Author's note: This is the latest story in my Slayer series, dealing with Lucian and Zack's son. It does jump right into the story so I apologize in advance if it is confusing. You will probably need to have already read the other stories for the world to make sense but the story is basically just a bunch of angst and kisses, not really much plot anyway.

Please enjoy and comments of any kind are always appreciated.

Italics means a falshback.

---

The only sound in the gym was my harsh breathing and the smack of my fists and feet as I pounded the punching bag. Yet I knew the second I was no longer alone, I also knew exactly who it was. Frowning angrily I gave the bag a particularly nasty punch. Only my ‘lover’ could move as quietly as that. I continued for several minutes, my punches getting harder and angrier. I knew I was just being watched and I hated it. Ending with a kick which sent the bag swinging, the chain straining to hold, I spun, levelling a glare at the brunette.

“What?!” I practically snarled the word out.

The other man looked back at me mildly, the only thing hinting at his surprise was a slight widening of his dark eyes. He pushed off the wall he’d been leaning against, hands still in the pockets of his track pants. “Well I was going to ask if you wanted to spar for a bit…” his eyes glanced between me and the punching bag, “But now I’m thinking that’s not a good idea. Just what is with you today?”

“Nothing,” I hissed before turning back to the bag, continuing my vicious attack.

“Jatinra?” I leaned over my lover, half sitting up in bed.

“Hmm?” the brunette didn’t open his eyes, just shifted to get more comfortable under the blankets.

“Don’t you want to know where I was all night?” I asked curiously, wondering. Like I’d been wondering ever since I’d spoken to Barlin. The gruff man had complained that he wished his relationship with Ashley was as simple as ours. Friendship and sex, that simple, no love or jealousy to complicate things. I had never looked at my relationship with the placid sorcerer like that before and was disturbed that Barlin might be right.

“Not really,” came the sleepy answer, Jay shifting away from me a little, “You might want to have a shower though.”

“Why?” I frowned, unhappy that Jay wasn’t rising to the bait at all, “Because I smell like smoke, alcohol and perfume? Aren’t you worried that I was out screwing someone else?”

The sorcerer tensed for a moment before turning over to face me, peering up at me tiredly, “Should I be?”

I kept my face carefully expressionless despite my inner turmoil, “No, guess not.” That said I slipped from the bed to go and have a shower. Why should Jay be worried? Apparently our relationship wasn’t as exclusive as I’d thought. Jay really considered me just a friend. With that bitter thought I wished desperately that I felt the same.

Jatinra was still just watching me. I knew that without looking and it just increased my anger, which was dangerously high as it was. I spun again, stalking a few steps towards the sorcerer, “Right, let’s spar.”

It could have been my imagination but I thought I saw Jay tense up for a moment, “Umm… actually, Hal, I’m still kind of tired… I might give it a miss.”

“No way,” I was way too pissed off to just let this slide, “You came in here to get some exercise so you can’t be that tired. Take your jumper off and let’s go.”

Still Jay hesitated, actually taking a step back towards the door, “No thanks, Haleth. I just remembered I have to-” The sorcerer slumped against the wall, hand to his face, dark eyes impossibly wide, “You… you hit me…”

I was unfazed, grabbing Jay’s arm and pulling him towards the practice mats, “And I’ll do it again if you don’t wake up.” As our feet touched the thin mats I pushed the sorcerer, a bit surprised when Jay hit the mat bonelessly. Still very much annoyed I reached down, snatching my lover’s arm again, hauling him to his feet, “Get up and stop being so bloody weak.”

“Hal please…” Jay looked up at me fearfully, voice very small, “You’re hurting me…” Tears welled in the dark eyes, Jay trembling, truly petrified.

That did it. All my anger vanished abruptly replaced by guilt with the horrible realisation that I’d hurt my lover. Jay was actually afraid of me, terrified in fact. “Shit, Jay,” I pulled the smaller man into my arms, holding him close, “I’m so sorry… I was just so angry.”

