Leela Packer crossed her arms over her chest and stared blankly at the overcast sky, ignoring the chaos ensuring around her. Television reporters, newspapers, and just about every gossip magazine had gathered at Central Park in order to celebrate the life and success of the late Jasmine Powell. Only fifteen minutes of standing around and Leela was already irritated by the situation. She felt like the death of a loved one should be an intimate and private event, yet photographers could make this a circus. She had not even laid eyes on anyone who she was sure personally cared about Jasmine.

She sighed and shook her head, wondering why she had even decided to come in the first place. After all, circumstances caused her and Jasmine to break apart. Once she realized how loose Jasmine had gotten with her morals, Leela decided that she needed to reevaluate her friendship. Without the least bit of remorse Jasmine was removed from as much of her life as possible, and Leela had no regrets. It was just unfortunate that her ex-friend had to die at such a young age.

To her left a vee-jay from MTV was live airing an interview with Fusion’s ex-manager Kylie Watts, who let herself get manipulated by Jasmine’s charm throughout their contract. “…It’s so nice to see all of these people here were people that Jasmine loved and touched; if only she knew how much of us would miss her once she was gone…”

She’s always been so gullible, Leela thought, rolling her eyes as she began moving towards the front of the services where she guessed Mr. and Mrs. Powell were being heckled by the crowd. Leela concluded that the other people whom she had never seen before must’ve been fans. Fans that praised and worshipped the ground that Jasmine walked on, making her an idol instead of God. It disgusted her. What was worse was the fact that there were people who used to treat Leela like that. She could never stand that lifestyle.

It wouldn’t surprise Leela if Jasmine was in heaven bossing God around about the day, or better yet the devil. The weather caused everyone to feel melancholy with its overcast skies that refused to rain and end the festivities. At least hundreds, maybe even thousands of people had come together in order to recognize her accomplishments. People flew all over the country to get a chance to go to her memorial as if they would happen to catch a glimpse of the one and only Jasmine Powell.

“Leela Packer? Leela, do you mind if we talk to you for a minute?”

Damn, Leela noticed the camera flashing on her a few times, feeling disappointed that a reporter from Universe magazine had spotted her and gotten pictures. It made her feel like she had no choice, but to speak out about the death of her former band mate. “Sure…”

“Thanks.” The reporter, a female, forced a smile and extended her hand. “I’m Janet. I was always a fan of Fusion…I truly admired you ladies. It was refreshing to see a group of young ladies who could not only make fun and sexy music, but also be classy.”

Biting her tongue from saying something completely worse Leela just muttered a thanks. How could Janet see something so completely opposite from what Leela actually felt Fusion stood for? The beginning of the group at seventeen years old had been fun and exciting. They were sexy, confident, and it did draw people in. They sold platinum records immediately, as if it was meant for them to do so. Then the clothes started getting smaller, the songs began to get risqué, and the more uncomfortable Leela got the less confidence she displayed. She was sure it had to be obvious, but no one addressed her situation. It made her resent Fusion and her band mates even more.

Janet then suggested that she and Leela find a place to sit down. Although the crowd was definitely apparent, it was not difficult for the two to be seated on a park bench while everyone else were interested in buying mementos of Jasmine at kiosks scattered all over. How could they merchandise her so soon? How could her family allow this?

“Describe the moment when you found out Jasmine had passed on.”

This was not something that Leela had planned on getting in to. She was just hoping to be asked a few simple questions, spot someone she knew, and then excuse herself before things got too deep. Even at the memorial Leela did not desire dedicating her thoughts to Jasmine. Her mind was something that she wanted Jasmine to invade, but even from the grave she was getting everything she wanted. Her biggest wish: the spotlight. Now she couldn’t ask for more.

“Ugh…let me see…”

The phones had been ringing off the hook for about two hours, breaking Leela’s afternoon nap. She was ready to grab her cell phone and throw it off the balcony of the four star hotel, but she did not want to wind up on the cover of Us Weekly with her brown hair tousled like a maniac and her granny glasses taking up her whole face. However, she also decided that by the time she brought her hair to perfection and put her contacts on, she wouldn’t hate her life so much.

She was thankful that her house phone had stopped ringing as she pulled herself out of bed, but she wasn’t too relaxed because her cell phone still vibrated on her dresser. If she wasn’t anticipating a good evening she probably would’ve cussed out the person on the receiving line of her phone.

“It was another two hours at about six before I actually answered the phone—I had never had so many missed calls in my life. They were blowing me up since noon…I got in the shower, dressed to go out to dinner, and then my older sister told me that Jasmine killed herself. Well she told me that they still needed to do an autopsy, but suicide seems like something Jasmine would resort to doing when things weren’t going her way.”

“Ouch, why do you say that?”

