Tom let out an exasperated sigh as he stepped into his musty old car. Placing the keys into the ignition, he tried to think of positive thoughts. However, as he reviewed the day, he could not even find a sliver of happiness in which he could find his solstice. As the car engine roared to life, he pressed down hard on the accelerator to leave the deserted parking lot. A heavy feeling gripped his chest for he knew that the very next day he would be pulling in to the same empty parking lot. Others acclaimed him for his hard work and diligence, awarding him with names like “Hardworking Tom,” but Tom found no pleasure from the compliments of others. The praise that came for him only seemed to be a pretty euphemism to sugar coat his complete lack of a social life and basically any life apart from work. Each compliment was a sharp reminder of everything that he was missing in his barren and fruitless life.

As his car pulled into an empty highway, Tom was overcome with a great feeling of disgust towards his mundane life. He thought about his plans for tomorrow and with anger realized that it would follow his routine as each day had for the past twenty years. He would wake up besides no one in a cramped, desolate apartment. He would grab clothes from his closet that were exact replicas of one another. At eight fifteen he would be slowly slugging along in bumper to bumper traffic, uttering curses under his breath. At work an overwhelming compilation of work would somehow formulate on his desk. He would stay until very to finish every last paper, excluding himself from co-workers’ social gatherings. He would then return to a darkened home to change, eat a TV dinner, and sleep. These characteristcs were what composed his life; a fruitless job, and empty home, and no one to comfort him but himself.

Tom wondered how his life had reached this point. He reminisced about his life right out of graduate school. He smiled at his own self; he had been zealous as his young mind spilled with ideas to make himself famous and rich. His head was filled with false hopes and in his thoughts he was on top of the world. He remembered the day he received his job at Morgan Stanley. He viewed the job as only a step in the ladder of financial success; he never thought that he would be stuck in a cubicle instead, filing and recording account numbers. Each year working at Morgan Stanley had taken a part of Tom’s youth and bright prospects for the future, until finally, his job completely robbed him of his hopes and dreams. Tom had pondered for some time where his young and enthusiastic self had gone, but that person now seemed like a complete stranger to him. That Tom had been killed along with everything the young Tom had hoped for.

Tom awoke from his nostalgia when he realized that he had not taken the exit to go home. He looked at the green sign ahead which read “Cliff Mountain,” and realized how far he had come from home. Suddenly a thought hit him so hard, that he could not understand the logic of it. He felt almost some kind of entity darkly drawing him into the dark universe; it was an eternal vacuum of death, wrenching him in emotional agony. He slowly came to realization that there was no purpose in his life anymore. Even if he went home now, he’d be doing the same thing tomorrow. The emptiness and void would never be satisfied by his everyday lifestyle. He made a sharp turn into the Cliff Mountain entrance, as he slowly egged his car up the steep hill.

The drive didn’t take more than three minutes, but to Tom it seemed to be an eternity. As his car took the twisted turns in the very isolated path, Tom began to think of the effects of his suicide. With great sadness he realized that no one would even bother to come to his funeral, and he would probably not even have anyone to give any of his possessions to. He wondered if anyone would even notice that he was gone or dead. Perhaps Carol would, because she would miss someone to cover all of her work while she socialized by the coffee machine. There was also Joe, Serge, Mary, and Timothy who would also probably miss their luxury free time they got by dumping their work on Tom. However, he knew a new intern could replace his work and Tom would be soon forgotten. His house would be sold to the government along with all his possessions which would be dumped in the trash. His ex-wife Mina probably would come to claim some pieces of furniture that she may like. Yet, she wouldn’t even bother with funeral preparations or grieving, she would probably be more avaricious to find out how much he had left her in his will. “Dumb bitch,” he thought, Tom had completely cut her out of his will the moment she had ran away with half his money and belongings.

A sharp crunch of gravel reminded Tom that he had reached the top of his mountain. He looked over his dashboard to see sheer nothingness below. His breath had become shallow now as he began to reconsider his decision. He stared at the pitch black drop below, and realized the gravity of the whole situation. For almost an hour a tumultuous debate took inside him. On one side, a voice egged him on, claiming that he nothing left to live or hope for. Yet, another voice started to tell him that he could change his life, and that hope was never gone. Tom realized that because of his intrinsic denial of human nature, instead of trying to find out what he was, he had sometimes insisted on heaping shame and guilt upon himself for not living the ideal life. As the raging battle continued in his mind, a light began to creep into the sky, as Tom realized that the sun was beginning to rise. He sat in his car, exhausted from the agony of having to choose what to do, but he felt a release from all his troubles. The sun rose so magnificently so, with a dark purple shade slowly transforming into a golden yellow. The sky, no matter how dark it was in some parts seemed to light up and transfer into beauty in front of his eyes. Tom realized, that it was moments like these that made life different, and at that point he was truly thankful that he was a human being. As the sun began to rise in the early morning sky, so did Tom’s morale. He realized that he could not take the easy way out, and that life was beautiful just like the sunrise. However, sometimes, he would have to step back and just enjoy the beauty, sometimes he had to be the passenger in his life.

Pleased with his revelation, Tom stepped out of his car onto the cliff. He was shocked as he looked below to see the ravine which once seemed so welcoming and comforting to fall into, had transformed to be an ugly array of sharp rocks that screamed death. Tom began to thank God for his decision to persist living, but he never finished. Just as he was telling God his choice about living, he tripped and fell over a rock, pummeling towards the dagger rocks below. And just like that, Tom was no more.

Mina stirred her morning coffee as she watched the news. There was an exclusive story about a man who had committed suicide by jumping off of a cliff. Apparently, his remains were too mangled by the jagged rocks to identify him, but the car on the cliff above acknowledged the man to be Tom Davidson. Mina spilled her coffee everywhere in shock and trauma. She shakily but quickly grabbed her home phone to make a very important call to deal with this sudden death. Her words stumbled and her voice trembled.

“Hello?” she said into the phone, “this is Mina Hertz, Tom’s ex-wife, I was just wondering, when could I meet with you to discuss the distribution of Tom’s will?”