Sold!

(July 28, 2006)

The pool is undeniably shallow. I'm so grateful you're so mellow. She's a bit of a heartbreaker, but I trust her soulful eyes, her orthodontia smile. Do you want me to sell her? Where was I that day, when we heard the news. It's my generation's JFK. Now we're all under attack, and even my nail file is a threat to your life. That's why I can sell you a wife. She won't drink unless you want her nice and drunk. She won't cry unless you give her a thump. The sex may suffer, but there's always handcuffs. Verbal bloodplay disgusts me, nor would I take to the real thing. Oh, do I still need a fake ID? Am I demented in thinking they stare at me? Let's not pretend the world isn't heating up. The lakes are boiling. The ocean is my hot tub. And I tile my beaches. It's smoother. You'd love it. But god, who has the time? It sure feels like the hours are piling up. It sure feels like a wasted effort. It's a dream come true. Do me a favour, shut my eyes when the tears dry. I'm weaker than you'll ever know. "Look at her go." "Can't even lift a hand to her face." I'm sorry about all of this. It's all true. I'd give anything to look into the stars and see the majesty. But the point is not to make you love me, it's to tell you a story. Is it too late to start over? Picture a row of houses, each so beautifully mismatched and unique that at the sight of them, one would weep. Yet somehow, the most beautiful are the most demure. That's why I can't sell lies, but it's why I darken my eyes. You'll understand soon enough, at the change of the tides. She's all yours if you want her. The world is yours if you can fucking stop her.