flows to them. Everyone looks toward the voice. At first they think it is Nessa singing but, upon glancing, they realize it is really a woman covered in a strange garment of jeans and a sweatshirt.)
Nessa: (Takes her throwing knives and throws them at the woman, who simply dodges them)
Random Woman: (To Saavedro) "You have a very difficult journey before you. You must complete a prophecy and three special tasks. Then you must-" (is impaled directly through the heart by Perrin)
Perrin: "We really don't need any more prophecies or tasks or whatever. Like we haven't got enough trouble trying to keep ourselves alive."