57 Things To Say/Do While Ordering A Pizza

1. Say: Yeah, can I have no toppings, cheese, or crust with that?

2. When they say "Can I help you?" you answer: "No, that is my psychiatrist's job."

3. Sing your order in the tune of a metal song.

4. Ask for them to put the cheese on the bottom this time.

5. Stutter.

6. Sneeze into the phone.

7. Breathe heavily like Darth Vader while ordering.

8. Spell out everything you don't want on your pizza.

9. Give them an extremely long name. (Ex: Yeah, this order is for Michael Tristen Oliver Xavier Jones-Beatle-Zoltowsijiski.).

10. Answer their questions with questions.

11. When they ask why you are answering with questions, ask them why they are asking questions.

12. Ask them why they called you.

13. Whisper: "I know what you are doing right now." into the phone.

14. Change your accent as often as you can.

15. Press the number buttons while talking.

16. Crumble paper into the reciever and start panicking. Then, scream "They've found me!!"

17. Say hello and wait five seconds before yelling "You're one of them!!!!" and hanging up.

18. During the middle of your order, use a robotic tone and exclaim "This body is not suitable anymore. I must discover a new host." Then, switch back to your regular voice and keep going with your order like nothing happened.

19. When the order taker repeats your order, say no, and change it a little. Do this five times before sobbing and saying "Why don't you ever understand me? Why can't we just click?"

20. Ask for insurance on the pizza.

21. Ask if you can return it later.

22. When they ask "Will that be all?" answer, "I don't know, will it?"

23. Change the pitches of your voice frequently.

24. Apologize and claim it has to do with puberty.

25. Engage the order taker in a long serious talk about puberty.

26. Tell the order taker you know their mother.

27. Order one slice of a pizza.

28. Tell them you want exactly five and a quarter pepporonies on each slice.

29. When you recieve the pizza, complain that there are five and a 'half' slices of pepporonies on each piece and refuse to take it.

30. Give them the wrong address and, a half hour after they deliver it somewhere else, call up and complain.

31. Call up claiming that the deliver boy molested you.

32. Ask if the pizza is organic.

33. When they repeat the order, say: "Great, that will be ($.$$) dollar and ($$) cents. Please pull up to the first window."

34. Ask for no sauce.

35. Talk in japanese.

36. Ask if they can hold.

37. If they hang up, call back later and go on a tirade about their horrid manners.

38. Tell them you know what they did last night.

39. Ask if they take bubble money.

40. When they state the price, haggle with them until you reach the same original price.

41. Pretend to be a telemarketer.

42. Try to sell them a pizza.

43. Explain why pizzas have no soul.

44. Tell them to make sure your pizza is TOTALLY dead before they deliver it.

45. When the deliver boy/girl comes to the door, open the door a crack and whisper in a raspy voice "Why don't you come around back, darling?"

46. Tell them that you don't want the pizza delivered in a box.

47. Ask if they deliver across seas.

48. Ask them when was the last time they showered.

49. Ask for one, big, crazy bread-stick, then add in a suggestive voice, "If you know what I mean..."

50. Request that they measure the pizza to be percisely 12 inches wide and 4 centemeters long.

51. Order while you are in the bathtub.

52. Tell them about your life.

53. Guilt trip them into cheering you up.

54. Then, ask why they aren't taking your damn order.

55. Speak to them like they can't understand English.

56. When they repeat the order, repeat the same order that they said. Do this as long as possible. Then, ask why they are repeating you.

57. Give them a long, descriptive and complicated order. Right before you hang up, say, "Ah, you know what? I really don't feel like having pizza today."

A/N: I hope you all enjoyed that one. It was fun to write. My friend told me a few, not sure if they belong to her or not. Lol! But, I did most, lol.

PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And put me on alerts, for there will be more funny "57"s coming. This is my third...