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“No!”
I didn’t even attempt to say it nicely. After all, I knew exactly what my mother was doing. I huffed whilst keeping my eyes glued to the television set, not really understanding the latest storyline on Coronation Street involving David Platt.
My mother wasn’t one to give up and bustled in from the kitchen and plonked herself down next to me. “Kerry, please? This is his last night in England, have some curtsey. He won’t be seeing any of his friends and family for a long time.” She tried to reason with me but I was having none of it.
“I’m not his friend mum. I’m never going to be his friend. If you want to go around there tonight, I’m not stopping you, but I’m going to Darren’s and then I’m staying the night at Dad’s. It’s the second weekend of the month. I always go to Dad’s on the second weekend of the month. That’s how it’s always been.”
My mother stayed calm and composed. “I telephoned your father and told him about the situation. He’s more than happy to change your visit to next weekend. Unless of course you want to go with him, Elizabeth and Robbie to Elizabeth’s parent’s house for the weekend.” I didn’t miss the tone of my mother’s voice. Her divorce with my dad might have been easy but that didn’t mean that she had to like his new wife. It wasn’t as if Beth was a witch or anything, but her constant babying everyone was enough to drive anyone up the wall. And her parents were even worse. I nearly thanked my mum for getting me out of the visit but remembered why she had done it in the nick of time. “Mother, I have to say, you play this game better than me.”
“ I know Dear. So does that mean that you are coming with me?” Her tone was sickeningly sweet. My mother was anything but sweet.
“That depends. Can I bring Darren with me?” I knew that would have her totally wound up.
“You are not bringing you boyfriend with you! If you can even call him that.”
“No, I would call him something else entirely, something starting with f and ending in buddy. But I don’t think it’s appropriate to say in front of a forty-nine year old.” I tired to keep my smirk to myself as my mum’s eye’s widened to the point where I thought that they were gong to pop out of her head. I had conveniently forgot to mention that I had only slept with the guy once as a stupid drunken mistake and that we were anything but fuck buddies.
By this time my mother’s face was bright red and was ready to explode with a lecture on how ‘making love’ was for people that were ‘in love’ with each other and not as a feel-good tool.
“Calm down mum! You really need to learn how to take a joke. And besides, I am twenty-one is a couple of months. I have been able to have sex for nearly five years you know.”
“Yes, I am aware of how old you are thank you very much,” she huffed. As if it was my fault that I was getting older. She continued, “And I am grateful that you came back this weekend so you can spend time with your family.” She hugged me in the maternal way that all mothers do.
“Exactly my point. I came all the way home just so that I could spend time with you and now I found out that you are making me go to this dinner for him.” I smiled as innocently as a four-year-old child. “So does this mean that I don’t have to go?”
“No chance. You were going to spend the entire weekend quite happily with your father, with no concern for me.”
“Mum…” I started to come up with a valid reason as to why I shouldn’t have to go but at this point I was clutching at straws. I left my sentence unfinished.
“No Buts young lady. Get up those stairs and change into something decent. We are leaving in half an hour.” With her words being the last of the discussion, she walked out of the room and back into the kitchen.
I called after her, not wanting her to have the final say, even though there really was nothing that I could do about it. “FINE! But I’m only staying there until nine. There’s a really good film that’s on tonight and I don’t want to miss it.” I sulked all the way up the staircase like a moody teenager, and put on the first top and skirt that I found. Sure the top was sleeveless and the skirt above the knee, but that didn’t mean I was doing it for him. After all, he was a jerk and would always be a jerk. Anyway, I’ve always said that people should take pride in their appearance. I paused to take a breather after applying minimal make-up and grabbing a pair of flat sandals, silently praising myself for painting my toenails that morning. After reassuring myself that the night wasn’t going to be that bad, I made my way downstairs and wordlessly followed my mum out of the front door.
“Matt, if you take one more step towards me, I swear I will make sure that you will never be able to have children,” I growled before pushing passed him with more force than was necessary. My own mother had dismissed his vulgarity as flirting and laughed along with the turd-brain.
