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Chapter five

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She paid no heed to their antics, even when one tried to trip her. It was elementary, but CJ was not one to start something, even when their actions were starting to grate her nerves. Extremely. Trying to relax, she leaned against the wall as she drank hungrily from her water bottle. Her lips pursed just a little when one girl passed by and glared at her.

So she made it on the team. Big deal. Why the crap were they glaring at her so damn hard? Truthfully, the warning she received a few days ago still rang at the back of her head. She was expecting a harder challenge from her classmates. They failed with the wow factor, as far as CJ was concerned. Admittedly, she actually had to try to steal the ball from a few of them, but other than that, it was as easy as breathing.

“You were lucky, new kid.”

At that tone, she turned her head to the left and saw the same red head glaring down at her with distaste. Her lips twisted into a scowl and CJ knew that if she really wanted to, she could probably burn someone with those daggers she called eyes.

CJ pressed her lips together before answering. “We all put up a good fight.”

She suddenly laughed. Cierra Jayne felt her eyes narrow slightly before she stopped herself. Redhead’s lips lifted into a patronizing smile. “No. No, you see, I don’t think that’s the reason.” She took a step forward. Her movement was graceful and slick and it reminded CJ of a cat ready to pounce on its prey. “It’s something . . . more.” Her voice lowered to a deadly whisper.

A cold chill ran down CJ’s back. What the heck? Straightening, her grip tightened on her water bottle. She didn’t know what this girl was talking about, but she didn’t like the way she was eyeing her. She allowed her lips to lift into a slight smile. “I’m not sure whether to take that as a compliment or as an insult,” she said, her voice cool.

“I never give compliments.” Her eyes iced over. “I give warnings.”

She couldn‘t resist mocking her somewhat. “I’m sorry to say that you failed fulfilling your previous warning.”

She didn’t say anything.

Cierra Jayne raised both eyebrows when the red head continued to stare at her with a dead expression. Frankly, it freaked her out, and she was never the one to receive chills concerning silly little things. She looked into her eyes and drew her eyebrows together. Weren’t her eyes green?

Black eyes stared back at her with a spark of rage. “Just who the fuck are you?” she sharply hissed. Opaque eyes abruptly switched to green.

That was strange.

Cierra Jayne frowned. Okay, more than strange. She was also feeling more than annoyed at the attitude she was receiving for no apparent reason. “What just happened?” she decided to ask instead.

Her voice was terse. Green eyes were staring her down intently. “I’d like to ask you the same question.”

CJ felt her hand pulse all of a sudden. It was like a light twitch. Flexing, she lifted her hand automatically, but her eyes widened when she heard an almighty bang. Frozen into place, she watched as the red head collapse to the ground on the other side of the gym where her body collided against the wall.

All eyes swivelled towards her, shocked. The water bottle from her other hand fell from her grasp and her jaw hung.

What the hell just happened?

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This was getting too odd for her. Her eyes flickered to the side before staring straight ahead. She still felt the eyes of her classmates on her. She couldn’t shake them off. Everyone has heard of what happened at basketball practice. Nervous was never a word to describe CJ in the last four years. But what other word would describe the tightening of her chest, her clammy hands, and the fact that her heart wouldn’t stop beating so damn hard against her ribcage?

Just where the crap was Chris?

Maintaining her calm expression was getting stressful, especially from all the glares she was receiving. She heard the whispers. She saw the looks. They normally wouldn’t bother her. However, this time, it did. It bothered her because it wasn’t right. It bothered her because she didn’t know what happened.

She ran it over in her head one hundred times. She felt her hand twitch. She flexed to ease her muscles. The next thing she knew was that the body a few feet away from her somehow made it to the other side of the gym. Redhead wasn’t unconscious, and no one gasped or went into worry-mode. The coach didn’t make much of a big deal . . .

That troubled her. It troubled her a lot. Because instead of accusations being thrown into her face, all she received were stares. They weren’t questioning. From what Cierra Jayne gathered, it was more of the what the hell is this girl stare.

A familiar head bobbed in the hallway and relief filled her. She swiftly made her way through the throng of people and paced herself with her twin. He looked down at her with a quirk to his lips, but his eyes were worried. She sighed.

