in the car again

without you

every turn I make,

every street I pass—

you’re there.

My heart belies my sense.

every turn of the wheel

my memories erupt

and I find myself wondering

if the same happens for you

Do you lie in bed and think of me?

and

Do you ever find tears lilting off your cheeks

and wish I was there?

Every time I see you,

I want to murder you

But every time I think of you,

I long for your embrace

I’d never believed it was possible to hate and love all at once

before.

I’d never believed

I could ever have hated

you

I know you don’t deserve my affection

After all that has happened

I should hate you just as much as I say I do

So why,

when I drive along these empty, starlit streets,

do I find myself searching for your car with a nervous heart,

wishing you would do the same for me?