Unfortunately for me, dinner went by in the same way, with Matt’s father sitting at the top of the table, our mothers on one side and us on the other. The oldies talked amongst themselves and Matt hadn’t stopped badgering me all night with his lewd comments. The guy seriously had issues.
“Come on Kez, there’s no point in denying it. You want me. Plain and simple. And tonight’s the night that you can get it.” Matt put his hand on my knee but retracted it as soon as my sandal came into contact with his shin. His hiss in pain caused our parents to look over. Simultaneously, Matt and I smiled innocently, having been used to this situation for years.
“Do you need me to remind you about the letter?” Matt leaned close to my ear and barely whispered the words.
I choked on a piece of boiled carrot and gulped down a large swig of white wine. “I don’t know what you are talking about.” My voice was raspy from the choking. I was so dead.
“Oh really? I guess you don’t remember the letter that you wrote to me in year 11 confessing your undying love for me. I think that I still have it upstairs in my room. Let me go find it…” The prat began to get up out of his chair but I grabbed his sleeve and yanked him back down.
“Are you sick or something? I wrote that when I was like two,” I hissed in a low voice. My heart was pounding as I remembered the embarrassment of that day. Walking into the classroom with him reading the damn letter to all of our classmates. Me crying my eyes out in the cloakroom and vowing that I would never love another guy again. That was the night that I had got so drunk and lost my virginity to Darren and that was the night that Darren told me he was gay.
“For your information you were a geeky sixteen-year-old. And I know that you still like me.” His smug grin was returning.
“Yeah and that’s why I slept with another guy at Jimmy’s party that very same night.” I knew that it was a cheap shot but he was getting to me and there really was only so much that I could take before snapping.
He looked surprised. “You did? I didn’t think that little geek had it in her. If I had known that you would turn out the way that you did, I would have never rejected a fuck.”
He had passed the threshold of nasty comments and I lost it. I stood up out of my chair so fast that the chair toppled over behind me. “Urgh, you are so disgusting. I hope you die in Iraq you cunt!” The whole room went quite and I heard Matt’s mother take in a sharp breath. I didn’t dare to look at my mother as I could already picture her horrified expression. It was her loud voice that finally broke the silence. “Kerry Ann Cunningham, you apologise right now! What you said was unforgivable.” She was fuming. Even Matt was slightly taken aback by my comment. After all we’d known each other all of our lives, how could I imagine not having someone to hate all of the time?
“Sorry,” I whispered as the shock of maybe never seeing him again hit me. There was an actual chance that he was never coming back to London. I excused myself from the table and walked out to the back garden. Mary, Matt’s mother, followed me out shortly after. I felt the need to apologise to her personally. “Sorry for what I said. It was so wrong of me.”
She shook her head as if to tell me not o give it another thought. “I know you didn’t mean it. And besides, I know how much he goads you.” She smiled sadly. “I know he’s not the nicest person in the world to you but would you mind doing me a favour?”
“Sure,” I said smiling back at her. Mary and Joe weren’t half bad, so what had happened to their son?
“Matt has planned a farewell party at one of the nightclubs in Leicester Square and loads of people are going to be there. Can you go with him and keep an eye on things?”
I knew about the party. Most of my friends were going. But was I seriously going to go to the farewell party of my worst enemy? I looked hesitantly at Mary’s pleading face and had to give in. “Um…okay, yeah. Just give me the name of the club.” We sorted out the details and headed back to the dining room to finish up dessert and tell Matt that I was his plus one.
“No way, she’s going to ruin everything,” he whined. I could tell exactly what he was thinking. If he turned up with me, it would be like sending a message to all of the other girls in the vicinity that he was taken. And that didn’t agree one bit with his plans of getting laid.
“That’s exactly what I’m planning to do.” I ignored his suggestive smug and dragged him to the door so we could walk to the tube station. As I reached the barriers he stopped me.
“Wait, I need to top up my oyster card,” he said striding over to the machine. I lent against the wall and watched him press the touch-screen machine. He really wasn’t bad looking. He could even pass off as a decent guy if he kept his mouth shut.
“Are you going to stand there all night and drool over me? Because I have places to be and I’d rather not be present,” he said as I shook those crazy thoughts out of my head and hurried after him through the barrier.
