What’s that word again?

Oh, love.

--

It was him.

Those were the three words that were forced into my mind.

My breath hitched, watching as he headed to class. Who was he? I don’t know. He didn't look like he belonged here, at least not to me, so why was he? Here, I mean. And why had I never seen him before? And what – I couldn’t even finish my train of thought, it mind-boggled me so much.

Who was he? I don’t know, but I do know; he was tall, but built. It was obvious that he worked out (more than a little) and normally, that turned me off from a guy, but for some reason, he stood out from the crowd and the rest of the steroid-pushing athletes that can’t even pronounce their own name. A modest polo shirt and A&E jeans completed the outfit, the light colors accentuating his dark tan. Nondescript brown hair emphasized piercing green eyes that would haunt me in my dreams for weeks to come.

"Do you know who that was?" I asked MC with some difficulty. It was like I had lost all control of my body in just those five seconds, even my mouth. That’s saying a lot seeing because I almost never shut up. So when I actually do, it’s huge.

"Who?" My best friend looked around, confused, her brown eyes searching for the person I was talking about.

I was so out of it that I just didn’t want to get into it. "Nobody, just nobody."

We started to walk to class together and I caught some worried glances from her, but I was still something like awestruck. MC’s a little bit of a worrier because she cares so much about people, and me being awestruck? Never happens.

The rest of the day passed by pretty much like a haze, and I can't remember much. Not that it’s surprising. I only have the worst memory ever.

But still, it was so weird. Something like this never happens to me. I mean, sure there are always surprises in life, but this was a new one. I couldn’t be hallucinating – I was in school when it happened! Wait, that means I was hallucinating…

Just kidding.

I didn’t want to be hallucinating. Please don’t let me be hallucinating.

A good night's sleep revived me, but I was still a bit off. As I turned the matter over and over in my mind, I wondered how just a glimpse of this guy could send me off into my own little cloud nine. I didn't know him and I had never seen him before. So what was this?

--

"What's wrong with you?"

I looked at April, another best friend. "What do you mean?”

"You’re not… you." She looked at me expectantly, her green eyes worried.

I wanted to tell her, I really did. But I didn't want to jinx it. Things like this never happen to me. I know I keep saying this, but it’s true. I live a completely normal lifestyle and nothing exciting ever happens in my town. So what the hell?

"I don't know what you’re talking about."

She looked at me, exasperated with my behavior, but I guess she didn’t want to make it worse. At least not right now.

I heard MC and April talking about it;

"She was fine yesterday morning," April said, looking at MC for the answers.

"She just stopped around lunchtime." MC glanced at me to make sure I couldn't hear their conversation, but I pretended to be daydreaming. Not that it was that hard.

"I have no clue what it was, even though we have lunch together. I mean, it was just weird." They both just shook their heads at me, not understanding my behavior.

I looked for him as MC and I left the cafeteria, but I didn't even get a glimpse. I mean, I was practically stalking the place (No, I am NOT a professional stalker. Amateur, maybe, but not professional!) and still no sign of the guy.

By like the 4th day, my friends were over it. I wouldn’t tell them and they were tired of asking.

But I was losing hope; I still hadn’t seen him. I knew it; he really was too good to be true and people who go to my high school... well, they aren't.

I mean, I've lived in the small town of Jackson Hole, Wyoming all my life, (no, there isn’t an actual hole. It’s more of a valley) and there's only one elementary, one middle and one high school. So why was he so new to me? Okay, so he could be new, but I have eyes and ears everywhere and I hadn't heard of a new student since my senior year started two months ago.

To speak in IM, WTF?

That entire conversation with myself went through my head about fifty times. I almost wanted to shoot myself. It just randomly popped into my head, like when I’m at school, sleeping, even when I was in the bathroom for heaven’s sake! Okay, maybe not the bathroom, but you get the gist.

All day Saturday, I refused to go out. I mean, I had just experienced the biggest letdown of my life and my friends wanted me to go out?! No way, ain’t happening.

So, what exactly did I do? I pigged out on Ben & Jerry’s Chubby Bunny, of course, and watched reruns of 'Charmed'. Who can beat that?

Exactly, no one.

Except MC, April, and Keira, didn’t seem to think so. They all conspired (AGAINST me!) and decided to drag me out of my house on Sunday.

Before I move on though, I should probably explain to you the complex relationship between me, April, MC and Keira. We’re best friends. I've known MC and April since I was in kindergarten, but I've been best friends with them only since 7th grade. We adopted Keira in the middle of our sophomore year. She was just lucky enough to find us, a little late albeit because she moved here her freshman year, but she now gets to experience our awesomeness (act like I have an amazing vocabulary, alright?) full-time.

Our little group, by the way, is rather interesting if I do say so myself. See, MC was born here, but her parents are official New Yorkers. This gave her a sort of crazy personality. And when I say sort of, I’m comparing her to April, not all of the people in the rest of the world you call normal. Still, MC is really proud of ‘being’ from New York, so we always poke fun at her for it. MC is also kind of a tomboy. So much so that it’s surprising that she has three girls as her best friends. We are about the only girls she hangs out with.

