Have you ever met anyone you just liked right off the bat? Or heard someone talk about meeting someone who was just so delightful? There are people who are just so likable that we can’t help but be drawn to them. People will often say to them “Oh, I like you so much.” or “Aren’t you sweet? I love your company.”

But, if there are people like that, then surely there are people out there that everyone just does NOT like. People that no one wants to be around or look at. People will say “I just didn’t like him” or “There was just something about her I didn’t like. I can’t put my finger on it.”

Im one of those people.

I don’t know when it happened, assuming I wasn’t born this way, but as far back as I remember no one has liked me.

Not even my mother particularly cared for me. Not that she was abusive but she really tried to avoid having much interaction with me. When we were alone and forced to talk the conversation would inevitably lag and she would say things like “Well, your sister is a dear, isn’t she?” I can’t be certain, but I don’t think I was breast fed either.

Though I’ve never acted out or have made a spectacle of myself teachers would always say “I’ve got my eye on you.” As if I was up to something dubious. My test scores always came back low unless a TA had corrected them. That was, until the TA met me. It was a wonder I ever graduated at all.

Getting a job wasn’t easy either. No one would call me in for a second interview, whether I was under qualified, over qualified, or adequately qualified. People will tell you anyone can get a job at a fast food restaurant, but that isn’t true. Not if you are as unlikeable as I am. It took me a good long time before I was hired on at a Mc Donalds. It wasn’t my dream job by any means but it WAS a job, so I was happy enough. I didn’t take into account that my un-likeability would hinder me from keeping it though. It’s not anything I did that got me fired, not at all. In fact, it’s what I didn’t do, and that was serve people. But I TRIED to serve people, really I did. No one wanted me to serve them though. A few people even had the gall to ask me “Can someone else take my order?” What could I say to that? I would go and find someone to take their order.

If I was physically or mentally disabled, the government would step in to help me care for myself, but there are no disability checks for people who are simply unlikeable. Though I assure you, it IS a disability. It is a liability. It is a...hindrance. So now I cannot support myself, have no one to help support me, and I cannot pan handle. No one gives unlikeable bums spare change.

As if all this wasn’t bad enough, I must admit I don’t much care for myself either. It isn’t self loathing or pity, no... There is just something about me I don’t like, I can put my finger on it. You might be saying, “Well, why don’t you kill yourself then?” But I am a religious person and believe in an afterlife. Im not looking forward to spending an eternity with myself.

Would you want to spend that much time with me?

I didn’t think so.