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Do they have horror films in Heaven?

You bet!

Cineplex Odeons of ‘em,

massage parlors too!

And I’ll get to them -- promise,

after I’ve trembled past the Pearly Gates

And stand before my

Maker. After I bear

whatever is left to bear

when the soul has slipped

its mortal coil.

After I stand, and withstand His judgment

and rapture!

For it’s all here!

Every joy one can imagine.

Every soul there ever was.

I’ll thank Lincoln for freeing the slaves

And find out how Homo habilis truly lived,

or Lucy died.

Tennis with Marilyn Monroe

Tea with Lady Di.

I’ll search in vain

for Kurt Cobain

who surprisingly no one will seem to know.

I’ll do all these things – promise,

after I’ve settled into some impossibly

Heavenly home and ease

my load onto an easy chair

fluffed by cherubs and forty virgins.

After I’ve taken out my cell phone

And perch myself on the cushion’s edge

hand up silence

to check my E-Mail

to find out

all the things I’ve missed

since I’ve been gone.