CREDITS

aka the super long ending author’s note

On March fifteenth, 2007, I was really… really bored. I thought, hey, remember RPing at The Demon Bar? Good times them was, yes indeed-y-oh, and decided that it would be entertaining to continue on the lost saga that was Sai Andiae’s Gaiaonline thread.

Except I really suck. A lot. The characters fell out of character, not doing what they should have but what my drama-starved mind thought would be better. The relationships twisted and turned into something that seemed plausible at first glance, but when you looked again you thought what the hell is wrong with this kid and SOOO I decided to, like, do a re-write. An original rewrite, instead of the lonely little roleplay fanfic it had started out as.

I’m sure that if you were part of the TDB crew, you can easily draw the parallels. I’m also sure you’ll be thinking that I’m a drama queen and there’s no way in the universe that your character would say or do something like that. I’m positive. Maybe you’ll be angry and hate me forever. I’m sorry, really.

But these aren’t your characters, not anymore. I guess you could said I made babies with your characters and these are the children NO I’M NOT A SLUT SCRATCH THAT EVEN THOUGH IT DOES ACTUALLY explain… things… well.

Yea, okay. I should try and not ramble, but I kind of want that said- I’m not trying to write you guys. I’m trying to write everything that wasn’t. I don’t know, I needed closure- didn’t it all get lost too quickly? Because that’s how I feel.

So, anyway, there we are. This isn’t some pure, untouched brainchild I spewed onto the looseleaf. I stole a lot of material (like, every single chapter title) and used a lot of references, inspirations. It was somewhat cathartic to write and a veritable learning experience.

Pocket Change closed at eighty-five handwritten pages, sans the pre-write, and that may not be a lot to sneeze at but it is to me because WOW I finished something. Ask anyone, that’s quite a rare occurrence, and this is something I’m happy to have done.

It’s not perfect, refined, or any of that jazz, but it’s written with the notes I love to sing. I couldn’t quite carry the tune the way I intended, but it’s a song that I’m happy to have the experience of. I wouldn’t change a thing- yes, okay, shut up about the technical stuff, of course I’d fix it up, but it went the way it wanted to and that’s totally cool.

It’s not over yet, not at all, there’s still the matter of Pocket Lint to slave through, the minor tweaky backstories that will answer some questions and open up others, but as for the people, here’s where they end. Show’s over. The only thing I have for them now are their memories. They’re on their own after that. I wish them all the best.

As I finished typing up the little ending of 18, good ol’ Windows queued up Although My Love is Small, the ending theme to Princess Tutu (shut up, it was awesome), and rocketed me into working on this ending note through the sheer force of nostalgia. I think it’s time I paid due to all the music and lines that inspired me during the course of Pocket Change, so here it is:

01: he’s got a smile that charms me plenty – “Diablo” – Etro Anime

02: had a drowning dream – “City” – Natalie Imbruglia

03: one lays up while the other lies down – “Empty” – Metric

04: good men, the last wave by – “Do Not Go Gentle into that Good Night” – Dylan Thomas

05: hesitation’s always mine – “IOU” – Metric

06: it is where you are not that the fissure occurs – “Preparation” – P.K. Page

07: on black racks rack me – “Prayer Before Birth” – Louis MacNeice

08: though life’s lived wrong side out – “Love’s Function is to Fabricate Unknownness” – E.E. Cummings

09: it burns me still softly – “Your Rain” – Akira Yamaoka

10: every roommate kept awake – “I Hate Everything About You” – Three Days Grace

11: while the whole moves; and every part stands still – “Love’s Function is to Fabricate Unknownness” – E.E. Cummings

12: a sun will always sing to you – “I Carry Your Heart With Me” – E.E. Cummings

13: my skeleton visits the casino – “My Skeleton Visits the Casino” – Catherine Hunter

14: felt up and fingerprinted, waiting for the train – “The Police and the Private” – Metric

15: even the vast sea of stars will be dyed blue – “Ao no Uta” – Asian Kung-Fu Generation

16: petals of a broken soul, falling all around me – “The Demon Ororon”, vol4 – Mizuki Hakase

17: the space between two worlds – “The Space Between Two Worlds” – Nujabes

18: my man’s got a heart like a rock that’s in the sea – “About Her” – Malcolm McLaren

Cool, okay. So, as much as I wrote this for myself, I really do enjoy being read by others. Thank you to anyone who has read, is going to read, or finished reading Pocket Change, and all the people who’ve taken the time to review or talk to me about it. I really appreciate it, I do.

And you know what? That’s all.

Yea.

That’s all.