Now, April. She’s… not normal. Like at all. She’s not the prettiest girl you’ve ever seen, but she has a crazy personality. She basically acts like she’s on crack 24/7 and she’s also really outgoing and is the type of person you either love or you hate.

We just happen to love her.

Keira is the stable person of our group. She’s the kind of person that does all her homework on time, volunteers at the hospital and still manages to have a life and a boyfriend. But we’re not jealous because, without her, our group would be so out there, we’d be in space.

Wow, original aren’t I?

Anyway, the trio dragged me to the mall. Not, of course, before they made me change. And of course, they picked the outfit for me, did my hair and my make-up. By the time I was literally forced into MC’s silver Honda Civic (a hybrid, nonetheless), I was wearing jeans and a tank top, my brown hair was clipped back and my blue eyes stood out because of all the eyeliner and mascara they forced onto my eyes. My poor, overworked eyes.

“But I don’t want to!” I whined to them, my mood sour because they had disrupted my comfort. We were headed to the only mall in Jackson Hole, 30 minutes away.

“Too bad.” April said from the passenger sear. I slumped down further into the seat, crossing my arms.

“But-” April turned the radio up to the point where we couldn’t hear anything but Sean Kingston’s ‘Beautiful Girls’ as I tried to continue protesting against my kidnapping. I cringed. Isn’t it a little old and overplayed to be that loud?

Keira shot me a sympathetic glance and only smiled.

I stuck my tongue out at her in response.

--

Okay, I lied. It wasn’t the only mall in Jackson Hole. It was, however, the only mall not crowded to death by tourists. JH’s malls are set up and specially priced for them. See, Wyoming is a beautiful place, and it seems like everyone in the world wants to see beautiful places whether they are vacationing, are on business or whatever. It just so happens that JH is the tourist attraction of Wyoming, with the little-known Yellowstone Park nearby. (cough) We still only have a population of like 8,000. And all of the kids I go to school with go to the mall 30 minutes away. We call it ‘the mall.’ (It’s named after some dead guy that we just stopped trying to remember) See where I get my originality?

We got there after listening to 20 minutes of pure hip-hop songs. Not that I mind hip-hop, really I don’t, it’s just MC’s taste in music is… interesting. In other words, it gives you a headache after awhile, especially at high volumes.

I think April was regretting turning the radio on so loud because, afterward, MC wouldn’t let her change it. Or turn it down, for that matter.

“We’re here!” came April’s voice as the car, and radio, finally stopped.

“Really, Captain Obvious?” I quipped and was rewarded with a smack to the arm. Let’s just say she isn’t the gentlest girl, either.

I switched with MC to be positioned next to Keira, nursing my smacked arm in silence. Keira and MC just shook their heads and shared a look. April and I were known for our little spats. She usually won, and I usually ended up sulking, but hey, it worked.

“So, food court?” asked MC, a blast of cold AC hitting us as we walked into the two-story building. She said the exact words I wanted to hear.

“Let’s go!” I practically yelled, and linked arms with MC, already pulling her toward the food court excitedly. Keira and April apparently had other plans and broke off from us.

Fine. They can be that way.

Typical.

“I’m guessing you’re feeling better?” MC asked me, concern still apparent in her eyes. She acted as if she was handling delicate china that could break at any moment with me. I didn’t like it.

“No, I just really want food,” I told her with a smirk. She rolled her eyes as I pulled her to the ice cream stand.

“Nuh-uh,” she tried to resist once she saw my choice of food. “Just because you have the metabolism of the year award does not mean I have to get fat.”

She started to pull me away, but I refused to budge.

“All I wanted was a smoothie,” I coaxed. MC relented, knowing it would be fruitless to argue with me. I mean, I wasn’t voted most stubborn person of the 12th grade class for nothing.

Cue innocent grin.

As we stood in line, I had found what I wanted from the menu in like 10 seconds, so my eyes began to wander over the crowd, searching for anyone of interest. There were quite a few cute guys here today. Maybe the trip was worth it, after all. Maybe I did want to be here.

Except for the fact that he was currently circulating my brain every five seconds.

“What’re you looking for?” MC was looking at me quizzically. I couldn’t help but catch the concern in her eyes. I guess she was still worried about me, despite my just-about-normal behavior. But that was MC. She would give everybody all of her food if they wanted it while she was starving. April and I have this thing about MC that, if she could, she would become a prostitute if it would make someone out there happy. We joke about it all the time. She hates it. She’s just too nice. Of course, when it comes to her music, everybody can just back off. It’s really the one thing she’ll be a bitch over.

“Oh nothing really. Just seeing if there are any cute guys out. Not that bad today.” I nudged her. “Maybe we can find someone for you.”

MC just laughed. See, when she’s all buddy-buddy with a guy, they don’t notice her as more than a friend, and she is the queen of being buddy-buddy. Thus, her lack of dating. Keira, April and I were always trying to find a guy for her and we even set her up a few times. Brian is a prime example, although it didn’t work out. Never does. Of course, they are now great friends.