“Heard what happened?”

“Care to enlighten me?” he asked. “I’m getting all these different types of versions, but they don’t make sense. Did you push the girl?”

“What? Of course not.” Her eyes widened before she ran a hand through her silky locks. Biting her lip, she lowered her voice. “It was peculiar. I don’t even know what happened. We were just . . . talking . . . And I moved my hand. That was it. I lifted it to stretch.” CJ allowed this to sink in. “And then she was at the other side of the room.”

Chris observed her. His expression was blank and disbelieving. She gave a wry smile.

“Does it sound as crazy as I think it does?”

“Frankly . . . yes.”

“I don’t even think it was me.”

“So you’re saying she threw herself across the room?”

“Did I say that?”

“You can’t just suddenly be in one place and somewhere else the next, CJ.” Chris held her gaze and looked thoughtful. “What were you two talking about?”

Um, let’s not go into that . . .

“Basketball.”

They both screwed up their faces, trying to think of a logical solution. Cierra Jayne was first to give up and sigh.

She already went through this. It was the same thing in her mind. And none of it made any sense.

“Can we just go to lunch?” she asked lightly. Chris snapped out of his reverie and nodded. The cafeteria was fairly populated as she followed Chris. She wasn’t surprised when guys greeted him naturally and thrown his way were a few sly smiles from girls here and there. The dirty looks thrown her way were gone unnoticed by Chris. Thankfully.

“Chris! Hey.” Lincoln smiled as they approached, but that was before his eyes appraised her. The smile slowly slid off and CJ decided to stand opposed to sitting down next to her twin just yet. Lincoln eyed her carefully, “So news travels fast around this school.”

She didn’t bat an eyelash. “I’ll say.”

He stared at her oddly. His dark hair seemed ruffled yet perfect, and he gave off that friendly aura . . . But there was something off about him. CJ raised her eyebrows at her silent musings. Then she frowned. She could have sworn . . .

She froze.

Linc hastily tore his gaze. “Damien. What brings you here?”

She forced herself to breathe. Damien. Why is she starting to develop an odd sixth sense for him?

“Can’t I eat lunch with friends?” he asked in a perfectly offended tone.

There was a beat of silence.

“Of course.”

CJ did not bother looking at him. She felt someone else’s daggers on her form. Casually lifting her eyes, she saw the red head staring her down with a look of utter hatred. Surprised flashed through CJ’s face. She looked fine. She didn’t look injured . . .

Did it even happen? Was she imaging things? Shaking her head, she bit her lip and focused her attention to the girl at the other side of the room.

Her eyes turned opaque again. Confusion swept over Cierra Jayne’s face. At the same time, she suddenly felt a strong hand clasp her elbow and abruptly pulled her back.

Damien was standing in front of her with a dark expression on his face staring at the person she had been staring at a moment ago.

“What the fuck is that girl doing?” Lincoln muttered under his breath. “Shit man! Did you feel that?”

“Timothy,” Damien breathed his voice tight. The said boy was already looking at Damien intently. CJ was still behind him; his hand was still holding her elbow securely. “Talk to Hannah. Now.”

Cierra Jayne turned her head, but Timothy wasn’t in his seat anymore. She frowned and glanced at Chris who was staring back at her with an equally mystified expression. They didn’t know what was going. What the hell was going on?

There was tensed silence around the table. All eyes seemed to focus on the frozen Damien and CJ standing here, having no clue to what had happened. She looked back to the red head, only to discover she wasn’t anywhere in the room.

Chris was first to break the silence. “What the hell just happened?”

CJ cleared her throat. “I’d have to go with the question as well.” She looked pointedly at Damien who was staring at her with the same strange expression she found uncomfortable. What was going on in the head of his? Her eyes lowered to his hand still clasped around her elbow.

He noticed too. “Sorry about that.” He retracted his hand, but his eyes were on her again. It seemed as if he were searching for something.

“Damien.” Lincoln looked at him.

Damien shook his head. “Nothing.” The tone of his voice seemed to ring with a tinge of scepticism. Lincoln looked confused.

