It dosent seem like its been a year. I love you Granny, I miss you so much.

These things they seep out, and emerge
To break free from their purgatory;
A year long sentence in hell,
In which they were silenced, stifled out

Caged, in entrapments like little pressed hearts,
Beating and bleeding simply for a prison break,
Liberated now though, you are free flowing;
My thoughts finally voiced in tones shaky from storage
I am no longer subdued

But Measured, and letting the numbness flow-
So as not to feel the pain of regret
As it gnashes at everything whole;
Everything that used to be me,
Human time is such an unholy monster

A beast to be feared, and avoided
As I lift my eyes to the sky,
Screaming apologies from yesteryear,
For crimes not undone-though well overlooked.

Unwrapped and unwell, let it flow,
She’s not here to argue, and I must live
In sync with myself for the sum of all time;
Poisons slip off a tongue too long held,
Escalating from a soul long forgotten in its existence.

A slip of the mind, a poor excuse,
For letting you age, and turn to die alone,
I released a fight against visitation,
A strike against you;
The backlash of stupidity I could have controlled

Tamed and tangled within my thoughts,
I find you lost in an utter echoing
Of words I couldn’t remember to forget;
I roped them up in cowardice,
Never to be uttered again
For sickness, and abnormalities beat me to the punch

A sock to the stomach, as air escaped the lungs,
And I, in procrastination, let you pass me by;
A ship set on course toward better shores;
But I relinquish these things now,
In a last ditch effort to make things right

Correct my wrongdoings, my past is over,
And greet my future, a bleak outcrop of space
Without you, someone I loved.
My death came with yours;
A blackout from promises left untied with the winds

Of change in me, that cannot, yet be seen;
They blow the dust from my mind,
Clear the crevices in my heart;
And bleed out this verse in eloquent
But essentially powerless musings
Of days gone by

Goodbye, goodbye to you,
Dear stronghold of mine;
I never meant to misuse you,
Confuse you for something timeless

Minutes slip away as I stare at the clock,
Hoping, wishing that this could be something great;
The medicine to draw you back
Through seconds and weeks and months, long faded
But the world is still devoid of your smile,

And these
Are just words.