Maryus Sulutis Tragicus

Overview

The Maryus Sulutis Tragicus is, perhaps, the most common and one of the most irritating Mary Sues, simply because they invade any type of society and completely kill it by constantly trying to focus it on her and her sad and tragic life. The best way to go about describing a Tragicus is “Tragically Cursed and Forever Tormented by their Tragic Past which is Tragic.”1 Anyone normal seems boring in comparison to her life. These are the Sues that have names like “Raven” (or Rave) “Harper” and “Ara”, and will constantly talk about her horrific past. Many sues will have tragic pasts, but the ability to define and impress upon people her past is what makes the Tragicus so dangerous.

Appearance

You will never see a Tragicus without dark hair. Ever. If ever a Tragicus with blonde hair is sighted, you’re mistaken. It is likely a Rebellea, a Romanticus, or a Selfinsertus, all of which will be covered in later chapters. Long hair signifies that the Sue is planning on going for an extra tragic angle, and short hair implies that the Tragicus wants to appear ‘badass’ as well as tragic. Sometimes it may be streaked or tipped with another color; commonly red or white, but the colors may include green, blue, pink or purple.

Another thing you will never see on a Tragicus is tan skin. She could be in the blazing sun in the middle of the desert for hours, and her skin would still be milk white. This skin is to better contrast her dark hair and make her seem more delicate.

Like any Mary Sue, a Tragicus has a wide range of eye colors. Common colors include: Vibrant purple, emerald green, blood red, and ice blue (which will be inspected in-depth in a moment.) or a combination of the two. In a Tragicus, they have less of a tendency to flash and more of a tendency to simply be deep and mysterious.

‘Ice blue’ is possibly the most commonly described eye color of a Maryus Sulutis Tragicus. We can only imagine that to them, that particular description of light blue eyes makes them appear to be cold and mystifying. But then we have to ask the question, “What is ‘ice’ blue?” Needing to answer this pressing question, the author filled an ice cube tray with water, placed it into the freezer, and waited the necessary amount of time for the water to convert into ice. The author removed the ice cube tray from the freezer, and noted that the color of the ice was not blue. After some research, the author deduced that while ice is not, in fact, blue, ice may appear blue, specifically glaciers, and that “ice only appears blue when it is sufficiently consolidated so that bubbles do not interfere with the passage of light. Without the scattering effect of air bubbles, light can penetrate ice undisturbed. In ice, the absorption of light at the red end of the spectrum is six times greater than at the blue end. Thus the deeper light energy travels, the more photons from the red end of the spectrum it loses along the way. Two meters into the glacier, most of the reds are dead. A lack of reflected red wavelengths produces the color blue in the human eye.”2 And so, we must come to the conclusion that ‘ice blue eyes’ should hereby be referred as ‘blue eyes that appear as ice does when it is sufficiently consolidated so that bubbles do not interfere with the passage of light.’

A Tragicus’ wardrobe consists mainly of black items of clothing. This includes leather, dresses, skirts, tank tops, jeans, swimsuits, belts, etc. Other colors may include red, green, white, and dark purple, but she will have some sort of black cloth on her body. They will also carry weapons, as mentioned previously, and the Tragicus is extremely partial to daggers and bows. If she’s a magical being, her forte will likely be of the ‘dark’ and ‘mind’ magics.

History

The story of a Tragicus is the single most important thing to her method of drawing in the men. This is why it has to be extra heart-wrenching. Not only is this for sympathy, but it is also to impress others in her ability to overcome her obstacles. “If she survived her parents murders, a kidnapping, three different cases of rape, a rabid schnauzer attack and several broken bones, then she can do anything.”3 It also gives an excuse for her to wear black, carry weapons, and have a violent nature in general, for “vengeance”.

Why is this so attractive to the Sue? Perhaps she’s confusing it with Greek tragedies of old, made popular because of the emotion they invoked. Perhaps she believes that all real heroes come from a tragic background, and is thus more attractive.