“At all?”

“No.”

Cierra Jayne gave them both weird expressions. “Can someone fill me in?”

Damien straightened. “Stay away from Hannah, understand?” he muttered in a low voice. Was he speaking about the redhead? CJ looked at him wordlessly, unsure of how to judge the fierce look in his eyes. She has seen that look before. Her father always wore it whenever he was being serious about her. Particularly concerning her safety. However, she has not seen it in a long time, especially the level of intensity Damien was looking at her right now.

It was . . .

Well. She didn’t really know.

What was that odd feeling in her chest?

She parted her lips. “Why?”

Damien didn’t bat an eyelash. He gently clasped his strong hand around her wrist and began to tug her from her brother. She looked over her shoulder and saw Chris eyeing her with alert concern. She waved him off with a confused smile before turning back to the man in front of her.

“Mind filling me in?” she asked, her voice light, but her eyes tightened. Something was going on. She was definitely sure that Lincoln had a clue. Hell, she knew that everyone at the table (excluding Chris) knew exactly what was going on. Why else would they have been staring at her with the same hard look on their faces?

They were alone when he turned the next hallway. He released her but did not take a step back. Crossing his arms over his chest, he surveyed her intently. “Before Hannah slammed against the wall,” he began slowly, his eyes never leaving hers, “what exactly did you do?”

Taken aback, she stared at him blankly. He was the first person to ask, besides her brother. Moreover, she didn’t know whether the truth would make her sound crazy. Of course, he would not believe her. Why would he?

She decided to save herself the embarrassment. “I didn’t do anything, if that’s what you’re accusing.”

A ghost of a smile flitted across his face but it was gone in a second. “This isn’t an accusation, Cierra.” The way he said her name made a shiver crawl down her spine, and that was enough to set her running.

Funnily enough, she held her ground.

“Oh? Then what is it?”

“I’m merely curious.” His expression hardened before smoothing over. “She couldn’t have thrown herself across the room.”

What was he trying to get at? “Of course I know that.” Her tone clipped.

“You couldn’t have pushed her, either.”

“It is impossible,” she agreed mockingly.

His smirk was taut. “And that only leaves me with one other conclusion.”

A sweet smile graced her features, albeit patronizing. Was he trying to get her to confess some sort of trick she managed to do without knowing? The idea itself sounded preposterous.

The idea of a body flying across the room is preposterous itself.

But it happened.

“Why don’t you share it so it’ll relieve both of us of our confusion?”

It was the tense sort of silence where neither of them knew what to do next. Her back was inches from the wall and he was invading her personal space. But she didn’t move, only because she didn’t want to break the moment.

In a heartbeat, she understood.

He knew.

She allowed her body to relax and her gaze met his fixedly. To others they may look like a couple having an intimate moment, but they both knew otherwise. The perfect crooked smile appeared on his face, but his eyes were dark.

Is he worried? She thought to herself with dark humour before shaking her head inwardly. Well, he didn’t have to worry just yet. She was not going to ask any questions now.

She was going to keep her mouth shut until she knew what she was looking for.

“I’ll see you later, Damien.” The charming smile was always deceiving. She turned to leave, but his arm shot out to stop her in place.

She didn’t look at him, but she felt his aura lash out dangerously. “Stay inside tonight.”

. . . What?

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. Don’t leave your house. Do you understand?”

She had to look at him now. Her eyes were wide with perplexed incredulity. Was he joking? One look at his face made her understand that he was dead serious. Her mouth clamped and she felt her heart start to pick up pace for an unknown reason. She tried moving from him, but his other arm shot out. He had her caged.

“Promise me, Cierra.”

He didn’t know her well enough to know whether she kept her promises. Regardless of that minor fact, he still had determination written across his face. His eyes bored into hers, and for the first time in relation to anyone else besides her family, she felt a genuine smile tugging her lips.

He actually sounded like he cared.

Despite her raging curiosity, she nodded. “I promise.”

But it was a good thing for him that she did keep her word.