As we got on to the train I thought that small talk would be the best way to pass the time. “So you are looking forward to going?”
“I’m going to fight in a foreign country, what do you think?” he grumbled picking up a rouge copy of the London Lite from a empty, nearby seat in the carriage just so that he wuldn’t have to speak to me.
But I wasn’t one to be ignored. “Oh come on. Cut the bullshit. This is me you’re talking to. You wouldn’t go if you didn’t want to, so save the patriotic carp for some girl’s knickers that you could actually get into.”
I could tell that I hit a nerve as he slammed down the newspaper and faced me. “Patriotic crap? Kez, it’s called not being selfish for once in your life. Maybe you should try it.”
“Not being selfish? That’s rich coming from you. You have a mum, a dad, two sisters, a niece and a nephew. You are leaving them all behind. Your mother’s heart is breaking right now but you don’t even give a shit. So go to Iraq and place the big bad solider, and pretend that you are doing it for the good of humanity. When it comes down to it you are just as selfish as the rest of us.” I finished my speech just as the train started to slow down.
“THE NEXT STATION IS LECIESTER SQUARE. CHANGE HERE FOR THE NORTHERN LINE.”
“This is our stop,” I said, noticing that the rest of the people on the carriage were staring at us.
“Just stay away from me this evening got it? I just agreed to you tagging along to keep my sweet. We go our separate ways now and I’ll come find you when I want to go home. Got that?” He walked away quickly and due to the hoards of people at the station I lost him almost immediately.
Instead of submitting to his whim, I smirked to myself and dug out my mobile phone from my handbag.
To: Matt (The Wanker)
Message: Aren’t u 4gettin Sumfing? u need me 2 get into the club. Or being a single guy, do you want 2 pay double?
I hit the send button and sure enough as I reached the club I could see that Matt was waiting outside, by himself with the bouncers in full view.
I kissed Matt on the cheek, making sure that the bouncers could see and hear perfectly. “Sorry I’m late babe,” turning to a heavy bouncer I gave him a beaming smile and walked straight up to one of the ladies working at the door. After showing our ID and telling her that Matt’s name was on the guest-list she handed me two plastic cards with £5.00 written on them. After paying and putting our stuff in the cloakroom we headed through the door.
Matt shouted in my ear as the bass of the dance music engulfed us both. “Now go and disappear like a good little girl.”
I held back the rude comments that were threatening to pour out of me, and repeatedly told myself that it was his last night in London and that I should go and spoil it for him no matter how much I wanted to.
“Katie!” I screamed as I saw one of my best friends from high school walk up to me. I hugged her briefly and then held her at arms length so that I could have a good look at her. She had chopped off her long blonde hair and styled it with loose curls and a fringe. “Oh my gosh. You look so good. How’s Nottingham treating you?”
“Yeah, it’s really good. I just love my English course,” she started. We talked over the music for a good ten minutes before we hit the bar and got a couple of rounds in with some guys that were looking us up. Sure, they weren’t that good looking but if they were paying for drinks I wasn’t complaining.
Andrew, I think his name was, pulled me to the dance floor and by that time I was too intoxicated to care who I was dancing with, and who was watching. Somehow we ended up grinding against each other which I was completely okay with. What I wasn’t okay with was the fact that his hands had suddenly started to wonder and I really didn’t know what to do. I failed to get Katie’s attention as she was too busy dancing with another guy. I desperately searched the crowd for a familiar face to help me out and unfortunately came into eye contact with none other than the Wanker himself. At first Matt smirked at the fact that I was grinding with another guy until he saw that Andrews hands were not so innocently placed. I gave him a pleading look and thankfully he strode over in my direction.
“I think that’s enough feeling up for you.” He said to Andrew, removing the offending hands from me.
“Hey! What do you think you’re playing at? We were dancing pal.” Andrew tried to get hold of me again but Matt stood in front o me like a shield.
“She’s with me. You’ve had your fun mate. Now beat it.” Matt shoved him slightly and fortunately he got the picture. Grumbling something about how he was never going to waste money on a girl before she had put out, he walked away. Just as I was about to thank him, Matt left me on the dance floor and left me to watch him hi-five his mates and laugh about what had just happened. So much for the knight-in-shining-armour routine.