We got up to the counter. “Two scoop chocolate chip cookie dough in a bowl, please.”

I heard MC whip her head around, that’s how hard she turned, and glared at me. “What? You said you were going to get a smoothie.”

“I lied.” I grinned innocently and paid for the ice cream. She was only mad because she couldn’t resist eating anything around me. I tempted her far too much.

She groaned. “I will get you back for this, Belle Lauren MacKenzie.”

I gasped in horror, clamping my hand over her mouth. Okay, maybe it was a little bit dramatic, but that’s what you get when you decide to become my best friend; dramatics at their best.

I glared at her. My middle name was off-limits and she knew that. I quickly looked around to see if anyone had heard.

“You got lucky this time,” I informed her darkly, taking my hand off of her mouth.

Ah, revenge is sweet. I ended up force-feeding her as a result.

“Oh come on, Bee. I was just kidding. I knew no one would hear,” She told me, exasperated. I just glared at her and put another spoonful of ice cream into her mouth.

Bee is my nick-name for the girls. Apparently ‘Belle’ is too long to pronounce, so they shortened it to Bee. Kinda like MC. Her real name is Marie-Claire. Only they can call me Bee, though. Anyone else can say Belle just fine.

After eating, we found Keira and April around Aeropostale and meandered about. We had only been there like 50 times, and it came as no surprise to see that we already had everything worth getting. I mean, we practically lived there and everybody that worked there knew us by name.

Actually, by going there, we were really looking for someone new, someone interesting to meet. I mean, the amount of tourists we’ve met here… it’s the only reason I have a MySpace. It’s not like I need it for this tiny town, and plus we’ve met some pretty smokin’ guys. A girl’s gotta keep tabs on her men.

“What about him?” April pointed, totally conspicuously.

“Watch it!” I cried, slapping her hand down. “Dang, do you want to be called a stalker?”

Keira laughed, just rolling her eyes at us. “Not like we care.”

April nodded. “Most of these guys, we won‘t ever see again.

“But what happens when they remember back on this five years later and say, ‘I went to the mall in Jackson Hole and these four girls were pointing and staring at me.’ How do you think that‘ll look for JH?” I ranted as we sat on the benches, bored out of my mind. It was the only real reason I ranted. Well, that a nervousness. I mean, do I really care that we are called stalkers on occasion? No.

“What about him? The one in the navy blue shirt that shows off all the right things?” Keira pointed. We all looked, but didn’t see him.

“Where?” MC asked.

April and I stood up for a better view to see where Keira had pointed. A shiver ran down my spine as I caught a glimpse of who she was talking about. It was only his back as he turned the corner and only for a second, but it was oh so familiar to me.

“Wow. Keira, you really picked a nic-” I didn’t hear the rest of what April was saying as I darted away and tried to follow him. I heard my name being called, but I ignored it. I was determined to catch up to him.

Following his lead, I turned the corner around which he disappeared and groaned. It was the main floor and was absolutely crowded.

“Great,” I mumbled to myself, my eyes searching frantically for a navy blue shirt in the sea of colors. I followed the word with a string of curses about the tourists. It wasn’t a nice paragraph of words, so I think I’ll censor that bit.

By the time I had circled the main floor fifteen minutes later, I had had one lead, which turned out to be a 40-something with a wife and children and a waste of time.

And cue more cursing.

Maybe it hadn’t been the mysterious brunette. Maybe I had ditched my friends for a complete stranger that wasn’t him. Maybe it was him and I had lost him. Maybe I was right and he never existed.

Maybe, just maybe…

I sighed, giving the search up as a lost cause. My cell vibrated in my pocket, causing me to jump as I began to search for my friends. I dug it out of the pocket of my jeans, a small feat considering they were tight as hell, and looked at the caller id. It was Keira.

“Hello?” I asked, preparing myself for getting bombarded with questions.

“Bee?” It was April’s voice that answered me.

“Yeah.”

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?” I pulled the cell away from my ear and could still hear her.

“Uhm, nothing. I thought I saw… erm, Mr. Henry and I wanted to catch him before I lost him.” I winced at my lie. If anything, it would only make matters worse, but I still couldn’t tell them about the mystery man.

“AND YOU COULDN’T TELL US ABOUT SEEING A TEACHER BEFORE DARTING OFF INTO GOD KNOWS WHERE AND LEAVING US BEHIND?”

Funny, she seemed to be getting louder. “GOD, BEE.”

I turned around only to find MC, April and Keira right behind me. I smiled wanly, not really wanting to face them.

“Sorry,” I shrugged, hanging up my cell.

“’Sorry’? That’s all you have to say for yourself?” April asked me, Keira and MC looking worried beside her. Them being my best friends and all, they know when something is up. And something’s up, so they’re all suspicious, but it’s not like I can just tell them I thought I saw the guy I had seen at school that made me act so weird this whole week. Especially not if he isn’t even real.

I mean I can’t be in lust after someone who doesn’t exist.

Right?