Kanna-sama: It is a rare occasion for me to write with the male as a main character and just as rare for me to write in first person, since I enjoy the third point of view since I can give everyone’s thoughts. Nonetheless, this idea was nagging at me.

X

Rating: T

Genre: Romance

Summary: A vampire finds himself yearning after something he can never have. One shot.

Notes/Warnings: First person; vampires; short one-shot

X

I cannot explain the desire we vampires get for human women. Even the female vampires are drawn to the blood of them. It isn’t innocence. By far. The twentieth century opened with chaos and corruption of the human world. The women of this generation are the most corrupt and greedy of them all, and that is saying much, for I have been alive for centuries, even before the French Revolution. When I was a human, things were different. Now, as soon as a girl is six, she knows of sex and drugs. By the time she is eleven, she is already experimenting with both, since that is the ideal age that boys start to become sexually interested in girls.

It was the reason that I never suspected myself vulnerable to anyone during this age. I never expected to find myself wanting to be human more than ever. And, of course, it was because of a girl. Everyone in my close-knit “family” knew of this. It was natural. We vampires had lost ourselves on several accounts to human girls. The ones that did find themselves besotted didn’t dare change their pets into vampires, fearful that they would lose their appeal then.

It was always different with me, though. Always.

I had been changed by my own will, even demanding it. I had lost everything in my life, thanks to an unintelligent bet in the gaming hells. Unsurprisingly, I found myself on the streets. I had a plan to return to my wealthy state, but it would take decades to unfold and sink its tentacles into the brainless Society of London. I needed to be immortal. All I wanted was money and a comfortable life. After being changed, I was given that.

There were plenty of women for me, plenty of men, too. I didn’t care for any of them, nor had I ever changed anyone. It was something that my “family” disapproved of, especially since I had stopped going to bed with anyone after I’d been changed. I began to dedicate myself to different things, my most popular fascination being music. I had seen Mozart, Liszt, Chopin, Beethoven – all of those famously wonderful composers and pianists and more – play in theater, and had adored them. I still held them above the artless music of today’s day and age. I didn’t care for the pop singers that were a girl’s hero one day, a drug addict the next. It was uninteresting and ridiculous.

My recent obsession, however, was not just an obsession. It wasn’t the scent of the blood, the beauty, or even the virginity of the human girl I had befriended and was craving for that had set me after her. It was simply her that had caused me to unhinge. My carefully crafted world had come apart when meeting her.

There was no way she would accept me and I knew it; everyone knew it.

She was a mere seventeen, a year away from leaving home to college, and too young for the age I appeared, the age I had “died” at. I had been thirty-two when I was turned. I didn’t necessarily look it, but I didn’t look like a teenager, either. Besides, I had flatly told my Glorianna Helder that I was thirty-two. If she hadn’t looked so alarmed and flustered by the response, I would have been amused. But I hadn’t had the time to be entertained.

She had enthralled me.

Ever since I first stepped into that quaint café her mother owned and she worked at, I had made myself a permanent, and regular, customer there. She had told me she would take over the café once her mother retired and so I would stay here as well. I wouldn’t leave. I wouldn’t allow myself that. Until she died, I would stay here and watch her, because it was all I could do – or so that was what I told myself.

By the shy, tentative smile she gave me – and only me, I noticed – I knew that she was responding to my own attraction. The small touches I allowed myself, or the warm smiles I gifted her with were not unnoticed by her. Her blushes and careful handling around me was not unnoticed, either. If I were a less honorable man, I would have taken her.

But she didn’t know what I was.

“You are here again,” Glorianna’s mother remarked to me as she came to serve me. Glorianna was working at the cash register. I noticed she was talking to a boy her age, looking a bit agitated. Her eyes kept flashing to me, as though in desperation. “I must say, you’ve become a good influence on my daughter’s working habits.” I dragged my own eyes to the elderly woman’s face. She was perhaps in her mid-forties, with auburn hair pulled back in a hectic ponytail, streaks of gray interrupting the mix of dark and light. She and Glorianna looked absurdly like each other.

“Is that a fact?” I asked in a neutral tone. I knew my manner of speech was odd to the modern humans of this century, not to mention my drawling, English accent. I could hardly break the habit, seeing as how I knew nothing but the grammatical way of speaking – the way a gentleman spoke.

“Yes, sir, it is,” she responded, letting her eyebrows raise a bit. She blocked my view of Glorianna and leaned down at bit, her face suddenly dark. I knew what was coming. It was what all mothers did to men interested in their daughters. I had thought I had kept my interest to myself, but apparently I had been mistaken. “Sir...Please. Don’t think I’m stupid. Don’t treat me like it, either, because I’m not. I see the way you sometimes look at Glorianna. You are...a bit older than her, don’t you think?”

“I could not agree with you more, Ms. Helder.”

“Then why do you keep coming here? You’ll break her poor, young heart. She is positively in love with you! Can’t you see that?” I raised my eyes to hers, keeping my face strictly blank. I could see the fierce protectiveness gleaming in her eyes and almost felt guilty. Almost. I was not prone to guilt, though. I was a creature of the night. Our hearts did not beat in our chests any longer, even though our hearts were most certainly there.

