It was the early hours of an early day of October. On an empty hill slope two lads staggered back from a night of boozing at the village pub. They had been celebrating the 21st birthday of their friend Dawn. Fayrguorn, the village, had been home to Sam, who was taller and broader, his entire life, and to Alex the last five years, who at least had a better singing voice going for him. The two had been friends almost from the off when Alex had moved in to the village. Not just the village infact, but into Sam’s own home to be with Sam’s twin sister Kairi, after meeting her online.

“Dude, I have to ask you like a serious question.” Alex turned his head around slowly to try and meet Sam’s eye to answer.

“Sure bud, shoot away.” He half smiled and saw the world start to tilt. A firm arm grabbed his and levelled the world again. They stumbled over to the bench that was unofficially known as lookout point as it overlooked the entire valley. The two flopped down.

“I don’t know how to put this… you know how Jay is? Well… are you like him?”

“How can you ask me that?” Alex felt hurt.

“Well… Since Kairi… died… you haven’t been with another girl. Well… also… I keep catching you… looking at me like you did at her.”

“Oh.”

“Oh? Does that mean you are? ‘Cos, you know I’m ok with that right? I mean I’ve remained friends with Jay… I mean he came out to me when he was thirteen so…”

“It’s not that.” Alex put his head between his arms and leant forward.

“Well… what is it?” Alex turned his head to look at his friend. “ok… it’s one of those things right? One of those things you felt you could tell Kairi, but not me?”

“It’s complicated. You remember when I came to live with you guys? It was shortly after my sixteenth birthday, so I do. Well… it wasn’t just to see Kairi. I… I was running. I was running away. Look… there are some things I haven’t told you. My mother left my father when I was seven.”

“I already knew that. She moved in with Carrie.”

“Right… well… that kind of pushed my dad over the top. He started thinking first it was his fault… and then mine. He started believing I was just like her. He started to think I had inherited something that would make me bat for the other team. One night he came home drunk. I was wearing a sailor style set of pyjamas… and he took this as a sign his suspicions were correct. He took off his belt and thrashed me.” The two sat in silence for a minute.

“He didn’t stop there though. When I tried to run away from him, he grabbed my arm so hard he fractured it, and then he landed a backhand slap that dislocated my jaw. I was crying heavily, and he told me that real boys shouldn’t cry, and he would keep hitting me until I stopped. Needless to say he was true to his word.”

“Oh man… Look… I didn’t know…”

“I know… needless to say he was so sorry in the morning. He couldn’t send me to school, because everyone would know what he had done… so he chained me to a radiator while he went to work. I’ll skip a bit… it was about four days before anyone cottoned on that I didn’t have the flu. Social services came around whilst my father was at work and saw what he had done to me. The police arrested him that afternoon at his work, and I was put in a hospital. My mum and Carrie visited me often, and slowly I healed. My father got 12 years for what he did, and I went to live with my mum on Carrie’s horse farm.

“I kept having nightmares though. After a month of waking up screaming, my mum and Carrie got me in to see a shrink. It took a while but the nightmares eventually faded.” The sky to the east had picked up a slight golden tint by this time, and the small birds that still remained had started to chirp. Now there was a bit of light, the two could see their own breath hinging in front of them, making them feel the cold.

“Well, As I said, I was running. I found out on my sixteenth birthday that my old man was being released early for good behaviour. Kairi was the only one whom I had opened up to, she was the only one who made me feel safe. I told her what had happened, and she spoke to you parents. They said they would have to meet me before they said yes for definite. Well, a train, a coach and a local bus trip later I found myself here. We talked for several hours, and eventually they agreed to take me in.”

“I remember coming home from school that day and meeting you for the first time. That was a shock to say the least. Kairi took me aside and told me who you were, and that you were here for possibly quite some time. To be honest, those first couple of weeks, I kept feeling like you were pushing me out. In case you hadn’t guessed it was me that left the road kill in your bed a couple of days after you’d moved in…”

“I kind of thought it might be. I tried to think how it would be from your point of view. It was my idea for the Professor, your dad, to take you to the theme park, just you and Kairi and him. I thought it might help to show you that I wasn’t trying to usurp you.”

“The two of us wondered about that. He’d never come up with anything like that before. Thanks though… it was a good time we had.” Alex nodded. It was nice to be appreciated.

“Where was I up to?” Alex asked, not used to having been side tracked.

“You had to run away.”

“Oh yes. Well, Kairi told me how you used to stand up for her, even against those kids that one time when they were three years older than you.”

“I got a black eye and fat lip for that. I can’t believe she told you about that.”

“That kind of brings me back to my original answer. It took me a long time to not be afraid of every man I came across. I kept thinking they were going to do to me what my father did.”

“So you look at me thinking I’m going to pulverise you?”

“What? No! I keep imagining you’d be there, by my side… if it ever did happen. I know it sounds silly. I just… I feel safe around you. It’s nothing Jay-like.”

“I have to admit I’m quite relieved. I’d have no idea how to deal with two crushes on me.” They both chuckled.

“It could be worse, he could be like Dawn and pretend the two of you are together every time a man tries to chat her up.”

“Oh god! I can just imagine Jay doing that! With his mmm darling, I mean, what is with that?” Sam questioned.

“I think that’s how he thinks his people should act and behave.”

“So… do you think Dawn actually…?”

“I really couldn’t say. I think she doesn’t know herself. Though, the two of you would make a cute couple.”

“I’d probably find her more attractive if she wasn’t Kairi’s old best friend, or kept one of her eyes always covered.” Sam stood up and stretched. “Well, it’s now properly morning. I think it’s a good time to stumble in.”

“Your mum will be up baking now. She’ll tan both our hides with that rolling pin of hers for this.”

“I’m not afraid of her. We can take her… the two of us.”

“And annoy her even more? I’d rather take the rolling pin.” The two continued their climb up the hill.

“You remember when we had to convert the loft over to a bedroom for you? It took the three of us, me you and dad, a fortnight to finish it so you could have your own space. That was such a fun project.”

“You only say that so you can claim visitor privileges and play on the game console I earned.”

“Hey! That’s so not true! I could have earned the money for my own if I wanted! It just seems silly to have two when we like all the same games.” They had reached the top of the hill, and the beginning of the Landos estate. There was only the gravelled path to the front door left now. The light was already on in the kitchen. “It looks like the troll is up.”

“Your mum is going to kill you if she ever hears you call her that.”

“I don’t care, I just want to crawl into my bed now.”