Musings of an Overactive Imagination

Things that still make no sense to me: Why is it hot dogs come in packages of 6 when hamburgers come in packages of 4 ? Or, packages of 8 (hotdogs again) ? Is there some higher power that dictates that hotdogs are more important than hamburgers or do Americans happen to consume more hotdogs than hamburgers ? The world may never know.

I tend to become maternal if I smell baby powder. I’m not exactly certain as to why, but it simply happens. I immediately see myself playing with kids, making kids laugh, and even more impressive, cradling a baby infant in my arms. I’ve never had kids, but I hope to in the future. I suppose baby powder can be calming too, it’s such a marvelous scent in my opinion.

When people describe something, I can usually see it in detail. Sometimes, the result to me can be humorous. When one of my friends described breasts as being like sacks of flour a woman has to carry around and never go away…I actually saw that in my mind’s eye, and honest to God, I found it funny. For those who actually have that problem though, I apologize. I hope you didn’t find that offensive.

I am not sure as to why I adore the smell of leather. Leather wallets, leather belts, leather jackets, but not leather lambskin hats. In that case, the skin smells awful and not at all appealing. But there is something rugged I love about leather. One day I’ll be gutsy enough to wear leather from head to toe, but right now I’m just happy to continue the t-shirt, jeans and sport shoe look.

When I am at work and bored, my mind tends to wander. I’ll think about Hawaii, or any other tropical locale. I can also have bursts of creativity in this time that my mind suffers from the drudges of monotony. This is when my brain is at its best. I never know what’s going to inspire it or spark my synapses. Sometimes, and I admit to it, I think about love and I often see myself in my boyfriend’s arms, which really helps me feel stupendous if my day is not going so well. But after I snap out of drifting in and out of reverie about being showered in kisses, it’s back to work again for yours truly.

Things that make no sense to me: Why are some packages stuffed into one box and surrounded with air packages, packaging peanuts (or as some call it in the business, ‘snowman poop’) and all that is within the box is one unit ? The unit itself isn’t exactly ‘fragile’, but I could understand it more if it wasn’t a complete waste of space and resources.

If the EPA knew about this, they would throw a tantrum.

I like to develop quirky phrases such as ‘about as reliable as America’s bridges’ or ‘lively as decaying corpses in a crypt’. I love being different than everyone else, makes me stand out and know I’m not a carbon copy of society’s desires.

Sometimes I tend to spontaneously break into song, depending on my mood. Also, I tend to dance to the music over the PA at work, even if people are watching. I don’t care if they see me dancing. I’m enjoying the music, and I am enjoying work, so who am I hurting ?

I realize my humor is dark at times, and forgive me for that. But the motto of the morticians is especially valid in any event. “Any day above ground is a good one.”

Guys hit on me at work, and I don’t really care for it. It’s flattering but when you’re teased by a guy who’s old enough to be your father, it tends to become a little creepy.

Did you ever notice how retailers promise and don’t deliver ? Welcome to the true world of retail. Not very pretty, huh ?

I tend to overuse Yiddish words and phrases, and I’m not even Jewish, but I have many Jewish friends and I tend to know my Old Testament much better than my New. Perhaps I was a Jew in one of my past lives, God only knows, I complain like one.

Now since I have been at work for almost a year, I have been getting new responsibilities. When I started, I had numbers to operate a register but they never functioned. So, only until recently I was given numbers that actually work, so I am able to sell jewelry (and maybe work a check-out during the holidays). Needless to say, it makes me so much more useful around jewelry. I feel so much better because of it !

Things I don’t understand: Why is it the holidays come earlier and earlier each year ? It’s not that I don’t like Halloween intermingling with Christmas, but whatever happened to All Saints Day and Thanksgiving ?

Did we forget there were holidays in between the two ? And, have you noticed that Halloween costumes for children become cuter and cuter while decorations and such become scarier and scarier ? What is the correlation there ? Arrrrrgggh, I just don’t comprehend any of it, I tell you !

Sometimes I have a tendency to speak with an accent I wasn’t even born with, like a Spanish accent. Perhaps I learned that one when I was in Spanish class, since I wanted to be authentic. It’s probably a remnant. Whatever it is, I sound hilarious when I want to say ‘you’ and it comes at as ‘ju’.

People often ask me if I am British, or Catholic. The answer is, I am neither. Although I have British roots, it doesn’t mean that I myself am British. I am unsure as to why people think I am Catholic, but if you want to know my religion, I’m Christian and also Spiritualist. Sometimes people make me laugh regardless of what they ask me, and that question itself makes me chuckle a bit.

My mother once said something that was quite hilarious. We were listening to the news, and it was rather serious concerning what had happened to an unsuspecting victim. He had been shot once in the hip and another had been shot in a mobile home. Mom said, “I wonder what part of the body the mobile home is”, and I burst out laughing. Dad didn’t find the joke at all funny. It was probably because he was praying and we interrupted with that. Humor doesn’t have any rhyme or reason, it simply happens.

There are times I simply act goofy to blow off steam, especially when I get a day off from work. Sometimes this annoys others, but I don’t let their dour moods sour my good attitude.

I believe in past lives, but I don’t believe one can return to life wherever it may be in this universe as an animal. Why ? It simply doesn’t make sense, but I’m not saying it couldn’t happen because as the bible puts it “we see through a glass darkly” when it comes to life after death.

