"Some have said that blood ties always persist, even after what once was has been replaced by something considered nonexistent by most. Some have said even though all condolence has been rejected by the essence of what is in the present, an overwhelm of emotion can cause one to act how their nature did not intend. I tested the thoughts of those who have said such things. My conclusion does not deny those statements…"

Remorse of a Sire

Entry the First,

January 15th, 1868,

To this very day I regret decisions made to prolong what is now considered to be something of little value. To this very day I long that I could recall the actions I took that lead to such an outcome. Why was I so desperate to live, that I gave up the very aspect of life? Seeking out a man who was said to be known for centuries. What a foolish I act I committed.

“Excuse me?” I said to the man, sitting in his own self at the corner bar stool. Perhaps tapping his shoulder had been a bit to much. Maybe if I had left him in his own he would have been merciful. Maybe he would have told me what a mistake this plead was. But would I have even given his argument a chance?

With nothing but a disgruntled moan from the figure I so longed to converse, I reacted. “Pardon me, sir?”

His portly stature turned on the wooden stool to face me. His expression left little to be imagined. His gray mustache hid his mouth from those who looked. His eyes drooped in a manor that seemed he had not slept a day in his lifetime. A less serious tone took over from the shining glare, atop the man’s bald head. He responded to my endeavors. “What do you want?”

I hesitated for a moment, not sure whether to continue was the best choice of action at this stage. I wish I had gone with my initial instinct. Instead, I replied, “Sorry sir, but are you Jacob Monroe?”

The man continued to stare, before answering, “Yeah. You Collins?”

I smiled, saying, “Yes, I am Adrian Collins. It is an honor to meet you Mr. Monroe.” I urged my hand out to greet this man, with no action taking place.

In the same form, he replied, “Ain’t no honor in meetin' me. So, I hear you're lookin' for Victor.”

Before I even had a proper chance to respond, he handed me a small white card, and said, “You didn’t get this from me.” I nodded.

-----------------

“You cannot be in your right mind, Adrie!” A woman called Bethany exclaimed. Her shoulders were graced with flowing blond hair, that was down to her waist, when it wasn’t pulled back in the presence of company. A blue, lace dress frequented her slim figure, causing second childish glances from disputable men. Her face was that of an angel’s. Normally, a smile would accompany it, but not on this horrific day.

“My dear Beth, this is the solution to our most grave challenge!” I responded, hoping to change her perspective, which now I realize was a foolish motive.

“Oh please, you seek out a man who can supposedly grant life to those who lack it?! Are you mad?!” She replied in a tone than shown both annoyance and concern.

“Please, you make it sound utterly ridiculous.” I said, as even I came to the conclusion that I was displaying hypocrisy.

“Me?! I can’t believe you would….” She paused, as her most beautiful face lost its glow when tears began to fill her gleaming eyes, “…If you do this, Adrian……you will no longer find your home here.”

Regardless of my wife’s pure intentions, I studied the white card’s contents thoroughly, and left my once precious home.

-----------------

The alleyway, which accompanied me in my what seemed to be eternal wait for my guest’s arrival, felt as cold as what one would imagine the Antarctic felt like. Why would the rational thought of abandoning my conquest not phase through my mind? Finally, a shadow approached my position.

Thoughts of altering the content of what I experienced next have indeed plagued me. However, the purpose of this document is to warn those, who in future, will decide to attempt such events, and must act as a warning. So, I shall continue in complete honesty...