Rejected Super Heroes

Note: Ah, fanboys (and fangirls) and their pathetic attempts to try out for Stan Lee’s “Who Wants to Be a Superhero ?”. (I shorten it at times to WWTBS, be noted.) With names like Chin Music and Blobulese, it’s easy to see why Mr. Lee was reluctant to let these wannabes have even a snowball’s chance. Even though they ultimately fail, they start their own League. The League of Rejected Super Heroes, or TLRS.

Chapter 1—Stan Lee’s Criticism Knows No Bounds

The next season of Who Wants to Be a Superhero were shaping up to be rather intriguing. It was a Stan Lee’s fan ultimate dream, or in this case, nightmare. The recent applicants included such characters as Chin Music, Blobulese, Mr. Mighty, Lupus, the Retainer, Tangles, Bard, and Lioness. They thought their costumes and ideas were unique as well as spectacular. Some of them even saw themselves as smolderingly sexy, but Stan Lee was about to knock their egos down a few pegs as soon as he saw them sauntering to make their characters known.

The first super heroine, Tangles, looked like a bad trip to the salon or a mean little brother’s prank to an innocent little sister. She wore an equally awful outfit, which was reminiscent of Madonna’s 80’s look in many of her music videos. She explained her talents and her weaknesses as well as her love for fighting for justice. Stan Lee rudely cut her off, not wanting to see or hear anymore.

“Alright, that’s enough, Tangles. I get the point, but you’re not what I’m looking for.”, Lee said waving her out of the trial room and she left the room as soon as she could. She didn’t cry in Stan’s presence but no sooner had she exited when tears flooded her eyes.

“Turn those damned cameras off !”, she exclaimed as she swiped at the photographers filming her tantrum. She stormed off, far away from the studio and took a taxi back to her apartment. The other contestants that were waiting were slightly unnerved and prayed that the same fate didn’t await them, but they were about to face the same scrutiny.

One by one the superheroes and heroines walked in and one after another were turned away receiving the thumbs down of disapproval from the Master himself. Many of them wailed as they rushed out of the studio while others banged against the wall in anger. Some even left holes when they punched the walls as a sign of defeat and upset. Those who did this would have to pay damages, but they didn’t care. As far as they were aware, Stan Lee didn’t know what he was missing when he turned them down for the next season of Who Wants to Be a Superhero.

Chapter 2—Calling All Rejects

It was a few weeks after the casting calls of WWTBAS and feeling ultimately dejected, humiliated and depressed, the “losers” looked for support on I Village. Strangely, they found a group called “WWTBAS No Goes”. Wondering who had started the club, they joined and found the man named Mr. Mighty. Mighty had been turned down because he was a rip-off of such characters like Captain America and Superman. He blamed his cape for that “copyright infringement”. Stan Lee wanted to avoid lawsuits, but to Mighty, he hadn’t avoided being lame. The others agreed, particularly Chin Music, who had taken the idea of Gai Lee’s ninja outfit from the anime Naruto as his theme. If one didn’t know any better, they would’ve thought Chin was just another Gai Lee.

After the online meetings the rejects had on the I Village website, the webmaster of the site had decided to start his “Justice League”. It would be exclusive to those who had been turned away from Lee’s reality show and had been mortified on the air in front of millions of people. Even if they could only help with advice and cheer up little children or fulfill an elderly dying person’s wish. But, they would have to have a place to meet, a leader, a name and of course, a treasurer for dues in the name of charitable work.

In a number of months, the leader, Mr. Mighty was chosen, the treasurer, Deductible was elected to his post, and record keepers like Librarian and Bookworm had paperwork nice, neat, and presentable for business. The name for the group was also selected. They were no longer simply rejects, but The League of Rejected Super Heroes, or TLRSH.

Even though it took a while for the TLRSH to be truly accepted (while the rest of the world just ignored them, which didn’t really bother them one way or the other), they were glad that they could help where they were needed and keep hope alive in a generally cruel and calculating world. Despite the fact they would never be so well known as the heroes and heroines of Marvel, DC Comics, Dark Horse and bankrupt corporations like Chaos, this didn’t seem to bother them at all.

Chapter 3—Good Deeds Don’t Go Unnoticed

It was one year that TLRSH had been helping society and they had even begun a new charity program for low-income families and those who couldn’t afford health insurance. The non-profit business was supported by local stores and others that were more than happy to see this kind of service in the neighborhood. No one had given it too much thought, and TLRSH believed it was out of the goodness of their member’s hearts that it continued to exist.

One day, the major of the surrounding area happened to hear about TLRSH’s efforts, including their latest store called Agape which was fitting considering what it did for the people of the community. Since they had received no recognition before, the group of “heroes” was going to be honored in the newspaper and on the 5:00 news later that night. None of the heroes or heroines had ever thought they would be back on television and some were afraid of looking like fools, but their leader reassured them that would not be the case in this instance. If anything, they would be respected and perhaps even revered.

When the league was interviewed by the major, many of the heroes were excited, but they had maintained their sense of balance and not had any goofy outbursts while they were being spoken to. As soon as the mayor was done, he gave a considerable donation to keep Agape running and a bonus to the league for “doing such a stupendous job”. He dubbed them as true heroes and hoped that more could learn by their example. A few heroes and heroines actually became a bit choked up when he had said that and shed tears of joy. This day never would’ve come if the group hadn’t had gotten together in the first place and they thanked their lucky stars that this kind of turnabout had occurred in their somewhat unlucky existences.

Epilogue

Even though the short-lived fame lasted only a few moments, it hadn’t affected TLRSH except on those days that the weight of the world tried to drag them down. But nothing could change their attitude about their work. They continued to be upbeat despite the calculating nature of their surroundings outside of their ‘base’. Even though the everyday world tried to dampen their mood, their friendship kept them uplifted as well as their philosophy of life. So long as they were around helping the downtrodden, they could never feel sad for themselves.

They were beyond pity and depression. Despite the fact they were overlooked and only a few people noticed or thanked them, it wasn’t what was important in their lives. They knew that their importance existed in their work and the true nature of Agape even if ordinary people couldn’t understand it.

The End