|A Twist of Dialogue
Author: Halfbloodlycan PM
A humorous spoof of out of character situations between the characters of Whispers of Rebellion.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Parody/Fantasy - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,313 - Reviews: 2 - Updated: 05-25-08 - Published: 08-22-07 - id: 2406206
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
PERRIN: (gets pushed into the river by a force)
EVERYONE (except one person): (screams) "Perrin!"
PERRIN: (gets dragged under the rapids)
Xavix is meeting Jubin at a bar.
XAVIX: Jubin, I need some inside info on someone.
JUBIN: Who's it for. (shifts eyes)
XAVIX: I need something on Perrin. I already have lots of stuff on Saavedro but I don't even need it.
JUBIN: oh, he's the one person I have nothing on.
In another corner Sohrea is sitting at the counter. A guy (who looks a lot like no one she's ever seen in her life) comes up and talks to her.
GUY: Wanna come with me pretty lady?
SOHREA: Uh, no.
GUY: C'mon, it'll be fun.
SOHREA: Uh, no.
SAAVEDRO (to self): do the right thing and be the bigger person.
INNER SAAVEDRO: Yeah right, I should just take this guy out right now!
GUY: (grabs her arm and starts dragging her to the door)
SOHREA: (picks up a mug of beer and chucks it at his head)
GUY: (writhes in pain and blindly lunges at her and punches the guy behind her)
SAVVEY: (appears and takes Sohrea's arm, pulling her out of the fray thinking, 'yes, she is amazing')
XAVIX and JUBIN: (Watch the start of the fight, then slip out the back door)
Jubin has wandered off to find other people to mess with. Meanwhile, Rogue runs into Perrin sitting under a tree and reading.
ROGUE: What's that?
PERRIN: (flips to the cover)
ROGUE (reading): An Intellectual's Guide to Annoying His Friends until They Want to Kill Him. (Raises her eyebrow)
JUBIN: (sneaks around)
ROGUE: Where's my knife?
JUBIN: here it is!
ROGUE: (takes back knife) little thief.
JUBIN: (sneaks off to find Giuseppe)
Meanwhile…in the village market Denya and Vera are wandering around, searching out supplies.
DENYA: Guess what?
DENYA: No. TOBIAS!
TOBIAS: (stands behind Vera with a questioning look)
DENYA: No. I'm going to visit my mother's hometown.
VERA: but…that's so far, you'll never make it.
DENYA (dramatically): Don't worry Vera, I promise I will make it back alive.
VERA: Put away your sword first, Denya. Before you put someone's eye out.
DENYA: I can't, it already cut through my scabbard. I think I may have over sharpened it.
VERA: Give me that. (Vera rips the sword from her hands and the force makes her sword hand fly back into shelves containing many spices, the main of which is pepper. Everyone starts sneezing)
Back to Rogue and Perrin…Giuseppe saunters up to both of them by the tree.
GIUSEPPE: Jubin keeps stealing my stuff.
ROGUE: and you're surprised by this?
XAVIX: (Runs into the scene from out of seemingly nowhere shouting) He wants to kill you!
PERRIN, ROGUE, and GIUSEPPE: Huh?
JUBIN: (too busy trying to steal Perrin's book to notice)
XAVIX: (turns to Perrin) I won't let him kill you.
PERRIN: Wait, you're talking about me?
XAVIX: Yes. (latches self to Perrin)
PERRIN: Okay, you don't have to be so dramatic about it.
XAVIX: (Detaches self, suddenly calm) Yes I do.
ROGUE and GIUSEPPE: …
XAVIX: Why is everyone always speechless?
XAVIX: Arg, stop doing that!
PERRIN: they do it to annoy you.
XAVIX: (unsheathes sabre and approaches Perrin, glaring)
PERRIN: (ignores her)
XAVIX: (channels electricity through her blade)
EVERYONE: (turns to look at him)
GIUSEPPE: Where are Sohrea and Saavedro?
PERRIN: Where's my book?
SOHREA: Hehe, do they even know where we are?
SAAVEDRO: I hope not.
GIUSEPPE: Found them!
SAAVEDRO: No! You haven't! Augh! Go away! (looks extremely frustrated while fire appears in his hands and he throws it at people, it misses by a mile and hits the trees behind them causing a fire)
SOHREA: You have a spine!!
SAAVEDRO: (seething and muttering) just be the bigger person…
SOHREA: Never mind.
Perrin wakes up to find Denya and Saavedro hovering nearby. He is leaning up against the bars of his cell. There is a dead guard wearing a filthy uniform.
PERRIN: (looks down at self) Why am I wearing nice clothes? (looks between Denya and Saavedro)
SAAVEDRO: (averts his gaze)
PERRIN: Please tell me it was Saavedro and Tobias who were involved in this.
DENYA: (looks away guiltily)
XAVIX: (comes through the door) Perrin has a beard.
PERRIN: (temporarily distracted from the previous situation) no I don't.
XAVIX: yes you do.
PERRIN: well it has been a week of torture.
XAVIX: no, three days and you already have a beard.
DENYA: It's not really a beard.
PERRIN: stress can do that, so can torture.
XAVIX: somehow I seriously doubt that.
Some time later...
XAVIX: Saavedro, remember meeting those forest natives?
SAAVEDRO: Oh yeah, that was fun.
DENYA: Didn't they think you were their god or something?
SAAVEDRO & XAVIX: No.
DENYA: Oh…so he was never treated like a god and sacrificed to that forest dragon?
VERA: Were you high on life?
DENYA: (remains silent)…where's Tobias?
VERA: Only you (shakes her head and sighs) Anyway it doesn't matter since Rogue and Nessa here saved out butts.
XAVIX: Right, we'd probably be dead without them.
VERA: Knowing you.
XAVIX: Where's Perrin?
VERA: (twitches irritably, suddenly swings sword and misses Tobias, who just walks in)
DENYA: (launches self toward Vera but is caught by Saavedro)
TOBIAS: Um…I'm here to talk to Denya.
SAAVEDRO: yeah, she's right here.
VERA: (rolls eyes, answering Xavix) He's probably dead somewhere.
DENYA: (walks out with Tobias)