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.VI.

“I’M UNHAPPY, OKAY?”

part one

--

Becky admired her brand new phone, sitting so belongingly on her bedside table. Sure, landlines were so ‘90's, but she loved to be retro, even when it wasn’t in style. “I don’t have patience for a cell,” she thought out loud, admiring her old-fashioned sensibility all the way to the bathroom, where she plugged in her electronic, state-of-the-art brand new toothbrush, wondering what part of town she’d go to for breakfast before going to work.

Before that, though, she got a chance to use her new landline phone. ‘Ring—ring--ring...’ it sang, a little subdued under the sound of her toothbrush. Becky would let the answering machine get it. ‘Ring--ring—beep. “Heey! This is Becky, and I’m not here right now, so just leave a message at the beep!”...” She stood in front of the mirror and waited, annoyed, for the message. It was probably some political candidate or bank or cable company or something, she thought, and then an increasingly familiar voice started to talk from her bedroom;

Beep. “Hey, it’s Toh. Figured I’d call you before we become, like, a couple or whatever. Remember our plan? Anyway, thought you’d like to get to know me or –“

“Hey, it’s me,” Becky answered, picking up the receiver. Her toothbrush was still running in the bathroom.

“Hey girlfriend! Er, I mean...Hey, baby,” fumbled Toh. Becky was reminded of Juto instantly. “So what do you want to tell me about?” Becky asked, curious and amused. She absently twirled her plain, blunt hair, and scratched at her plain, square-ish jaw while her plain, grey-blue eyes flitted around the room. She was stout, boring, and chunky, with happy memories of childhood and little emotional baggage. However, despite escaping with a rare good childhood, Becky was a fag hag, and not exactly proud. But she didn’t tell Toh any of that, because it was his turn to tell her about him.

Toh was still upset about being rejected by Juto; he lost sleep, lost his appetite, even broke out in a mild rash over his neck. He’d stopped going out in public, and spent a lot of time struggling not to cry, and also a lot of time giving in and bawling his guts out. When he got angry, he was vengeful; but when he cooled off, he was guilty and depressed. Toh knew people had a hard time relating to him, and that Juto Sasaki, who, as far as Toh knew, was in Indonesia, was a one-in-a-million man and that sort of person would never come to him again. Not to mention Toh’s disturbing childhood, and the fact that he’d never talked about it to anyone; including Juto. The highlight of said childhood was his fat, ancient cat, who was living with his emotionally passive (to put it lightly) mother in God-knows-where. But he didn’t tell Becky any of this, because Toh was also somewhat manipulative in nature and tended to hide things from and use people.

“Hm...you know, I think that we’d better meet in person before we decide anything. You know?” offered Becky, trying to be clear. “Maybe it’s not the best idea to talk about ourselves over the phone.”

“What?” asked Toh absent-mindedly. He was getting dressed, and trying to remember what colors went best with pale orange, which brought out his golden skin. He wondered if maybe even talking to another human being was inspiring him to re-introduce himself into the social world.

“Well,” replied Becky, “I think you should probably come down here...to Frisco, I mean. We’ll talk.”

Toh doubted Juto’s capability of carrying out his plan of hitchhiking to San Francisco. Besides, even if Juto was in Frisco, he’d be with Sam the track coach, not Becky. Toh knew that he had more than enough cash to get there without hitchhiking, even though the thought of him riding along comfortably in a car while his ex wandered in the cold was troubling.

But, ultimately, Alex Toh wasn’t the planning type; have money, have car, have contact, will travel. He wasn’t thinking, and was spontaneous. He felt that feeling of spiteful guilt for Juto coming over him again, and he pressed it back with answering to Becky.

“Yeah, alright,” he decided. Becky smirked on the other end; she had a manipulative side herself. “Sorry for the inconvenience, but I’m...old-fashioned,” she said, and then heard her electric toothbrush still running in the bathroom...was the sink full? Could that brilliant, shining toothbrush blackout the entire apartment building? “Oh, damn,” she swore. “I left the toothbrush running...uh, you have my number. Just call me again and leave me yours, okay? I’ll tell you where I live later,” she said quickly, and hung up as Toh was saying goodbye.

--

In the beginning of the day, Juto was hard pressed to find someone willing to give him a lift, and decided to simply walk until he came to some highway café where it would be quite a bit simpler to ask for a ride. His legs ached like all hell, and his mouth reeked of tired morning breath. He’d spent the night under a goddamn bridge, and didn’t plan on ever sleeping in a place like that ever again. The river was higher in the morning, and Juto woke up with his arm in the water. After pulling his limb out, he saw it was covered with leeches that he had to pull off one by one. Juto remembered yanking those slimy, strange things off of his forearm and shuddered to recall the pricks of blood they left behind. It reminded him of one of Toh’s old friends who shot heroin “casually” (if that’s even possible).

“Hey, where are you goin’?” asked an unfamiliar voice from above.

Juto was so tired he thought it was God for a second, and replied, “How the hell do you expect me to know? My life is nothing but a fucked up, heartbroken...amoeba or something, I don’t know where I’m going. I’m unhappy, okay?!” He looked up and saw the smiling face of a very black man in the driver’s seat of a big red pickup truck. The guy seemed very amused. Juto blushed and started stammering out of embarrassment.

“Get in, friend,” the black man said, “I’m going to San Francisco if you want to come with.” Juto nodded and hopped in. The black man promptly sped off, shocking Juto a little bit...however, this guy was a good driver. He seemed comfortable at very fast speeds, and, Juto imagined, he might be better at driving fast than driving legally. There are some things that one just has to accept when trying to find an old lover, and breaking the speed limit is one of them.

“My name is Walter,” said the black man, his eyes calmly glinting over at Juto as he spoke. “You don’t have to tell me yours; you’re...Juto Sasaki, right?”

Needless to say, Juto’s jaw dropped. “How did you...?” he began, and Walter chuckled without reply. It was going to be a strange ride, Juto knew that for sure, but at least this guy was no Mitch.

A/N:

Wow, first update in about forever. And of course it’s going to be suspenseful, I mean, how else would I want to write more? (Shut up, suspense isn’t just for the readers...it can be for the writer, too). It’s lonely out here, without reviews. Why don’t you write one? Maybe I’ll feel super happy and start making cookies again! And guess what? I’ll give you some!!

WAIT DON’T LEAVE okay that was gay, I admit...would you change your mind if they were macadamia nut?