Another short story! I own. Review. Flames are ignited and thrown in the garbage while I belt Rent at the top of my lungs (see movie for understanding).

Hurting

The sun was nearly beginning to rise.

I, personally, enjoyed riding the bus to school every morning. There was something peaceful about the quiet and dark, sitting close to a complete stranger, as odd as it may sound. Just some alone time in the early hours of the day, to wake up and prepare yourself for the day.

The rest of the school day, however, I hated. At my school, Springwater High School, I was invisible. I was ignored, I just didn’t matter. I didn’t have any friends, any people I could sit with, and while I enjoyed “personal me time” having it all day got a little old. My mother worked almost all day, and my dad left us almost ten years ago, so I was used to being by myself. Well, I had a dog.

But at some point, you yearn for some human company.

I sighed as the bus pulled into the loop and pulled to a stop. I always sat towards the front, and patiently waited to get off. But, however, having my perfect grace, I tripped when I reached the front of the bus, dropping my books along the steps. This seemed to be funny to the rest of the bus, even the bus driver. I let out an exasperated groan and began picking up my junk.

Two strong arms smoothly lifted me up, and I fell back against a hard, warm body. I almost wanted to stay, but I pulled away, glaring angrily at the person who’d touched me. My eyes suddenly widened, my mouth gaping, but I quickly regained my “loner-ness” and grabbed my stuff and got off the bus.

James Larson, a guy, I dare admit, I’d been crushing on since freshman year. I don’t personally get the use of a “crush.” Especially for me. It’s not like anybody would like me. I hurried to class, trying to get away from the bus as far, and fast, as I could. Was it me, or was there certain tenderness to his touch? The way he steadied me carefully? Oh, bull shit.

James was your basic really, really hot sports jock. He had short brown hair, blue eyes, and the body of a God. Yeah, I was a freak.

I also, naturally, was one of those dorky kids who practically knew everything that their teacher was teaching them, so, classes past slowly and without interest. I pretty much perfected acting like what I knew what the class discussion was about when my teachers called on me. Little talent I have.

I saw James again twice in the halls, and both times he looked like he wanted to say something, but didn’t. Why did he have the sudden interest in me now? I was horrible at expressing my feelings. There was a reason I didn’t have any friends. I believe it’s my father’s fault. That whole abandonment thing, you know?

I absently copied notes in class, got all my homework done in study hall, and had nothing to do by lunch. I sat alone, of course. I sat in a nice little corner, close to the window, which was being splattered with rain. How lovely.

Actually, I did like rain. But sometimes, it was just depressing. I was happy when I’d heard on the radio about rain being a definite possibility for today, but at the moment, it was making my day worse.

I saw a cake brought out of someone’s backpack at the “popular table” apparently it was somebody’s birthday. The popular table consisted mostly of big sluts and their horny boyfriends. But it has its fair share of single jocks and cheerleaders. James, for starters.

Damn! He was walking over to me.

“Hello there,” he said, setting a piece of cake in front of me, “I noticed you weren’t eating anything. Thought I’d bring you some cake.” He smiled.

“No thanks,” I brushed it off. I had to make him leave. “Not hungry.”

“You have to be kinda hungry,” he said.

“Nope,” I said.

“Well, I’m not taking that back,” he said persistently.

“Then watch it go in the trash,” I replied. Wonder why I’m being such an asshole? Because he’ll just get my hopes up, and then tomorrow, be on some whore-ish girl’s arm. Nobody get’s close to me. It’s a personal rule.

“Why don’t you ever smile?” he asked me, “You’re cute when you smile.”

Great. Just what I needed. “I have nothing to smile about.”

“Well, we should find you something,” he said, grinning again. God was his grin beautiful- I had to, had to, snap out of this trance he put me in. I was getting pathetic.

“That it?” I growled. I really hated myself for it. “Or is there more?”

He sighed, “That’s it, I guess.”

“Great,” I stood up, “Goodbye.”

I sped out of there so fast, too fast maybe. I could see his stung face through the window outside. He looked hurt. It had me rethinking the whole “nobody close rule” for a second, but I snapped out of it.

I got through the rest of the day without another encounter. Last period was horrible, and it seemed to drag on and on- never ending. I hate school, really. I have no idea why I come.