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It wasn’t challenging to keep her promise. It wasn’t as if she’d been scheduling to go out tonight. No, today she had a special task to do. She had it all considered. Coincidentally (or not, since CJ carefully planned it out), Rose Ann had to work late that night. CJ roughly calculated that she would be back no later than three o’clock in the morning.

She had plenty of time to get in, search for the letter, and get out.

A pity Chris chose that day to hang over her like the over protective brother that he was.

“I’m telling you Chris. For the last time, nothing happened.” Her voice lost the patient tone she always possessed. Her words were coloured heavily with exasperation that her brother, unfortunately, had the gift to bring out.

“And I call that bullshit,” he retorted. “Look, something weird is going on, and obviously everyone knows besides us. I’m trying to figure it out. And I know that Damien said something to you that bothered you.”

She regarded him sarcastically. “How do you figure?”

“Your bruised lip.”

“I’m worrying about my math test tomorrow,” she said breezily. She stopped her hand movements under the faucet sink when he literally snorted at her words.

“You never worry about a test. Oh, and you’re a terrible liar, by the way.”

She was mildly offended. “I am not a terrible liar.” She’s been lying for four years, hasn’t she? I figure that’s long enough to gain useful experiences that’ll teach me a thing or two about acting. She scowled lightly in his direction.

“I don’t think that’s something to be proud of.” Chris raised an eyebrow in her direction.

She gave him an indifferent look. “All you need to know is that nothing happened. We talked. That’s it.”

He didn’t look convinced. “Explain the incident at the gym then.”

“How the crap am I supposed to know what happened?” she asked as she dried her hands. They both glided away from the kitchen and into the living room. Her brain worked furiously on some way that she could get rid of him for a few hours. He’d be livid if he knew what she was planning. She noticed his defiant stance and sighed. “Really Chris. I have no idea.”

“Damien does,” he countered.

Miffed, she straightened unconsciously. She didn’t even know why she felt annoyance at his words. The reminder of Damien, perhaps? “And if he did,” she replied, “he didn’t tell me.”

They held each other’s gaze for a long time.

“Aren’t you at least curious?” he finally asked.

I’m terrified.

She wanted to say it. She wanted to tell him so badly, about how she felt about the whole situation. But what was the point? Chris couldn’t do anything. He couldn’t help, especially since she didn’t know what the hell happened herself. If she didn’t know, how could they fix whatever’s going on?

She offered him a mild shrug when she recognized he was still waiting for a reply. “Not really. No.” It was a lie, but it was an answer.

It was quiet, and that’s what made CJ look up. Chris was staring at her with a strange look. He looked torn, somehow, and she felt an unexpected clench in her chest.

“Chris?” she said softly.

He offered an automatic smile. “It’s nothing.” She waited for a moment, but when he didn’t say anything, she turned to walk away. “It’s just . . .”

She turned around. “Is there something wrong?”

“Yeah, actually.”

Worry instantly filled her chest, but her face remained as passive as ever. “What is it?” She walked over to where he was standing still. She made no move to touch him and instead crossed her arms over her chest.

He was unable to look at her in the eye. “Uh, never mind, CJ. It’s nothing.”

There is something wrong, Chris. Admit it. She burned him down with her eyes, her thoughts frantically screaming at him, asking him to let her in and open up. But her words were silent to his ears. They both stood in silence, each lost in their own thoughts.

“Do you ever wonder,” Chris abruptly broke the silence when she unconsciously made a move to walk away. She looked up at him in confusion. But he wasn’t looking at her. “Do you ever wonder if we’d end up this way if . . . he . . . were still here?”

It was like a punch to her gut. All air left her lungs and she stared at him.

It was the first time Chris looked so vulnerable. The question was one of many that desperately needed an answer. No one in the family ever mentions the what if’s, because the hope they had (at least, the twins) was slim. These words gave CJ hope, and some sort of numbing feeling as she repeated the question in her head.

Would they? Would they be different?

She didn’t know.

“I don’t know,” she answered truthfully. Chris’s face remained as stony as ever and she felt another part of her heart break. They were losing each other so quickly that it felt painful. She desperately searched her brain for an answer that’ll keep Chris from further locking himself away.

