I've never been one for thinking about myself, but when it comes to him I find myself wishing I could be more selfish. It’s been one of my goals in life to do as much as I could while living to just make life easier for others, but just once I’d like to be able to have something for myself. I met Adrian when I could call myself nothing more than a girl. I was barely out of my awkward early teen years and he was already a handsome, grown man. I guess there was something in my innocent and naive nature that he found attractive, as I’ve never really noticed very many positive qualities about myself. He was everything anyone could ever ask for in a man plus more, as cliché as that sounds.

Our romance was something of a whirlwind one, to use another old adage. He began to show up where I worked several times a week and we would talk after I got off until the long hours of the night. The antique store I worked at required me to work long hours and he would often linger in the store during the last few hours of my shift. I think he realized I would never be selfish enough to ask to leave work early when the both of us knew the store was already understaffed.

It was one of those nights later in our relationship that he gave me the necklace. It wasn’t as much of a necklace as it was an engagement ring on a simple gold chain. I could hardly speak. How could I jump into a marriage at such a young age? Surely he didn’t think I could commit to something when I was struggling to put myself through college as well as send money home to help my mother and younger brother. It killed me when I realized I would have to tell him no, and I wanted nothing more at that moment than to be selfish. I wanted to scream at my mother and tell her how she should go out and work to raise my younger brother instead of relying on me. I wanted to forget the two semesters I had already invested in college and just run off and marry him right that moment.

Before I could even tell him how I felt, he said the few simple words that would change my life. “I’ll wait for you, no matter how long it takes,” he said. I had been expecting something more along the lines of an “I love you, will you marry me” and I sat back in my chair in the coffee shop wondering if I had dozed off without knowing it and had dreamed up the whole ordeal. I knew he was perfect, and the idea that he would wait for me secured his place as “The One” in my head. I was eventually going to say yes to Adrian, it was just a matter of me being ready to handle the responsibilities.

After that night, I felt more secure in my relationship with Adrian. We began to grow closer in our relationship to the point that we were engaged in every aspect save for the technicalities. All that was left was for me to say yes, but I still wasn’t ready. I realized we could be engaged and wait for the wedding, but I still couldn’t just jump into an engagement unless I knew for sure I would be ready to handle the responsibilities of committing to him forever. He had been so perfect I figured I owed him that much.

As the days turned into months, our lives became busier and busier. For work-related reasons, he had to move out of town and we began to see less and less of each other. For me, it only meant the time we had together was even more special. The long-distance relationship aspect of it was hardest on me. There were times when I needed him to be there for me and I would lie awake in my bed, crying myself to sleep instead of calling him and asking him to drive and come see me. I hated to inconvenience him and I feared that if I did that I would only become a burden to him, which was what I most definitely did not want to happen. The time we had together grew less and less and I began to wonder about his promise.

The ring began to feel heavy and there were times when I was tempted to take off the chain and give it a rest, but still I kept it on. My guilt began to build as I realized how long it had been since he had first given me the ring. He had been more than patient with me, waiting faithfully for me to be ready. It was then that I realized I had no reason to put off my answer any longer. Everything that had been stopping me from agreeing to marry him was gone; my mother had gotten re-married and was doing well, I had quit school after the old man who ran the antique store left the whole thing to me out of gratitude for the many years I helped him and I was no longer struggling to get by.

I closed up shop very early on the night of my revelations, determined to tell Adrian my answer. I had faith in his promise to wait for me as long as it took, but it was selfish of me to wait any longer than I needed. I could hardly wait to get to his apartment and the fact that there was traffic that night in the direction I was heading in only annoyed me. After an eternity of stop-and-go traffic, I pulled into a parking spot near his apartment building. There was a wave of momentary panic as I realized what I was about to do but I smiled to myself in my rear-view mirror and stepped out of my car.

There was no answer to my knocking and I found myself worrying if I had chosen a bad night to give him my answer. I laughed to myself at how different this was from the romance movies I had seen where the love interest of the heroine was always at home just in time for her to come confess her love. I waited a good five minutes or so at his door, pondering my situation when I realized he had to be home. I parked next to his car when I had arrived and it never occurred to me until now. I knocked again, but there was no answer, so I tried the doorknob and found it unlocked. I assumed he was listening to music or watching television in the other room and had not heard me. Shutting the door behind me, I didn’t see Adrian immediately. The first thing I saw was a woman’s purse on the table by the door.

I didn’t jump to conclusions. He was a very well known and well-liked person and he had plenty of female friends. One of them had stopped by for a visit and was still here. I figured that it was a bad time and I decided that I would no longer intrude upon his living space. As I turned to leave, however, her laugh caught my ears. I turned to look and saw the two of them staring out at the sunset, his arm around her shoulders, her head on his and each of them with a glass of red wine in their free hands. It was the perfect image of romance and the only way it could be more perfect would have been if he had gotten down on his knees and proposed.

It was then that I realized what I mistake I had made. I had waited so long and had been holding onto the ring that was meant for her. I smiled sadly to myself as I reached up around my neck and for the first time in years, I removed the necklace. Reverently, I set the ring and the necklace on the table, torn between leaving him a note or some sort of final message, but as I looked at them out on the balcony of his apartment, their dark silhouettes against the red of the setting sun, their gazes only on each other, I knew there was nothing that could be said. Glancing at them one last time and smiling at how perfect they were, I left their apartment and it suddenly felt as if all was right with the world.