I was ecstatic when the bell rung, and then not so happy when I found him waiting for me outside our bus. Why was he being like this? I drop my books once and suddenly, he has the urge to stalk me and annoy the living hell of me. And then he smiles…

“Oh, surprise, you’re waiting,” I sighed.

“I wanted to apologize for lunch,” he said, “And see if you wanted to sit with me today.”

“Apology accepted and no, I don’t,” I said. And there was that hurt face again, but he recoiled quickly.

“Permission to sit in the seat next to yours?” he asked.

“I’m walking home,” I said randomly. Yeah, wasn’t that a smart idea? Walking home in the rain! I began to walk away making my way to the side walk past the row of busses.

“Then, I’ll walk with you,” he said from behind me. Geez! Did he not get the picture?

“That’s okay, I don’t want you too,” I said.

“Because I’m a guy?” he asked.

“What?” I snapped. I should probably mention that I’m gay, and it wasn’t a secret at all at my beloved school. Everyone knew. So his insinuation shocked me. Was he that slow? I was a frickin’ walking homosexual billboard!

“Will you not walk with me cause I’m a guy?” he asked again.

“No! It’s because you’re a perv. How many girls do you go through in a week?” I growled, “And I don’t understand why the hell you wanna walk with me anyway, it’s not like you’ve ever showed any ounce of compassion for me before when you were making fun of me with your pals. Hell, if you even noticed I was there.” I walked off, and was glad that he didn’t follow.

Now he would get it. I was not a people person. People hurt me. And I was not getting hurt.

That’s how it was.

Man did I feel like crap. As he walked away from me, even after the buses had all pulled out of the parking lot, I stood. It began to rain, but I didn’t move. I mean, I knew that I hadn’t exactly been best buddies with the guy, but he always acted like he kinda liked me or something.

And there just seemed to be something that went off inside me this morning when everyone was laughing at him. I wanted to hurt them all.

I finally snapped into reality, and headed towards the teen parking lot. My sister and I shared a car, and she usually stayed after school every day for various club meetings, so she knew that if the car was there, I’d road home on the bus, and she was to drive it home, and if it wasn’t, she should just catch a ride with one of her friends.

I got into the car, wiping the water off my face. I started the engine and drove smoothly out of the lot, and down the same road the buses had exited from, also, conveniently, the same road that had the nice little sidewalk next to it, that he’s be walking on.

David Winter, was his name. And he was my unofficial obsession now. I realized how much that sounded like a stalker, but hey, who wouldn’t stalk him? He had that whole dork thing going on, but it was adorable on him. I smiled at the thought.

I caught him about halfway to his house (I know where it is because he get’s dropped off before me). He was soaked too. I rolled down my window. He scowled, but being distracted with acting like he hated me, he tripped and dropped his books.

He scrambled to pick them up. I got out of the car and helped him.

“Stop!” he whined, “I’ve got it.”

I was getting rather sick of this boy. I stole his books and threw them through the open car down. Then I grabbed his thin little body, pulled him close, and pressed my lips to his.

He stiffened automatically, even struggled a bit, but I was stronger and held him there. Eventually, he realized that he really did want to kiss me, and gave in. I won, and the prize was very satisfying. He was a great kisser.

“I’ll drive you home,” I said when I’d pulled back. Before he could speak, I was leading him to the passenger’s door, and pushing him (gently, of course) inside. I got in and shut the door, starting back down the road. He was shaking, and I reached over for his hands. He pulled them back, looking almost afraid of me. “I won’t bite.” He gave me his pale hands and I put them in front of the heater, turning it up some. He starred straight ahead.

“I’m not a screw, or anything,” he said quietly, “you know.”

I sighed. “So worried.”

“I’m just saying,” he said, “I’m not one of the many.”

“I do not kiss somebody unless there’s a reason,” I explained.

“Well, if you want to kiss me again, take me on a date,” he said. I nodded. He was being more cooperative. “But you have to promise not to fall in love with me.”

“That’s a little hypocritical,” I said, plain confused, “If I with you, I have to be with you, so long as I don’t fall in love with you?”

“I’ll hurt you,” he said bluntly, “I’m not good with people.”

“Why, may I inquire, will you hurt me?” I asked.

“Because they always hurt me first,” he muttered.

“I will do no such thing,” I said.

“Promise?” he asked.

“As long as you promise to smile more often, remember when you did that?” I grinned.

He rolled his eyes, but cracked some what of a smile. That made me happy.

Real happy.