“Please let me go,” Jay whispered, still shaking. The moment he was reluctantly released he fled from the gym, stumbling a little before he vanished from sight.

I sunk to my knees, head in my hands, “Why didn’t he just fight me back?” Yet I knew the answer. Could image with horror how I would have pounded the slighter man if Jay had hit me back. If we had ended up fighting my anger would have consumed me entirely. No wonder Jay had looked so frightened.

---

“Son?”

I looked up from the ground, stiff and sore from sitting on the gym floor for so long. For a moment I could only blink, vaguely puzzled over why my father was there. Lucius smiled gently, walking over to kneel in front of me.

“Are you alright?”

“How the hell could I be?” I asked, voice ruff, eyes stinging, “I could have… I could have really hurt him, dad. I was just so furious and it just seemed to get worse. I… I grabbed him, I hurt him…”

“I know,” the angel sighed, “He told me what happened. You did scare him pretty badly but he’s ok. He’s seen you angry like that before, just not with him.”

“What am I going to do? I can’t control myself when I get like that… What if it happens again and I…”

“Shh,” he stroked my hair soothingly, voice kind, “We’ll work on it. I’m sorry, Hal, it’s partly my fault. You were so good for so long I forgot it might still be a problem,” he paused, thoughtful, “What set it off? Did you to have a fight?”

“No.”

“Son? What is it?”

“He’s my friend.”

Lucius was clearly confused, “That’s a problem?”

I sighed deeply, shoulders dropping, “It is when I’m utterly and completely in love with him.”

There was a long pause, then, “Oh.”

“Hmm.”

“Son, I’m really sorry.”

“Hmm.”

“Are you going to be alright?”

I thought about it, “Probably not.”

---

I ignored the soft knock on the door, continuing to face the computer screen. I would keep working, not interested in talking to anyone. I didn’t want pity, not for what a screwed up half-breed I was. I tensed as the door opened, scowling and ready to tell whoever it was to go away. That was until I realised I hadn’t heard any footfalls. I turned around slowly, thinking I had to be wrong. I wasn’t. Standing by the door, Jay looked at me hesitantly, tray of food in his pale hands.

“You didn’t come down for dinner… I thought you might be hungry,” the sorcerer offered quietly, stepping a little further into the room. He kept his head tilted a little strangely, letting dark hair hide half his face. I swallowed thickly, sure there was a good reason for that.

“You didn’t have to do this,” I said softly, standing and moving towards my visitor slowly. I took the tray from the shorter man, careful not to get too close, not wanting to frighten him again. I turned to put the tray on the desk, unable to keep looking at the brunette, “Thank you.”

Jay didn’t leave. After a moment fingers rested very lightly on my shoulder, “Please… Won’t you talk to me?”

I stepped away, shrugging off the touch, heart breaking all over again, “There’s nothing to talk about. I’m very sorry for hurting you, Jatinra, but you know that.”

“So that’s it?” Jay’s voice was as calm as always but there was something in his tone which made me turn around. The one dark eye that was showing was shimmering with emotion, “You’re not even going to tell my why you were so angry at me you were ready to pound me into a bloody pulp?”

“I wouldn’t have!” Yet we both knew I lied and I felt worse for it, finally catching a glimpse of the cheek being hidden by hair. Breath caught in my throat I reached out very carefully, brushing aside the dark strands. A painful moan fled me as I saw the angry red bruising marring the normally perfect skin. “Gods, Jay… I’m so sorry.”

“Yeah,” Jay turned his face from the touch, crossing his arms across his chest defensively, “I know.” Neither of us moved. Frozen until Jay drew in a shaky breath, head dropping as he slipped his hands into his pockets, “Are you screwing someone else, then? Is that what this is all about? You’re trying to find the best way to put me aside?”

I was confused, “No… I thought you didn’t care.”