There are times when I will see an auto and dream about what it would be like to own it and drive it, knowing that this would probably never happen in reality. But if I am lucky, perhaps it will. Heaven only knows.

I know this sounds strange, but I’ve always wondered what it would be like to cross-play. You might be familiar with the term cosplay. It’s Japanese, meaning costume play (or as we call it here, dress up). I have always loved dressing up and wearing costumes, being on stage, pretend, and that sort of thing because it really gives my imagination a full arsenal and battleground to roam free. I think I could pull off some male characters nicely even though I would get stared at for doing so. I’m not bisexual in the least sense, nor am I homosexual, but I think cross-playing would be fun, even if I did it only once. I also think that cosplay itself is enjoyable, although I haven’t had the pleasure of doing it. Hopefully, I will have my chance someday, and I can ‘show off’ a little bit.

But no fan service, fan boys. Sorry, I don’t really do that sort of thing.

I believe in past lives. No, I don’t think we return to this life as an animal, but I don’t see anything wrong with the belief that a soul might in fact do that. When it comes to the afterlife we’re clueless. I think what really matters is how we live our lives here and doing what good we can while we are alive. As Sylvia Browne says, “Do good, love God and then shut up and go Home.”

Things that make no sense to me: Why when the polar ice caps are melting they have to pin it on just one group, like America, and they take no account for the ice caps on Mars melting as well ? Perhaps it is not global warming but a warming trend we are going through ? It would be nice if our scientists could get together and start working on this problem if there is a solution, but I don’t know if it is a warming trend or global warming or what the heck’s happening. I just don’t let it bother me all that much. Life is short enough as it is.

Sometimes I get writer’s block, but most of the time my mind is rather active. Thanks to playing Brain Age (and this is no joke) I find conversing easier, typing, drawing, composing and all matter of activities simpler. I am even better at working computations, which has never been my strong point. However, a creative mind can have it’s downfalls. There are moments that I am awakened in the middle of the night by my muse (who never shuts up) to write something down so I don’t forget it. I can’t sleep until I complete what my muse wishes for me to finish, so until that time I could be up until the wee hours of the morning rattling off poems and miscellaneous written works (or compositions recorded over the tape recorder, depends on my mood)

Halloween is my time of the month to shine. In years past, I was Strawberry Shortcake, Beetlejuice, a cute kitty cat, a clown, death (actually I was just a monk), a witch and finally a vampiress. My imagination always rockets me to new heights, and I look forward to wearing many more hats and costumes as Halloween peaks its head around the corner every year, welcoming me with treats, friends and merriment.

I do consider myself a bit of a philosopher, though I have a lot to learn in this lifetime. I don’t think I’ll learn everything before I pass into the next life, but the more educated I am the better off I will be and more prepared I will be for life’s little twists and turns.

Only I would find a slug “pretty”, but I saw one today, particularly in a gravid state surrounded by little ones that was the most beautiful slug (if one can use the adjective ‘beautiful’ to describe these creatures) that I have ever seen. She was dark brown with light white dots, and such a lovely color that I decided to call her “Cinnamon”. Maybe I’ll see her again, but there’s no telling. Even if not, I’ll remember our little encounter at the bird bath. I removed her from it with a stick very gently and placed her on the ground, then the little ones as well.

I had a stunning philosophical experience recently. I went to see the play Plaza Suite and there was a man in the audience who had suffered from awful burns. He resembled Lon Chaney but had a smile that could charm anyone. His smile was the most remarkable feature besides his sheer willpower. I couldn’t seem to erase the memory of him from my mind. The burns didn’t bother me, his facial features didn’t bother me, but I was encouraged by his perspective. I think God was pointing out the irony of the universe to me. No matter how bad things look, feel or become, a person can still enjoy themselves and “arm themselves with the arsenal of laughter” as Mark Twain put it so eloquently.

I’m usually a very loving person but I don’t care much for teenagers. Some teenagers though, aren’t so bad, but I understand why some species kill their young particularly when they are in adolescence.

I met a little boy in the store who had a disfigured face and also had Down’s Syndrome, but his disposition was one of utter delight. Again, God is showing me how even in the most unlikely people (despite their affliction) joy can come forth and even in the most difficult circumstance there can be something positive found. Every day, I see a new example of this.

Join us ? Join us ? I am sorry, but I do not confine myself to the group mentality. I like being in groups, but I prefer to be an individual. Have you seen the commercials for Brother, a financial plan for people who march to the beat of a different drummer ? Well, that person is me. I am not a “cookie cutter” person, but the cookie, and this tough cookie doesn’t crumble under pressure nor can the flames of adversity burn me.

My father recently said one of the funniest things recently. “It’s no wonder I’m not allergic to my wife. I’m lucky I don’t go into anaphylactic shock when I look at her”. Hee hee, dad, your ad libs are gold.

I realize suddenly these thoughts could probably go on ad infinitum, and how random the human mind actually is. Another thing I would like to leave you with is how I can see music in my mind with different scenes. For instance, if I hear a march, I see a parade with people dressed in uniforms, or people in kilts. If I hear classical music, sometimes, I see a ballet dancer executing absolutely breathtaking poses. Or I can see meteor showers. Depends what the music makes me think of, and I am glad I have this kind of imagination. I pray it stays with me forever !