“Ms. Helder,” I said at last, in an even tone, betraying nothing of what I was thinking, “are you asking me to set things straight with your daughter?” I wouldn’t leave. Never would I leave. I would stay and disguise my appearance every decade, but I wouldn’t leave my Glorianna. I would watch her grow old, fall in love with a human male, be swollen with child, and make a human family of her own. And when she was old, withered and dying, I would go to her, as she knows me now, and confess to her what I was and what I had felt all along. That was how it had to be. Not only because I love her, but because I knew she could never embrace my world.

“I’m asking you to stop leading her on,” she snapped a bit impatiently. So this woman had a temper. I found that fact a bit irritating. I was raised in a place where women were not allowed to have a temper except to her husband and only in the close confines of their home.

“You are mistaken,” I replied steadily, raising my coffee to my lips and drinking from it. Technically, I didn’t need any human substance, but I enjoyed it every once in awhile. “You believe for me to have fraudulent feelings for Glorianna. You have not taken into account that my feelings may not be so.” She stared at me, clearly baffled.

“So you’re trying to seduce her.” Her tone was accusatory. I had had quite enough of her ludicrous words. I was getting fed up with her.

“Have you not insulted me enough, Ms. Helder?” I demanded, shooting her a warning glare through the corners of my eyes. “I know better than that. I have no intentions of leading your daughter into my bed. I prefer her companionship as just that – a companion.” I finished the last of my coffee and got to my feet, pushing back in my chair. I took my jacket from the back of my chair and slipped my arms in it, smoothing it down. Ms. Helder was shorter than myself, so it was a promising position with me towering over her. “I will not force my presence on you or Glorianna, since that seems to be the issue here.”

“Sir – ” She began in an outraged tone, but I had turned my back to her and was sweeping towards the cash register to pay for my coffee. I already knew the price, so I threw down the money to Glorianna, who gave a puzzled and slightly startled look to me. She took the money without question. I noticed the boy was still there, staring at me with a frown.

“That was really rude,” he said to me. I slowly turned my head and eyed him, narrowing my eyes as I did. This day was turning out to be a disagreeable one.

“Shut up, Kyle,” my pet snapped at him. She was clearly already irritated with him.

“You needn’t worry,” I said, speaking to Kyle, “I will not be around to be rude again.” He just sneered at me, while Glorianna stared at me with what could only be described as a horrified expression. I forced a small, albeit wistful, smile on my lips when I looked at her. “Goodbye, Glorianna.” I turned and left her gawking at me, tucking my hands in my pockets as I exited through the door.

When I was outside, I paused to take in the dark surroundings of 29th Street. I breathed in a brisk breath of chill, autumn air before starting down the road. I was not surprised when, five minutes later, footsteps pattered behind me. I turned my head the slightest bit to look over my shoulder and saw Glorianna running down to me, her hair flying behind her and her thin jacket the only thing covering her from the crisp air.

“Cameron,” she gasped out as soon as she saw me stop. She was the only human I had let know my actual name. The rest were given a false name. She put a hand on the stone of a building, staring up at me with worried emerald eyes, her breathing coming out a bit hard. “Why?” She didn’t need to elaborate. I already knew what the question was asking of me. I was not a fool and she knew so.

“Your mother finds my presence displeasing. She is the proprietor of the café and I would not like her to be unhappy.” I could hear the mockery in my voice, but I don’t think she did.

“Damn my mother to hell,” was all she said, her eyebrows snapping down. “I don’t think I could do without your company. I...” Her face went pink and my mouth tilted at an end. So my mind hadn’t been imagining things. How pleasant. That, I realized, made things much more complicated.

“You are aware of the gap between our ages?” I questioned.

“...Yes.” A determined expression printed itself over her lovely features. It was an expression I was unfamiliar with. “In two months, I’ll be an adult.” She raised her chin, staring me in the eye, her mouth trembling only slightly. I knew well enough what she was afraid of. All humans feared the same thing when they confessed their feelings: rejection. “I can do whatever I want with whoever I want then.” The color in her face deepened. I hadn’t thought my lovely, overly naïve pet would have considered over such a thing.

Interesting.

“Is that a fact?” A safe response and one that I was fond of.

“Yes.” It was also a response she was familiar with.

“...Hm.” I turned from Glorianna and contemplated the scarce traffic, my thumb stroking a ring on one of my fingers. I turned back to her and saw that her expression hadn’t changed, although there was a hint of panic in her eyes. A slow smile curved my mouth. I removed my hands from my pockets and slid them over her cheeks, framing her face. Her eyes widened the slightest bit. “Ah, Glorianna...” I sighed a bit, rested my forehead on hers. “Things are so difficult when it comes to you.” She didn’t respond and I didn’t require an answer. She had no notion what I spoke of. I tipped her head up and covered her mouth with my own. She shivered and instantly curled up to me, raising her hands to my shoulders and resting them there.

“...Cameron?” She blinked her eyes wide when I withdrew. I wondered to myself if this was worth the trouble it would cause. The adoration in her eyes was my answer and the own answering love that was springing up within me, unbidden, made me conclude that I had started something that wouldn’t be halted so easily.

“There are some things you need to know, Glorianna.” I smiled slightly. “After that, we will make a decision, you and I.” Her face became a beacon in the darkness of my life.

No, it wasn’t just worth it. It was more than worth it.

X

Kanna-sama: I rather liked this short one-shot. Usually my one-shots are either really long or they turn into two-shots. I know this could have been turned into a chaptered fic, but I’m sure everyone’s aware of how fond I am of one-shots and how lazy I am with chaptered stories. In any case, please leave a review on your way out. Criticism is always accepted, even embraced. Ciao!