“Of course I care!” dark eyes focused on me, filled with painful emotion, tears spilling over red and cream skin indifferently, “I love you… I thought you felt the same, I thought I could trust you… that I didn’t have to worry about you going behind my back…” Jay choked back a sob, looking away, “So I was wrong but you could have respected me enough not to…” Jay suddenly turned, fleeing quickly towards the door. However there was no way I was going to let him leave like that, snatching my hand out quickly. Unfortunately it must have been exactly where I’d grabbed the sorcerer before because he shuddered, releasing a strangled whimper. I was horrified with myself yet again, letting go quickly.

“Sorry. I’m sorry,” I came around, standing in front of him, placing my hands on his shoulders very carefully, “Please wait…”

“Why?” Jay refused to look at me, silent tears falling to hit the carpet, “You’ve made it clear you don’t want me anymore. Doesn’t matter why… It hurts me the same.” With those sad little words Jay tried to move past but found himself engulfed warmly in my arms instead.

“Of course I want you!” I exclaimed before laughing, the ridiculousness of the situation hitting me. Jay tensed in my arms so I quickly explained, “You want to know why I was so angry? I wanted to hurt you, Jay… like you’d hurt me.”

“I didn’t…”

“Not knowingly… Shit, I’m such an idiot. Last night, I took it all wrong. I thought you meant you didn’t care, that it wouldn’t bother you if I slept with someone else.”

Jay pushed back enough to look up at me with a sorrowful confusion, “Why would you think that?”

“Because of that bloody idiot Barlin,” I sighed, pulling Jay close again, burying my face in the soft chocolate-coloured locks. My lover always smelt so sweet, so comfortingly familiar. I didn’t even know what the smell was, what shampoo he used but I adored that scent.

“Hal?”

“Hmm?” I trailed the fingers of one hand through the soft hair, always amazed by just how silky it was, “You smell so good.”

Jay sighed, leaning against me, “We were still talking. You can sniff my hair later.”

I chuckled, pulling him towards the bed, “Promise? You aren’t going to leave me?”

Jay’s gaze met mine, deathly serious, “Do you love me?”

“With all my heart,” I winced, “As corny as that sounds.”

“Then I’ll stay,” Jay curled his legs up on the bed, snuggling against my side, “But next time would you just talk to me instead of going all psycho and scaring the shit out of me?”

“Yeah,” I sighed, running a hand through my hair, my other arm wrapped tightly around Jay’s waist, “I’m really sorry about all of this. I should have just talked to you. It was just what he said… about our relationship being so simple, so easy. We always get along, never getting jealous or fighting over silly things like him and Ash always are. He made it sound like it was because we don’t have passion for each other, that we don’t care enough to fight with each other. I knew that wasn’t the case for me but I started thinking it was for you… I tried to test you, it was stupid and I know it but… Shit, I’m so sorry.”

“Haleth?” Jay sat up straight, delicate fingers cupping my face, “Did it never occur to you that maybe we just have a better relationship than they do? When we risk our lives daily why the hell would we waste our time arguing over who ate the last mars bar, or who scratched whose car? If they want to spend their time together arguing over trivial things, fine but I’d rather talk quietly with you over a bottle of wine or go for a long bushwalk, away from everyone.”

I really felt like an idiot, “When you put it like that it sounds so infuriatingly logical.” I pulled the slender man into my lap, burying my face in the silky hair again, breathing deeply. “Why do you have to be so goddamn smart? And why can’t you point out my stupidity before I act like an idiot?”

“Because, love,” Jay breathed the word softly, warming my heart, “I may be clever but I’m not psychic.” We just clung to each other for several comfortable minutes but he eventually pulled back, wincing a little, “You really should eat something… and when you’re done you can put some cream on my bruises. They’re starting to ache again.”

“Shit, Jay, I-”

Jay smiled, finger pressed lightly to my lips, “You’re sorry, I know. I forgive you so you needn’t say it again.”

---

I really wanted to say it again. I’d rushed though dinner, despite how patiently he waited, the sorcerer reading quietly as he lay on our bed. I longed to make up for the pain I’d caused my beloved but knew I never really could. I had tried anyway, running very careful fingers over the horribly dark bruises on Jay’s slim arm and delicate cheek. I went to squirt some more cream onto my fingers but he halted me, smiling tiredly, “You’ve already put half the tube on, Hal.”

