Oober Yuckems and Missy Moo
Save a Nonexistant Snail From a Tree

It was a beautiful day in Apple Ya-Ya. The birds were singing lovely hymns to the rhythm of the people's happy gossiping. There was a terrible rumor flying around on this glorious day. Someone had began saying that Missy Moo was going to eat all the lemons in town if she didn't get a toenail for her dying snail.

Now, there are two things one needs to know before continuing. First, Apple Ya-Ya was a very nice town, but it revolved around its excessive gossip. Rumors were like oxygen for the people, and they came up with stories from who would replace the mayor to why the squirrels were stealing chocolate. The rumors didn't usually come between anyone, because everyone in town knew that most of the rumors were lies. But when it was something as big as, let's say, someone eating all the lemons in the town, the people of Apple Ya-Ya were known to give the worst "cold shoulder" in the world.

Another thing one should know is that snails in Apple Ya-Ya, and no where else in the world, have toenails on their shells. The toenails are like the roots of trees, and it they lose their toenail, they lose their life. Missy Moo had no snail, but any snail-owner in Apple Ya-Ya would say that they would give anything to save theirs.

So now we look back to the wonderful day in Apple Ya-Ya, when the rumor began about Missy Moo and her lemon-theiving plot to save her snail. Missy Moo was skipping down the road to Oober Yuckems's home, a basket of toast in one hand and a fat book in the other. As she skipped, she sang,

"Oh, I have a book, a book have I; And this book is as good as a cake!; I shall bring this good cake book to my dear friend now; And he shall be as happy as a rattle snake!"

Now, this song was all nonsense of course, for Oober Yuckems had ten copies of this book in his closet, and rattle snakes were not at all happy folk. But Missy Moo hummed her song as she skipped, and as she skipped she hummed her song. She spotted Mr. Loo Llama watering his garden in front of his shop, and she skipped to him, still humming her little tune.

"Hello, Mr. Loo Llama!" she chirped. "How goes the flower shop?"

Mr. Loo Llama looked up from his garden and squinted through his smudgy spectacles. Finally, he managed to see who it was, and it was Missy Moo. He dropped his watering can and backed away slowly, fear and panic in his face.

"Please, no," he said, reaching for his door. "Not my lemons! Anything but my lemons!"

Missy Moo raised an eyebrow. "Lemons? Why in Apple Ya-Ya would I want your lemons?"

"Please, just go away!" he screamed as he stepped inside his flower shop. He slammed the door shut behind him and flipped the "OPEN" sign so that it read "CLOSED".

Missy Moo stared in puzzlement for a while, and then turned and continued skipping towards Oober Yuckems's home. She began to notice that the streets were empty, and all the shops and businesses were closed.

"Where has everyone gone?" she wondered aloud. She cought a glimpse of a little goat child peeking out of a window at her, but the beast's mother pulled it away and closed the curtains. "How odd."

When she arrived at the muffin shop, Missy Moo was pleased to see that it was still open. The tables were empty and the room was vacant except for the little smell-goat who owned it. She waved merrily at him, but he just cowered in a corner, clutching a box of lemons.

Missy Moo knocked on the door to Oober Yuckems's home, and he opened it, smiling.

"Hello, Missy Moo!" he said. "Come in, come in!"

Missy Moo sighed with relief and went inside, sitting at the little table. Oober Yuckems wandered over to the stove, where he had been making tea.

"Thank goodness you are still my friend, Oober Yuckems!" cried Missy Moo.

"Sweet Missy Moo," said Oober Yuckems, chuckling. "Why would I not be your friend?"

"Oh, I don't know, Oober Yuckems! On the way here, everyone was acting very peculiar, hiding in their houses and refusing to speak to me. Mr. Loo Llama started yelling something about lemons, and he ran away from me!"

Oober Yuckems poored a bit of tea into a cup for Missy Moo, and then prepared one for himself. "That's odd. Have you done something to him?"

"No! No, Oober Yuckems, I haven't!" explained Missy Moo, sipping her tea. "I don't know why everyone is acting this way."