Damn, I still have to censor what I say. Big mouth Leela, don’t let people know how unsympathetic you really are… “Sorry Janet that came out wrong. I’m just thinking about the fact that Jasmine is such a perfectionist, and she usually has such a control on her life. I’ve seen her upset, and it is not pretty. So it happens rarely. I don’t know if she did it on purpose or not…you know, take the pills, because I don’t know what’s been going on with her. I just wish things didn’t end this way for her.”

That was when Leela decided she didn’t want to talk anymore. Things were suddenly getting painful. These girls went from best friends to people hardly on speaking terms. Perhaps if Leela had just given Jasmine a phone call, let her know that she didn’t hate her, maybe Jasmine would not have done what she did. Obviously Jazzy was going through some emotional turmoil in her soul. Leela might be able to have talked her in to getting some help. She didn’t deserve to die, especially at her own hands.

Quickly Leela jumped off of the park bench, feeling her nose get stuffy as the possibility of tears rolling down her face became more apparent. This was something that she’d want to do in privacy. “Um…please excuse me Janet. I’m not ready to do this.”

Her Burberry designer trench coat style jacket flared about as she pressed on away from Janet, not paying attention to her destination so much as avoiding bumping into someone. Her eyelids stung while she fought her tears. Why am I crying for her…the main source of the pain I experienced for over five years? She made me hate this life, these people, and this money…but I’m crying for her. I’m actually going to miss her and it hurts now.

Leela continued to walk as the dense crowd grew thinner and thinner until she found herself standing relatively away from the services. Tears had yet to flow from her eyes, but her vision blurred from her contacts. She closed her eyes, the stinging faded, and she rested her eyes on a steel lamppost. It was still daylight, the little sunshine they got, but it wasn’t the figurine that caught Leela’s attention. Instead it was the shadow of someone underneath: Bryanne.

She skillfully exhaled her cigarette smoke, her manicured nails flicking away the ashes being what mesmerized Leela. She was never a fan of Bryanne’s habit, something she hadn’t picked up ‘til she Fusion became a popular household name. The wind blew Bryanne’s golden brown hair as her dark brown eyes held unresolved sorrow. She looked up as Leela moved closer, and she didn’t flinch. She was always so cool about things; Leela felt like the weed had changed her. She appreciated it today, but any other day it would be a problem.

The first thing Leela checked for was to see if Bryanne’s eyes were glassy; if she was stoned. Bryanne passed. She appeared more mature and stable as she puffed on her cigarette without speaking. She was at a normal weight, which was positive considering the fact that it normally fluctuated from its low to high points. Her look was more cleaned up. She wore skinny jeans, a burgundy blouse and some heels without a jacket. Her eyes locked on her former band mate and there was an unspoken truce established.

Bryanne took a long puff before dropping it on the ground and stomping it with her heel. “If you got here a little sooner you could’ve had that one. God knows I need to quit, especially if I’m gonna start performing again.”

“I’ll be okay,” Leela replied standing awkwardly. “How you holding up?”

Bryanne nonchalantly shrugged. “I’m straight, I guess. I don’t know if it just hasn’t hit me yet or what…I’m tired as hell. Last night wasn’t good. Tonight’s probably gonna be worse.”

Leela nodded. Bryanne seemed to be taking things much better then she would’ve expected, but maybe she was hiding her feelings. Then again, she never did used to take things as serious as anyone else did. She was always so mellow about stuff, possibly numb even because of the circumstances of her childhood. “It sucks back there. I couldn’t take it. I tried talking about it…but then I choked up.”

It was Bryanne’s turn to nod. “I spoke with her parents for a little bit. I talked to VH1 and MTV, but I hate how things aren’t organized. Mr. and Mrs. Powell look so overwhelmed; they aren’t staying long I’m sure. You goin’ to the funeral?”

“If I can handle it. You?”

“Honestly…I don’t want to. I want everything to just be the past. I want to move on.”

“It won’t be easy.”

“I know.”

The two ladies stood in silence, facing the direction of where the memorial service was going on. Most of the crowd had gathered around a platform where a collage of pictures of Jasmine were scattered on display as her boyfriend Benny spoke about his relationship. Leela couldn’t help but notice Bryanne stiffen as she watched before turning away, her demeanor suddenly appearing so devastating.

“You know what Bryanne? We don’t have to go through life not talking. We can support each other, especially during this time.” Leela extended her arms for a long-awaited hug. Bryanne stared in confusion for a second before giving in and then a sob escaped her lips.

“Leela…nobody understands what she did to me,” she murmured while they embraced. “She’s left me alone…she’s punishing me for leaving her. Just hours before she killed herself I turned my back on her…and she never gave me the chance to apologize.”

“Jasmine affected a lot of us. I wish I had my chance to take back some things I said to her, but at least now…at least we can be friends again. We can find the rainbow at the end of the storm.”

Because without faith, there won’t be anything to look forward to. And being hopeless didn’t sound too fun right now.