“The more I put on the quicker they’ll heal,” I commented logically, frowning when he continued to stop me.

“Please,” Jay shuddered very lightly, “The rubbing’s making me feel sick.”

I could have slapped my forehead, of course, with bruises that nasty they were going to hurt when being constantly pressed. “I’m-”

“Sorry,” Jay sighed, looking exhausted, “I know, it’s alright. If you want to do something with your hands though… I won’t complain if you want to give me a massage.”

I smiled, leaning down to kiss a bare shoulder, “I always want to touch you, beautiful, you know that.” I got up to put the cream away, exchanging it for oil, “Lay on your stomach so I can start on your back.”

Jay twisted on the bed, getting comfortable, head resting on his arms. I knelt over him on the bed, brushing the lovely smelling hair aside carefully. Before using my hands I couldn’t help placing a few kisses to my lover’s milky skin. I smiled, murmuring against warm skin, “You taste so good.”

“Well just don’t take any bites, Hal,” Jay ordered sleepily causing me to chuckle.

“I promise, I’ll behave…” I trailed off, hands freezing before they could start. I looked down at my pale lover. Fine, delicate made bones, covered with slender muscle and warm skin. So strong and agile for a human, wiry and quick… yet infinitely fragile compared to immortal strength. The bruises my lover already carried… no human could have made them so dark, could have done such damage with their bare hands. The damage I could have done in my thoughtless anger… the damage I could still do if it happened again.

“Hal?” he turned enough to glance over his shoulder, sitting up when he saw the state I was in. Slender, infinitely fragile fingers touched my cheeks, brushing away the tears, “What is it, love? What’s wrong?”

“I could have…” I drew in a shuddering breath, “Killed you.”

“What?” the dark eyes widened in surprise, fingers falling to my shoulders, sitting there lightly. “No… you wouldn’t have, no matter how angry you were.”

I shook my head, feeling numb, “I lose myself in my anger.”

Jay dropped his head to my shoulder, hands sliding to trail lightly down my back, “You scared me, Hal. I’ve never seen you look so furious… Well, not at me. I was there when you tore those demons to pieces with the same anger.” He peeked up for a moment, “But they provoked you, they were our enemies. It’s true, you might have done some serious damage if I’d fought with you…” he lifted his head, brushing his lips against my cheek, “But, Hal, you seem to be forgetting that I know how to handle you.”

I tensed, bewildered “What?”

“Haleth,” Jay breathed my name, warmth brushing lightly across my skin, “Have more faith in me.” He placed another kiss to my skin, “Have more faith in yourself. You won’t kill me. I won’t let you and despite your fear you would never let yourself. Besides,” I felt him smile against my neck, “I thought we decided you were going to talk to me before going psycho again?”

I smiled, relaxing, “Ok, I admit it, you do know how to handle me.”

“Told you,” he gave one final light kiss before pulling away to lie back down on his stomach, “Now it’s your turn to handle me.”

I chuckled again, leaning forward to do as I was told. I really did love touching that lovely warm skin, so silky and smooth. He groaned in pleasure as I worked my hands over every part of his back, melting away all the tension that had been building over the past couple of days.

“Mmm… feels nice,” he practically purred, voice languid as he hovered on the verge of sleep.

I shifted my hands lower, studying my lover, my beautiful, absolutely gorgeous, very sexy… exhausted lover, “Oh, Jatinra.”

“Hmm?”

I stroked my lover’s dark hair tenderly, “Nothing, my lovely sorcerer, just sleep. I’ll take care of you.” I lay down next to the slender man, pulling him gently into my arms, letting him snuggle against me in his sleepy state. I still felt horrible for how I’d hurt the delicate sorcerer but I vowed it would never happen again. No one would ever hurt my fragile lover again, especially not me.