One will almost never see a Tragicus from a happy family and friends setting. She may be famous or part of a royal family. There will be instances of death, abuse, kidnapping, or even rape. She might have been sent away to a correctional facility of some sort. This could have been because she’d done something wrong, to make her look more rebellious, but if she’s going for more tragic it will be because she was falsely accused of something. She will have some sort of scar or object that reminds her of her tragedies, and may subtly draw your attention to it so you’ll be curious enough to ask about it.

One way or another, she’ll likely be alone. This will either be because her entire family is dead, or because she ran away to escape them. Since she’s by herself, her story will include her with some sort of interesting job or she’ll pretend she’s capable enough to fend for herself in the wilderness.

Keep in mind that while she wants you to know she has a tragic past, she may not always be so quick to reveal it. She will reference to the fact that she’s emotionally damaged by something often, but she will not necessarily bare her soul unless she believes she’s losing one’s interest. The more you know about her, the better, but do not under any circumstances remain near her if you begin to feel any sort of sympathy.

Behavior

The Maryus Sulutis Tragicus is extremely moody, and will display the variety of these moods without any apparent trigger. Some may choose to pass this off as being ‘bi-polar’. Either way, one minute she’ll be threatening to run you through with her ornate dagger that she stole from the evil lord ShadowNebutron and the next she’ll be weeping in memory of her dead parents.

Her default mood is what Sue hunters call “trying to be emotionless and mysterious.” This means the Mary Sue does not have any expression on her face whatsoever, except for an occasional smirk. (Note: a smirk is the only type of smile she chooses to express.) She might speak in a flat tone, trying not to betray her inner turmoil. If something enrages her, her eyes might glitter with fury. This is a sign that she will transform into the angry Tragicus next.

The angry Tragicus is frightening, to say the least. Flashing eyes, weapons, the fact that she’s unstable from her tragic past… it can be very terrifying to a novice sue-hunter. One must remember to keep calm and rational, because nine out of ten times it will make the Sue look ridiculous to everyone else.

On the contrary, the emotional Tragicus is mildly irritating. She’ll bawl out her story to whoever she thinks has earned her trust (This is not hard to accomplish, since her story is what lures in helpless victims.) There will be a tear, or perhaps more if she feels you’re not getting the point, but as stated previously it will never take away from her beautiful looks. She’ll seek comfort, but do not let her touch you at this point. This is where the Tragicus releases her own type of Maryus Sulutis pheromone, causing one to feel pity and let their guard down.

However, this is also when the Sue is at her weakest. She will be so preoccupied with luring her in that you can take her with a surprise attack. Question her on the details of her story, perhaps. Or you could even make up a story, attempting to make your life seem more upsetting and depressing than hers. This will likely send her into her angry mode, making her look silly. If you’re feeling brave, take her main prop (locket, kill list, her pet wolf) and destroy it. If you’re feeling suicidal, cut off her locks of raven hair. Or dump bleach on it. Either one will destroy the Sue, but be extremely careful as all Sues realize their hair is their weak spot.

Strategy

-Do not feel sympathy for the sue

-Remain calm and rational during her angry outbursts

-Be firm and refuse to cuddle

-Look for an opening when the Sue is done with her story

-Question the Sue’s details

-Destroy any props

-Try to out-drama her

-Bleach her black hair

-If you begin to feel sorry for the Mary Sue, run

The Dingo’s Tracks: From the Author’s Journal

7/31/2007-Iris
I was Sue-hunting recently when I came across a lucky find. Iris was an obvious Tragicus (an advanced one at that, as she also had traits fitting with Romanticus, Rebellea, and Hybrridus) and I knew her for what she was right away. She did not pass for a human, no, this Mary Sue chose to identify herself as an “elf”, (This was an area known for its fantasy-like creatures, and less-than-modern traditions) and a bounty hunter at that. She appeared about 18, with sleek black hair and violet eyes with flecks of silver in them. She described herself to have come from a people that called her acute eyesight and senses “Thoron Hen” or “Eagle Eye”, that could be turned on whenever she wanted. Her story: Her “parents” were killed early in her life, and since then she was one of the “Rana” (as she put it) or “wanderers.” Her horse, Dagor, was black as night with white hooves.

