Dear Family

Dear Friends

I’m sorry

I must go

I am lost

So very alone

Don’t think of me

No one did when I was still here.

Don’t miss me

Because I was never there once before.

I’m sorry to cause you pain

But mine was too much to bear.

I’m sorry to bring this burden upon you

But mine crushed me in the end.

I fought for as long as I could

But I guess it wasn’t enough

I never thought I’d give in

But apparently I was too weak.

It hurts me to know how much you hurt

But that just adds to the hurt I already have.

Its not fair to make me to live

Its not fair to let me die.

I don’t know what started this

But I know this is the end.

I can’t understand why

But I know it’ll be no longer.

As soon as the deed is done

I will then finally be free.

I’m sorry mother

For being so selfish.

I’m sorry sister

For being such a burden.

I love you so much

That’s why I must do this.

I thought I could deal with this

On my own.

And this is how I’ve decided

Would be the very best possible way.

I have nothing more to live for

Nothing left of my pathetic life.

I am worth nothing

Just another being in the sea of billions

So what’s the deal

If I subtract one.

You won’t miss me

After too long

I won’t blame you

I wouldn’t miss me either.

I’m so sick of this

I hate feeling this way

I hate not being able to feel

Or only feeling pain.

If this is what life is

I want no part of it

A senseless, uncaring force

Driving us along.

Not caring about the outcome.

So, dear family

My dear friends

It is time for me to go

I love you so much

But I cannot love myself.

I can’t mean anything to the world

When I don’t mean anything to myself

Take care of yourselves

Don’t remember this

Don’t remember the scarlet painting

Splattered all over my bedroom floor

Don’t remember the gun lodged in my hand

A symbol of the value of life

Remember the fun we had

Remember the memories we’ve made

But most of all please

Just remember me.

Signed, your loving Daughter