“We’d be happy,” she whispered to the quiet room.

Chris lifted his eyes just long enough to catch hers for a moment. “You think so?”

I don’t know.

Maybe.

Possibly.

. . . Yes.

“More than we are right now,” she confirmed with a nod. Chris nodded as well.

“Mom still sad?” Chris asked.

CJ ran her eyes over the walls covered with pictures of them. Chris and CJ in the playground. Chris and CJ fighting. Rose Ann and CJ smiling. Chris and Rose Ann laughing.

CJ purposely left any pictures of their father from the grasp of Rose Ann.

“I listen to my music,” Cierra Jayne finally said. She always listened to her music at night.

He nodded. “I hear her crying sometimes.” CJ wasn’t surprised, but that still didn’t stop her from hurting. “I check up on her.”

“She pretends to be asleep?”

“Yeah.”

“So what do we do?”

Chris shrugged. “Distraction won’t work, CJ. It’s been four years at least. She still loves him.”

Her expression didn’t flicker. “I figured.” Her tone was neutral, and her heart suddenly began to hammer loudly at an abrupt thought that entered her mind. She sucked in a quick breath. She couldn’t believe she was doing this. “I have an idea.”

He swivelled to her. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“What is it?”

She hesitated, but only for a nanosecond. “Find the letter.”

His eyebrows shot up and he regarded her cautiously all of a sudden. She kept the stubborn look on her face. She was going to do it, whether he liked it or not, but now she actually had an idea to go with this. It just wasn’t to satisfy her curiosity anymore; it was now for their mother.

“And do what?” he finally asked. He wasn’t agreeing, nor was he disagreeing. And that was a good thing for Cierra Jayne.

“Find out why he left.”

He observed her silently.

She pressed on, “Find out where he went.”

The answer was on his face when he realized exactly what she was going to say, but she said it anyway.

“Bring him back.”

“No.”

She met his steely gaze and forced herself to be ready for any thing that might make her flinch. Her eyes hardened. “You know we have to, Chris.”

“No.”

“He left. He just left. None of us had the guts to say that we should bring him back, and you know we should.” She swallowed, trying to keep herself from raising her voice. “I know they loved each other. Dad was so in love with Mom it was disgusting, but they were so happy.” Her voice broke in desperate attempt to keep it steady.

“That’s exactly it, CJ. He left. If he loved Mom, why did he leave without an explanation?”

“The explanation’s on the letter!” she practically exploded. Chris looked at her in unconcealed surprise. She was astonished herself, but she kept her cool. “It’s there. Mom said. We just need to find it.”

“What if he doesn’t want to come back?”

“We’ll see,” she said without missing a beat.

She saw and almost heard the argument going on in Chris’s head, and outwardly playing on his face. She felt her heart racing and she had the urge to start doing something crazy, like jump up and down. When her twin looked at her with a cautious expression, CJ knew that she’d won.

“Where is it?” he lastly asked, and CJ could not stop the smile that stretched her lips. He looked at her for a moment before smiling back at her.

“I don’t know,” she said with a shrug, pointedly ignoring the glower that abruptly replaced his smile. “That’s why we’re going to look for it.”

They both walked upstairs.

“And you’re sure this is a good idea?” Chris asked.

“In an attempt to make Mom happy, then yes. Yes, this is a brilliant idea.”

Chris was silent for a while, but when he spoke, CJ was speechless.

His voice was so quiet that she wouldn’t have heard it if she was intently aware of his every movement and breath. “What made you care?”

Very quickly, her thoughts flashed to Damien. It was only for a nanosecond that she felt him near her, felt him watching her with that aura that she realized made her feel safe, oddly enough. But it was the intensity of his voice that afternoon that demanded her safety. It made her feel comforted on the level of happiness CJ knew her own mother received from her father ten times over and more.

If CJ knew that there was still a chance for her mom to feel happy again, why wouldn’t she take it?

After all, Dad still cared. He had to.

Cierra Jayne turned her head to hide the smile that abruptly touched her lips.

“I don’t know.”

And her answer was truthful.

At least, that’s what she tried to tell herself when another picture of Damien entered her mind.

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