The commotion had meant that Darren had found me shortly after, and we headed back to the dance floor with another couple of vodka’s inside us until Matt wanted to go home.
“Oi! What did you do that for?” he moaned shaking his head, in a similar way to a dog, but seconds later he grabbed his head in pain. “Oh man, that was a crap idea.” Leaning against the door to prop himself up, Matt attempted to rummage in his pockets for his house keys but couldn’t find them. Getting irritated, I decided the best option would be to search him myself seeing as I could stand up by myself at this point. “Hey! Watch where you are putting your hands woman! This could be seen as a form of sexual assault.” His slur was barely audible and I ignored his comment as I traced my hands over is body. I might have disapproved of his chosen carer but I had to admit that all the physical work-outs were doing him a hell of a lot of good. As much as I wanted to deny it, I had to use all my will power to not get turned on. No matter how much I hated the guy, my hormones were raging more than ever. After what seem like hours, I finally managed to locate the keys in the back pocket of his jeans of all places. And though I mentally cheered myself at the victory, I was slightly disappointed in removing my hands. We giggled and shushed ourselves into the hallway, until I realised that I wasn’t in my own home and that I should say my goodbyes.
I handed Matt back his keys. “Well, see you when you get back. There’s no doubt that you will be the honorary guest at another dinner when you get home and I’ll have to be dragged to it.” I removed my sandals and let them hang on my fingers. Who ever hear of flat shoes being painful?
“That is if I ever come back.” I could safely say that he was now at the depression stage of his drunkenness.
“Somehow, I don’t think that I will be that lucky,” I joked tying to lighten the mood. I punched him on the shoulder lightly. “You night be a totally wanker, but I am going to miss you Matthew Alfred Jackson.” Matt grimaced at his middle name as I grinned.
“Going to miss you too, Kerry-Ann Louisa Cunningham,” he mocked and smiled sadly. I trudged over and kissed him on the cheek as a sign of comfort, and realised that I was clearly not sober. “Sorry you didn’t get laid tonight.” I was actually being sincere.
Matt grinned mischievously, “You could still help me out with that.” He came closer to me in what was meant to be a seductive manner but the smell of alcohol on his breathe just made my head cloudy all over again.
I knew that I should have pushed hi away, but a voice in my head told me that it was a good idea. That I was just helping out a neighbour. And the fact that I like this guy in another lifetime had absolutely nothing to do with it. It really was no big deal. “Fine, lead the way to your bedroom.”
Matt took a step back and squinted at me for a good minute as if to figure out whether or not I was joking or not but shrugged and said, “You coming or what?”
I dropped my sandals without thinking, locked the front door before following him up.
“God no! You passed out before you could take your clothes off.” He covered himself with the duvet and turned his back towards me. I looked down at myself and sure enough I was fully dress apart from my cord jacket that was lying in a heap on the floor. I breathed a sigh of relief. I checked the bedside clock and moaned. It was already nine in the morning. There was no way that my mum would believe that I had slept at home. “Help me get out of your house!” I said pulling the covers away and gawping involuntarily as I came face to face with Matt in nothing but his boxers. Why the hell did he have to be so hot?
“What the fuck?” he said looking around.
This at least gave me some time to recover. “Unlock the back door so I can get out.” I spoke slowly so he could understand what with his brain being the size of a peanut. I felt disgusted with myself for ever having tried to have slept with the guy and picked up my jacket and bag with Matt grudgingly following behind.
We managed to creep down and get to the kitchen with no problem seeing as his parents were late risers on the weekends. “Okay…well…bye,” I said lamely a he opened the door and I walked out. Matt was standing barefoot, still in only his boxers, chugging down a carton of Tropicana, as I turned back to face him. I cleared my throat before asking the dreaded question. “What exactly did we do last night?”
He shrugged in a nonchalant way. “Not much. Kissing and a bit of groping. That kind of stuff,” he said reaching into a cupboard to pull out a bowl, a spoon and a box of Coco Pops.
“Um…Okay.” I cursed to myself for sounding so repetitive.