Oober Yuckems went to his window and looked outside. The streets were lined with busy people, walking along, and children laughed and played in the yards.

"It appears that everyone is outside now," said he. Missy Moo jumped up and ran to the window. She gasped, pointing speechlessly at the people.

"But...they...I...saw..." she was so confused. Suddenly, a little man pointed up toward them and began shouting something. Everyone followed his gaze, and terror struck them. They began scrambling around, running into nearby homes and shops. The street was empty in seconds.

"How strange," said Oober Yuckems.

"Oh, it's awful!" cried Missy Moo. "I've done something terrible, I just know it! And now the town hates me! Oh, Oober Yuckems, I'm so sorry! I'll leave you so that you will not be humiliated any longer."

"Missy Moo, what ever do you mean?" said Oober Yuckems.

"It must be dreadful being seen with me, after what I did."

"But what have you done?"

Missy Moo looked at him and shrugged. "I don't know, but it must have been bad."

"Oh, Missy Moo!" said Oober Yuckems, hugging his little friend. "No matter what you do, you will always be my friend!"

Missy Moo smiled and looked out at the empty town. "Though I could easily live with only my best friend for company, I wish I knew why everyone was acting so peculiar."

"Would you it if I asked someone?" suggested Oober Yuckems.

"Oh, would you?"

"Of course!" said Oober Yuckems. "Just stay here and drink your tea. I will be back in a while." He set the tea kettle back on the stove and put on a jacket. Downstairs, the goat was still hiding behind the counter of his muffin shop. Upon seeing that it was not Missy Moo, the goat cried out with relief and began sorting his muffins.

Oober Yuckems wandered out onto the street, which was once again filled with people, for Missy Moo could not be seen from the window. He found an older woman sitting on a bench whilst she blissfully ate a sandwich that contained tuna.

"Hello," said Oober Yuckems.

The woman didn't seem to hear him, and she continued eating.

"Hello?" repeated the chicken man. "You there! Don't ignore me, it is rude!"

But the woman was completely oblivious to Oober Yuckems's shouting. He sighed and walked away, finding a rather chubby child kicking a ball against the side of a building.

"Hello, child!" said Oober Yuckems.

"Hello, Oober Yuckems," replied the child.

"Tell me, child, why the good people of Apple Ya-Ya cower behind their homes' walls whenever Missy Moo comes near?"

"Oh, you see, Oober Yuckems, Missy Moo is quite evil, or so everyone says," said the child, still kicking at the ball. "According to the adults, Missy Moo is going to steal all the lemons in Apple Ya-Ya!"

"Why in the name of Moosey Moose would she do that?" asked Oober Yuckems.

"To get a new toenail for her snail, of course."

"But she has no snail," said Oober Yuckems. He patted the child on the head and wandered off, pondering a way to get everyone to like Missy Moo again. Finally, an idea hit him.

He went up to a group of women in pink bonnets. These were the Gossip Bonnet Girlies, and they spread all the rumors in Apple Ya-Ya. Oober Yuckems approached them and waved. They watched him curiously.

"So, have you heard?" he asked.

Their eyebrows perked upward. "No, heard what?"

"Oh, well, today, my turtle climbed up a tree, but it got stuck!"

The Gossip Bonnet Girlies' interest flattened. "So?"

"Well, Missy Moo saved him, and then she gave her only lemon, the one she would use to get her snail a toenail, to the blind!"

The ladies smiled. "Really?" Oober Yuckems nodded, and they scattered off across town to spread the word of Missy Moo's good deeds. Oober Yuckems returned to his home and found Missy Moo drinking her tea silently.

"Well?" she asked.

"I have taken care of it," announced Oober Yuckems. "It is safe to go out into public now."

Missy Moo smiled and took his hand. Oober Yuckems led the way through the muffin shop, where the goat waved and the customers grinned. In the street, everyone continued on their way without running from Missy Moo. A little girl even gave her a flower. It was all well for Missy Moo, and the rumors never involved Missy Moo, her non-existant snail, or lemons again...