Why bother with silly arguments
and stupid-like quirks that you push to be noticed.
Attack, attack, never let go,
is this your new motto – to chase my fears to me?
I used to idolize you, when I was four
Mind you,
I idolized a lot of things when I was four.

I wish I was four again, when everything seemed perfect.
When everything worth something was
tater-tots at preschool and snowmen in the winter.
When nothing else was as important
as catching that boy in the Peter Pan hat during tag.
When things seemed so easy…

But I’m not four anymore, am I?
I’m approaching yet another birthday,
one more year away from the perfect, innocent age.
One more year closer to the end.
Things don’t seem so perfect anymore,
only worst. And suddenly I wish
I was four again, and I was idolizing you
instead of hating you most of the time.
But there’s no pause button for time,
no rewind button for life.
So I can’t be,
four again.