He raised an eyebrow at me as he dug into his breakfast. “What are you still doing here? Do you want some cereal?” His voice was slightly muffled as he spoke with a mouthful of milky mush and began to push the box in my direction.
I wondered why I wasn’t able to come up with a quirky answer, but I had a feeling that it had something to do with the fact that he was wearing limited clothes. “No, ta. See you.” This time I walked up to the fence that separated our two gardens, without turning back and licked my lips. At least that solved the mystery as to why they felt sore. Climbing over the fence, and ripping my skirt in the process, I crash landed onto the overgrown lawn. I attempted to sneak in through the back door without my mother noticing that I hadn’t spent the night at home, but there was no such luck. She eyed me suspiciously as she cooked breakfast.
“Why on earth are you coming in through the back garden?” she asked.
I had to think on my feet. “Because I slept in the garden last night?”
My mother narrowed her eyes. “What are you talking about?” She was frying a full English breakfast and the smell was starting to make me feel nauseous. Damn the alcohol.
I had just one second to conjure up a story so I stuck with the basic truth and twisted where it was necessary. “Well…Matt and I got out of the cab and Matt was totally pissed so I had to get him inside and then I went out of their garden and passed out in the our garden before I could unlock the door. If you don’t believe me, check the receipt.” I fumbled in my handbag for the small square of paper and handed it to her, pointing out the numbers 03:04 indicating the time of arrival.
“I’m sorry dear, I just thought…” She looked ashamed of herself for believing the worst in me.
“I know what you thought. Believe me; I didn’t have sex with anyone last night. Ask Matt if you don’t.” My mother smiled at me and told me to sit down for breakfast. “No thanks. I’d rather not.”
“Oh well, more for me,” she said plating up extra baked beans, hash browns, sausages and eggs. “By the way, Mary was wondering if you could take Matthew to the airport today,” she added with the lightest of tones.
“I stifled a yawn with the back of my hand. “Please tell me that you told her I was busy?”
“Umm…Not exactly. You have to be around there in an hour. So if you want any hot water for your shower you better be quick. There’s still some left.”
Before I knew it, I was ringing the doorbell of the Jackson house. The house that I ha been in a little over an hour ago. Unfortunately, Matt opened the door, but at least he was fully dressed. He came out with his duffel bag and slammed the door firmly shut.
“Don’t you want to say goodbye to your family?” I inquired.
“They are all in there. Mum, Dad, Sarah, Lucy and the kids. All crying their eyes out. Mum’s the worst. I was begging to think that you were never coming.”
I was shocked by his attitude. “They are only crying because they love you,” I said as we got into the car and drove through the town centre. Thankfully it was a Saturday so there was no congestion charge, or I would have point blank refused to drive him.
He shrugged. “Does that mean you’re going to cry too?”
“No, because that would imply I care about you. And before I forget, you owe me ten pounds,” I added as I remembered the cab journey home.
“What for!?” he exclaimed.
“The cab ride home. I would really like it before you go.” I took one of my hands off the steering wheel and stuck it out towards him, without taking my eyes off the road.
“I need all money right now, can’t you just let it slide for once?” he asked, trying to worm his way out of paying his share.
“No way, I want payment as soon as you get back!” there was no way that I was going to pay for him.
“You keep forgetting where I’m going.”
“Don’t say that,” I said firmly.
“I’m only saying what everyone is thinking,” he replied.
I couldn’t think of anything that wouldn’t sound superficial so I remained silent.
The goodbye at the airport was swift. We even managed a quick hug before he was on his way. I made sure not to let my mind linger too much on what he was letting himself in for and where he was going.
It was easy to put Matt too the back of my mind; out of sight, out of mind. And by the time I was back at university halls it was all forgotten, until six months later.
I had started my first job when the phone rang…
Updates will take forever now that I have started university…
And if you hadn’t guessed, this story is set in lovely London!! So if so of you guys don’t understand stuff like oyster cards etc, I will be happy to explain….
It takes thirty two weeks to train in the army here before you can be sent anywhere in the world, though the Ministry of Defence is reluctant to let 16-17 year olds go, so to make it believable, Matt is 21.
Please review…I would love to hear comments…
Hopefully I will be able to update soon
DDF
XXX