I watched her from a distance, in the beginning. She carried a list of names for her “bounty hunter” act and would cross the victim’s names out with their own blood. She could also speak and understand the animals of the forest. I watched her kill a man and take some of his hair and an eye. I was surprised that she’d destroy a food source so casually, but this was just to keep up her act for when better food came along. She was stubborn, quick to anger, and her eyes often ‘flashed murderously’.

Oddly, I saw her rescue another, weaker Tragicus. I realized why when a man joined the group. Once again, this was just to keep up her act. After all, nobody would be attracted to a woman that was nothing but a pure bloodthirsty monster. That would defeat the purpose of the Maryus Sulutisentirely.

The man was weak. He was apparently a shape-shifter, another type of fantasy like creature common to the parts of the land I was traveling. When it was clear that Iris already knew him, I realized he was one of her mindless slaves, kept on hand to make her more attractive and to keep as a replenishing food source.

Eventually, I made myself known. I called myself ‘Sapphyre Starfyre’, one of my Perfectus disguises. With hair dye, contacts and staying out of the sunlight for several months, I appeared to be an Elf of about 19, with long black hair and blue eyes, and I wore an old locket to appear mysterious. I had also blown my expenses on a pure white horse, which was extremely stubborn. I called him “Nobellius”, and my sword, “Swyft Justyce”.

When I finally showed myself to them, I brought along several friends to help me, and proceeded to “mow them down” in front of Iris so I could show off my talents. Unsurprisingly, she pretended not to notice. All of them ignored me at first, maybe hoping that I’d realize Iris was their leader and that they had no room for another ‘Alpha’ Mary Sue. I kept my distance as I followed them, until I got to their camp. I think at the time, I was hoping to take over and shift the leadership towards me by impressing them with my Perfectus nature so I could pick them apart one by one.

I made a dramatic entrance, threatening first, bawling out my ‘story’ next. I explained that my mother was killed by the King they were hunting, and that I was on the run. I offered my services in hopes they would believe I wasn’t a threat to them, and they welcomed me in. Ironically, I also noticed I had drawn the attention of Iris’ man-slave, and I got excited, thinking that maybe I might have had a chance to draw him away from the Mary Sue. Unfortunately, Iris noticed this as well, and quickly grabbed him and drained more of his life force from him (pretending to kiss him, romantically) in front of everyone’s very eyes. I smiled weakly at their “love for one another”, but it was all I could do not to gag as he once again turned, entranced and devoted to her once again.

I choked out my ‘story’, even managing to squeeze out a lone tear. At that time, my most trusted friend, Coyote, came to help, dressed as a simple man, “my” minion, if you would. At first we pretended that we hated each other, then “fell in love”, as tradition to Romanticus. I needed to make sure they believed I was one of them, and imitating Iris’ “love” was a foolproof way to do so.

The slave offered to search through Coyote’s mind and I panicked. They would know us immediately for what we were. I quickly begged him to stop, hoping that it would distract him enough for him to quit. Luckily, it did.
Coyote and I continued with our scam, but I knew that it was too risky to keep it up for long. I did have to suppress a smirk of my own as I noticed Iris looking upon our “love” with disgust, amused that she’d be so revolted with something she was doing moments before. Suddenly, I was worried that rather than thinking me a fake, she would think I was a threat. After realizing this, I sat in silence for a long time, listening to the Sues talk about how they’d overthrow the evil king (who at that point I felt pity for), until they ran off. I followed them, carefully, and attempted to tone down my acting a bit. As soon as we could, Coyote and I bolted.

Thinking about it now, I regret not being able to do anything. At least I am still alive to educate other Sue-Hunters with this journal. I still wonder about the group, wondering if Iris had finally drained her shape shifting slave dry, and how many other Mary Sues she managed to pick up. The last anyone heard, she was planning to take over the kingdom. If that happens, I will have no choice but to find them again, perhaps under a new disguise, and make every effort to destroy her. For now, I will follow other, less dangerous leads until I have the experience and information I need.

1 Coyote

2 Benjamin Drummond, “Blue Ice-Why is Ice Blue?”

3 Pitbull