"why does this hurt?"

\\Because you're weak.\\

it happened again, a night where i got so wrapped up and up into my past
that it crippled me (crumbled me)
and i fell to the ground
and couldnt stand the people around me

i wanted them to shut the fuck up
they could never (never) understand
thought about DXM and its wonders & how it ruined my life
thought about lauren and jon and kyle and sanja

thought about how i should be over this by now (but i'm not)
and how i just hide away; scared of the truth surfacing again
truly horrid monogomous things that cripple
my views skewing off; chasing down what i choose to ignore

my eyes flicker to your face; i cant look cant look
ignorance is bliss (cherish it for it will always end)
fight the tears
with bandages wrapped round and round her wrists; the clasp is silver
i failed my test today
humiliated myself (it reminded me of last year)
and i miss everyone but i don't

and for the first time in ages, i dragged that blade across my wrist
it was the crappiest thing ever
it hated it
i fucking hated it
this depression will never subside, the pain will never stagnate

"Why do you cry?"

\\I cry because I am sad. \\